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The weird world of straight-to-DVD Christian film

Distributors are increasingly targeting religious viewers. We look at some of the stranger recent releases

The weird world of straight-to-DVD Christian film
A still from "KJB: the Book that Changed the World"

The straight-to-DVD marketplace isn't made up of just zero-budget horror flicks and an endless supply of thrillers starring the ever-tightening face of Val Kilmer. Every month, more and more screeners aimed at the Christian market get left on my doorstep as Lionsgate looks to cater to a potential audience that makes up at least one-third of the U.S. population. Since the beginning of 2011, I've received "The Miracle Maker," an amazing-looking claymation retelling of the story of Christ, complete with a stop-motion crucifixion, as well as a "Veggie Tales" Blu-ray with box art that sent me into a deep state of despair. As it turns out, there's nothing more depressing than "Veggie Tales" box art.

There are also the Christian documentaries such as "The Case for Christ: The Film" where "atheist-turned-Christian" and former Chicago Tribune reporter Lee Strobel walks around in a trench coat like a pudgy noir gumshoe as he braces "expert witnesses" and uncovers "an avalanche of evidence pointing towards the truth of Christianity." Since I watched only the trailer for this thing, his investigation into the mysteries of the Bible appears to take him no farther than the faculty clubs of several North American divinity schools. The trailer for Strobel's follow-up, "The Case for Faith: the Film," builds false tension through a militaristic score that sounds like it was also used in some later era Van Damme movies. This time, Strobel interrogates megachurch pastor Rick Warren, who likens Our Savior to a love-struck 14-year-old by saying, "When Jesus stretches his hands out on the cross, he was saying I love you this much; I love you so much it hurts."

When I tore open the bubble mailer containing "KJB: the Book that Changed the World," I first thought it was a dated espionage thriller set in the Cold War with John Rhys-Davies as an aging master spy. Under closer examination however, I realized that KJB wasn't the initials of some Soviet intelligence agency, but those of the go-to book for English-speaking Protestants -- the King James Bible. This release appeared to be a "Masterpiece Theatre"-like costume-drama for those mainline Protestants who crave the sight of ruffled collars but don't approve of the wall-to-wall boffing and bloodletting that comes with such Showtime spectacles as "The Tudors" or "The Borgias." Evidently, the faith-based DVD market of 2011 has evolved beyond "Left Behind" potboilers with Kirk Cameron.

Unfortunately, Rhys-Davies never dons a ruffled collar or pantaloons himself. Instead the thespian who played Gimli the dwarf and Indiana Jones' Arabic pal wanders through sword fights and historic locations in the role of the all-knowing presenter, as "KJB" is really a documentary with longer than usual reenactments. Making things more modern, Rhys-Davies explains the events surrounding King James I's 1604 commissioning of the version of the Bible that would bear his name with lots of sports metaphors. An earlier attempt to produce an English translation of the Bible is "kicked into the long grass"; First Earl of Salisbury Robert Cecil has "a ringside seat" for a religious conference; and James' schooling of the bishops is called a "first round technical knockout." For his part, Andrew Rothney as the adult King James uses rather salty language as he rails against "papist puke" and tells a Puritan delegate that a lengthy list of demands was "a litany of dullness and stupidity blown out of your buttocks."

"KJB" also details the last days of Queen Elizabeth (Paola Dionisotti) as well as Guy Fawkes' (Duncan Rennie) plot to blow up King James and the entire parliament, which should pique the interest of those creepy guys who go around wearing "V for Vendetta" masks. The film is at its best when Rhys-Davies steps into the pulpit and reads, "In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was God" (John 1:1). Through his rich baritone, the man who has endured more "Anaconda" sequels than anyone should have to makes the case for the King James Bible as work of English literature on equal footing with Shakespeare. In the end, "KJB" is a solid if low-budgeted docudrama that makes a person miss those more enlightened times back when the History Channel promoted these kinds of productions, before its programming schedule was crowded with ice road truckers, pawn stars and swamp people.

Bob Calhoun is a regular Open Salon blogger and the author of the punk-wrestling memoir, "Beer, Blood and Cornmeal: Seven Years of Incredibly Strange Wrestling." You can follow him on Twitter.

The worst remakes of all time

Slide show: From "Swept Away" to "The Haunting," the films and TV shows that most cruelly desecrated the originals

Last week's slide show named the greatest remakes of all time. This week we go in the other direction and choose the worst -- an assortment of movies and TV programs so misguided, lame or crass that they make your eyes ache and your brain hurt.

The list of outrages includes Sylvester Stallone taking over one of Michael Caine's greatest roles, David Soul trying to fill in for Humphrey Bogart, Stephen King screwing up a Danish horror classic, and two instances of Hollywood remaking bleak masterworks with happy endings. Please add your own list of outrages in the Letters section; what good is misery if you can't share it?

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Sidney Lumet, 1924-2011: He made movies for grownups

The late director of "Dog Day Afternoon" and "Network" told stories that were tough, funny and ultimately human

Sidney Lumet, 1924-2011: He made films for grownups
Al Pacino in Sidney Lumet's 1975 classic "Dog Day Afternoon"

Sidney Lumet made movies for grownups. That's the first thing and the last thing that should be said about this great American director, who died of lymphoma Friday night at the ripe old age of 86.

His long list of great, good, and otherwise notable films focuses mainly on personal morality within the context of social institutions: police departments, courts, media empires, the American economy and government: "Dog Day Afternoon." "Serpico." "Network." "Prince of the City." "The Pawnbroker." "Twelve Angry Men." "Running on Empty." "The Group." "The Verdict." "The Fugitive Kind." "Fail Safe." He was interested in the here and now -- in how his fellow adults lived, loved and died, in boardrooms and courtrooms, in bedrooms, and on the streets. Escapism is one of the great, primal lures of moviegoing, but cinema also exists to confront and engage. That was Lumet's preference, and he continued to indulge it long after Hollywood had retooled itself as a fun factory for teenagers; his gritty, detail-obsessed legal series "100 Centre Street" premiered on cable when he was 75, and his last movie, the coal-black, greed-infected domestic drama "Before the Devil Knows You're Dead," came out in 2007, when he was 82. He never made a film about superheroes, extraterrestrials, or giant robots. He kept it real.

Lumet started his career directing live TV dramas, which were essentially theater that happened to be broadcast to tens of millions of people simultaneously. If you've ever seen any productions from that amazing, brief era -- which began in the early 50s and ended about 10 years later, when TV production moved to the West Coast and almost everything started being done on tape rather than live -- you can see where Lumet's aesthetic came from. Directing live television required a commitment to the text, the actors, the moment, the reality of what was happening right then.  You were essentially creating cinema in real-time, figuring out where the actors were going to be at any given moment in the story and making sure that one of several cameras was positioned not just to capture the action, but to showcase it in a dynamic and interesting way, a way that served the moment without overwhelming it.

Lumet carried that aesthetic over to his theatrical films, starting with his 1957 big-screen adaptation of Reginald Rose's live teleplay "12 Angry Men," set entirely in a jury room during a murder trial. We think of this as a talk-driven piece, and it is, but it's also subtly yet boldly visual. According to Lumet's memoir "Making Movies," the film's depth-of-field changes as the story unfolds, starting out with wide-angle lenses (which keep everyone in focus and give faces a slightly gargoyle-like aspect) and then gradually shifting to longer and longer lenses, which compress space and convey a sense of intimacy and isolation. This shift befits Rose's script, which starts out viewing the jurors as an unformed, anonymous mass, then gradually reveals them as complex, troubled, passionate, imperfect individuals.

And watch what Lumet does in this sequence from "Running on Empty," in which River Phoenix's character -- the son of political radicals who've been living underground for nearly two decades -- auditions for Julliard. Notice how Lumet starts the sequence with the camera very far back from everyone involved (conveying the distance between performer and audience at the start of the audition) then gradually moves closer and closer, through cuts, until both the perfomer and the listeners are in closeup. 

This is the sort of directing most viewers might not notice the first time, if at all. But it has a subliminal effect on what we're feeling as we sit there in the dark. Many of Lumet's aesthetic choices were like that. He thought about the story from the inside out, letting text and performance dictate visuals, rather than superimposing meaning. It's not the only valid way to make a movie, but it's demanding and illuminating, and there are not as many rewards in it as there are in the shoot-the-camera-out-of-a-cannon type of directorial pyrotechnics. That's why, even though Lumet's films sometime became hits and won awards, they never gained much currency with auteurist critics. Just because you don't instantly notice what directors are doing doesn't mean they aren't doing anything.

Lumet was also a political filmmaker -- a committed liberal, obsessed with social justice (and injustice) and the ways in which the powerful conspired to oppress, exploit and distract the powerless, and the tendency of institutions to flout rules and laws they were supposed to uphold. But these subjects were always embedded in the stories themselves and carried by the characters and the narrative. The movies rarely became straightforward polemics because Lumet was always positioning the morality of his characters in relation to the world and showing where they diverged, and he was more likely to observe than to judge or sneer.

He made more than a few stinkers -- the depressingly un-fantastic film version of "The Wiz" is probably his low point, perhaps because it's the sort of movie Lumet was never good at or terribly interested in -- and in the last couple of decades of his life, "Before the Devil" notwithstanding, one could sense an ebb of energy and focus. Some of his later films play like inferior copies of his earlier classics; his last cop corruption thriller "Night Falls on Manhattan" was listless and redundant. And "A Stranger Among Us," "Guilty as Sin" and the remake of John Cassavetes' "Gloria" were flat-out terrible, disasters from which everyone involved was lucky to escape. But when you look back over the breadth of his career, the sheer number of memorable films is astonishing. Lumet was never less than a vital and important American filmmaker, fiercely committed to telling stories about people who might actually exist and things that could actually happen.

Lumet made three great movies about police corruption -- 1973's "Serpico," 1982's "Prince of the City," and 1990's neglected, magnificently scuzzy "Q & A" -- and broached the subject in other less successful movies (including 1997's "Night Falls on Manhattan"). His 1966 adaptation of Mary McCarthy's "The Group" was a more astute examination of modern American women's slippery, conflicted, volatile self-images on the cusp of the feminist revolution than almost anything that had been made in Hollywood up till then; the film also introduced a kinetic yet controlled way of shooting group conversations that hadn't been seen yet, slowly moving the camera around an ensemble while making sure the screen captured important lines or realizations as they occurred. To say Lumet's "Network," from a fire-and-brimstone script by Paddy Chayefsky, was prescient would be a gross understatement. It's not just the hilariously exaggerated portrait of network executives' greedy crassness that pops off the screen, it's the movie's furious and despairing portrait of mass media as a form of mind control that turns viewers into "motorized, transistorized sheep," "as replaceable as piston rods." Most chilling of all is the movie's position of Howard Beale (Peter Finch), the "mad prophet of the airwaves," as a mere player in the bread-and-circuses master plan of international corporations -- a means of letting the people blow off steam without directing their outrage toward substantive and lasting change. It's all about serving the bottom line, taking care of the Owners. As network president Arthur Jensen tells Beale,

You are an old man who thinks in terms of nations and peoples. There are no nations. There are no peoples. There are no Russians. There are no Arabs. There are no Third Worlds. There is no West. There is only one holistic system of systems, one vast and immane, interwoven, interacting, multivariate, multinational dominion of dollars! Petro-dollars, electro-dollars, multi-dollars, reichmarks, rins, rubles, pounds, and shekels! It is the international system of currency which determines the totality of life on this planet! That is the natural order of thiiiiiiiings today. That is the atomic and subatomic and galactic structure of thiiiiiiings today! And you have meddled with the primal forces of nature, and you... WILL... ATONE!

"The Fugitive Kind," Lumet's adaptation of Tennessee Williams'  "Orpheus Descending," is a peculiar, loving, smart portrait of outsiders within America -- Marlon Brando trading his rebel's snakeskin jacket for a suit and tie, Anna Magnani's Italian businesswoman fighting to be taken seriously in the redneck south. It's more like an American version of a mid-'60s European art film than anything Lumet directed, with the exception of 1964's searing "The Pawnbroker," one of his masterworks -- a black-and-white drama about a Holocaust survivor (Rod Steiger) plagued by nightmarish flashbacks to his wartime experience. The latter is one of the most important American films of the 1960s -- not just for its complex, pained view of racism, urban unrest and liberal guilt (Steiger's Sol Nazerman finds the poor African-Americans around him unnerving and scary even as his mind sees them as America's equivalent of persecuted European Jews), but also for its unstinting commitment to physical reality (most of the movie was shot on the streets of New York, sometimes without permits), and its jagged, intuitive cutting style.

Lumet and his editor on "The Pawnbroker," Ralph Rosenblum, imported French New Wave editing techniques, skipping back and forth between past and present with hard cuts rather than the usual "Now we're going back in time!" dissolves that were once the norm. Portions of this film have the eerie transporting power of "Hiroshima, Mon Amour," the film that perfected this kind of cutting. Again, the filmmaking feels internal, subjective; the form of the movie is dictated by its focus on Sol Nazerman's emotions and psychology, and the most powerful parts of it feel almost first-person -- as the hero's mind is reaching out, wresting the film away from Lumet and shattering it into pieces.

If I had to choose a personal favorite, though, it would be 1975's "Dog Day Afternoon," a dramatization of a real-life bank robbery. It showcases one of Al Pacino's funniest, most touching performances, and it brings many of Lumet's fascinations together: psychology, group dynamics, the relationship between individuals and society, and institutions and communities, with a little media satire thrown in. (I love the deliveryman bringing a pizza to Pacino's character, Sonny, then telling the crowd and the cameras, "I'm a fuckin' star!") It also politicizes everyday life in ways that modern films wouldn't dare do. The sequence where Sonny riles up the crowd against the cops and FBI by invoking the bloody Attica riots is one of the great populist rabble-rousing scenes in American motion pictures. Equally good is the opening of the movie, a wordless, nearly four-minute mini-documentary set to Elton John's "Amoreena" that situates the amazing story we're about to see within the context of daily existence in a big city. A line from John's song reminds me of the tough, tender sense of life communicated in Lumet's movies: "Living/Like a lusty flower."

 

The best remakes of all time

Slide show: From "Battlestar" to "The Fly," we look at 11 TV shows and movies that truly transformed their sources

This slide show was sparked by the seemingly never-ending waves of remakes coming at us via TV and movies -- a phenomenon that includes everything from "Clash of the Titans," "Alice in Wonderland," "The A-Team," "The Crazies" and "Let Me In" to a spate of recent TV productions: CBS' "Hawaii Five-O," AMC's "The Killing," HBO's "Mildred Pierce" and the new "Upstairs Downstairs" (which is technically a continuation, with a couple of characters from the original, but feels like a stealth reboot).

Most of these projects are driven mainly by commerce, and an awful lot of them feel whorish, pointless and trite. But once in awhile you see a remake that truly does seem to have an identity apart from the original -- like a cover of a beloved pop song that makes you see the source in a new light, and perhaps even supplants it in your memory. This slide show picks the most adventurous, exciting and (yes!) original remakes of all time -- 10 slides, 11 titles, with commentary explaining how they equal or exceed their predecessors. By all means, argue and nitpick and list your own favorites in the Letters section.

Along the way, I hope we can have a freewheeling conversation about remakes, the wisdom of doing them, and the craving they satisfy. Does the word "remake" even have any meaning, or is it just a loaded, snide way of describing what we'd call a "version" or "cover" if we loved the result? What's more impressive: a strong remake of a recognized classic, or a fascinating spin on a tale that was mediocre to terrible the first time around? Do remakes of TV series or movies even have to justify themselves? Or are they the motion picture equivalent of rerecording a pop song or restaging a play, in which case we should all just shut up about whether they're justified? And what the hell is "Airplane!" doing on this list?

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The Kennedy films you should actually see

Slide show: As a new miniseries riles critics, we look at the Camelot stories that are worth your time

The premiere of the new miniseries "The Kennedys" on the ReelzChannel marks a milestone: It is the one zillionth film about America's most durable political dynasty. OK, not "officially" -- as is sometimes the case, we exaggerate for effect. But it sure feels like another snowflake in an endless blizzard, doesn't it? Not a month goes by that you don't stumble across a new feature film, TV series, documentary, play, book or other bit of pop culture that's obsessed with the Kennedy clan: a prestige project or a cynical cash-in, a valentine or a smear job. You can't get away from them even if you want to -- and a lot of people don't want to, otherwise there wouldn't be so many Kennedy projects.

This slide show collects 15 of the most essential, fascinating and bizarre Kennedy-related films from a half-century's worth of cinema and television. Our list includes documentaries, docudramas, an action film, a satirical thriller, and a few movies in which JFK and RFK aren't so much characters as ghostly spirits haunting the imaginations of the living. The most important title on the list is the shortest.

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Miss Marple gets a sexy makeover

Agatha Christie's mature lady sleuth is the latest character to get a youthful reboot. Make it stop!

Miss Marple gets a sexy makeover
Reuters
Jennifer Garner

OK, OK, listen to this pitch: Agatha Christie's Miss Marple, only young. And hot. It can't miss! Everybody knows Agatha Christie's name even if they've never read her stories. She's a brand name. And Miss Marple is one of her most famous characters. Problem is, she's an old lady, and in today's marketplace, that's a dealbreaker. But imagine a movie about Miss Marple as a younger woman? Maybe in her mid-30s? And h-h-hawt? Maybe an American doing a British accent. Hey, Jennifer Garner!

I exaggerate, but only a bit. According to Deadline Hollywood, Garner will star in and co-produce a Walt Disney feature film with her Vandalia Films partner, Juliana Janes, about Miss Marple as a young woman.  The script will be written by filmmaker and author Mark Frost, co-creator of "Twin Peaks." It is not known whether the story will take place in England or the United States, but the Hollywood Reporter says it will be set in the present.

There is a written record for Frost to draw on: Christie's Marple often connected whatever was happening in the present-tense story with past experiences in her hometown, the English village of St. Mary Mead; her anecdotes often irritated listeners who thought she was just a dotty old broad tripping along memory lane, rather than a fearsomely smart amateur sleuth with a passion for justice. So it's not inconcievable that the movie could be good, or at least watchable.

Still, it's worth noting that the "Young Miss Marple" project is part of a larger trend of reimagining durable, somewhat older fictional characters as young and hot.  Examples include the Christian Bale Batman films (Bruce Wayne as a young man), the 2009 "Star Trek" movie (the 'Enterprise' crew post-academy), "Hannibal Rising" (portrait of the serial killer as a young man) and the upcoming "X-Men: First Class."  The tyranny of demographics holds that older viewers will watch stories about younger characters, but the reverse generally isn't true. Thus the craze for "Muppet Babies"-type reboots. 

The mass media version of the Marple "brand," such as it is, is built around movies and TV programs starring older actresses, almost all of whom were English: Margaret Rutherford, Angela Lansbury, Gracie Fields, Joan Hickson, Helen Hayes (a rare American ringer), Geraldine McEwan and Julia McKenzie. Is the notion of a more traditional Marple with a grey-haired leading lady -- maybe even an English lady -- really that unthinkable, or uncommercial? There's no shortage of working 60- and 70-something actresses who could play Marple sensationally well -- and if you cast Helen Mirren you'd have the commercially mandatory "hot" adjective covered anyhow.

Readers, tear off a piece of this, won't you?

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Film Salon is a collaborative blog, bringing together critics, bloggers, filmmakers, movie professionals and fans to discuss the hottest topics in the film world. It is moderated by Andrew O'Hehir.
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