Britney Spears debuts new single, 'Hold it Against Me'
“If I said I wanted your body now, would you hold it against me?”
It’s got to be tough singing lines like that with a straight face, and whether Britney Spears is in on the joke or not, you’ll be hearing that limp-as-a-dishrag double entendre a lot in the next few months.
Brace yourselves. Britney Spears’ latest single, “Hold it Against Me,” debuted Monday at the Web site of celebrity shill Ryan Seacrest. (Be warned, the Seacrest leak includes gratuitous commentary from the unctuous emcee: “That is hot!” “It’s gonna be sick in the club!”)
The Britney franchise is leaving nothing to chance, enlisting longtime producers Max Martin and Dr. Luke to do their usual hit-massaging. They buff Spears’ chirpy voice until it’s just another serviceable part – distorting it, smudging it, making it skip -- in a big, gleaming machine. As usual, it’s not about lyrical insight: Britney sees Boy Toy, Britney yearns for Boy Toy, Britney seduces Boy Toy, Britney pummels Boy Toy with dancefloor beats the size of small buildings. It has little to do with Britney as a performer. As is the case with most of her recent work, she sounds bored.
No, this is all about the knob-twisters behind the studio glass. Martin and the good Dr. work from the ground up, with a rhythm track that grips the road like an earth-mover, rumbling the lower regions of speaker cabinets everywhere, then morphs into an ebullient disco groove. It’s one of the tougher-sounding Spears singles yet and should do the job as a dancefloor-filler for listeners who are starting to wear out on the latest singles from Katy Perry and Black Eyed Peas. Spears’ seventh studio album is due in March.
greg@gregkot.com