Comments
She may be my 'wife' but it is time to rebut!
2009-03-03 10:52:59
I knew something was up when I got a rash of texts about dishwashers yesterday late morning. I was working on a speech at the time, so pushed the phone to one side and ignored them.
Then, out on my bike in the afternoon, a fellow cyclist overtaking me in Regent's Park (an increasingly frequent occurrence I'm afraid) shouted across to me 'surprised you put up with all that this morning.' He was gone before I could establish what he was talking about.
Finally, on the way in to the cinema last night, a couple of women greeted Fiona with a quiet, conspiratorial welcome and the words - 'well done on Women's Hour.' Then the penny dropped.
I was being done in by my own partner as part of the publicity drive for 'The Secret World of the Working Mother' by (said partner) Fiona Millar. It started in The Times recently. Fabulous picture of Fiona and the dog (Molly) on the sofa, surrounded by paintings by our kids atop an interview saying what it's like living with someone who may be a 'fabulous father' but is a workaholic, prone to depression and utterly useless around the house.
Allow me to quote from the book, and then judge for yourselves the glee with which the publisher's spin department will have seized upon this section as they put together a media plan (oh yes, I know how it all works ...)
'Having lived for over 25 years,' she writes (it's 30 actually, and as someone said on Mumsnet yesterday, you should consider yourself lucky, but let's put that to one side) 'with someone who still can't start the washing machine, load the dishwasher in any way that could possibly allow the dishes to be cleaned, doesn't do lightbulbs, fuses, flat tyres and once told me, when I suggested that he might mow the lawn, that if he had wanted to mow the lawn he would have become a gardener, I am fully acquainted with the dual burden.'
I have been trying to hear what she actually said on Women's Hour but despite my new found attempts to go digital, I don't appear to be able to work the 'Listen Again' thing on the BBC, and Fiona is not around to help me, which as you will guess from the above paragraph is the usual way of things when it comes to anything technical. (Which reminds me, I need a new cartridge in the printer. But she's busy doing another interview no doubt.)
I assume from yesterday's texts that she was elaborating on her claims about me not being able to load the dishwasher, and I must say, in forcible terms, that the claim is NOT TRUE. I accept that I cannot start the dishwasher, nor the washing machine. That is a fair cop. I confess that I have never changed a light bulb, nor a fuse, and the only time I ever tried to replace a flat tyre, a passing woman driver took pity on me as she watched my pathetic efforts to put the jack in the right place, and changed it for me.
Equally, I may well have said what Fiona said I said in response to her request to mow the lawn. She may even have toned it down that bit, as I think I had a couple of F words in there. So tha t part of the charge sheet - all true. Also, all blindingly obvious to her when we first met.
But it is simply not true to say that I put cups and glasses in the dishwasher the wrong way round. There, I feel better having rebutted that. In any event, I think this is all part of a very subtle game that women play to have complete power in the home. Though I have always been the main breadwinner, she handles our finances (or, as she boasted to the Times, I don't know our bank account password. I didn't know you needed one. Maybe that was the start of the banking crisis. Passwords indeed.)
She makes nearly all the decisions about holidays, major purchases, furnishings and decorations and social engagements. On the rare occasions I have tried to make the bed, she has immediately re-done it. So what is the point, I ask whenever I look at rumpled sheets, in wasting time making it in the first place when I could be at my desk writing a key scene in the next novel? There, I feel better having justified my non-bedmaking to myself.
Anyone who has read The Blair Years will know that Fiona and I have the occasional right old tear up, sometimes about policy but mainly about me having done a job which required 24/7 intensity and so even less time for washing dishes and plumping up cushions. But with time and patience comes the ability to forgive, and I will forgive her the dishwasher calumny provided she and her spin doctors stop repeating it and limit the charge sheet to washing machines, fuses, lightbulbs and tyres.
I will also recommend her book - and if she is nice to me might even allow it onto my books page. It is a very good analysis of the challenges facing working mothers, research and real people stories running alongside each other. And even though I might be too far gone to change my own outmoded ways, at least after reading it I felt I understood better what she'd been on about all these years. (There you are - stick that on the cover of the next edition, Ebury spin doctors!)
* The Secret World of the Working Mother by Fiona ('lucky enough to be married to Alastair Campbell' - Mumsnet) Millar (Ebury Press, £12.99, published March 5)
PS, she's doing a live webchat on Mumsnet today. I'll be stacking the dishwasher.
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On Scottish independence, Cameron's short-termism, and Jimmy Carter being rightPublish date: 2009-09-17 09:56:56
Is Cameron Alex Salmond's Trojan Horse?Publish date: 2009-09-15 10:13:42
On the TUC, Roy of the Rovers and Anna WintourPublish date: 2009-09-14 11:04:46
Memo to Apple boss Steve JobsPublish date: 2009-09-13 17:36:31
A day in the life of a (crap) City traderPublish date: 2009-09-11 17:52:25
Defend record with pride, attack Tories with gustoPublish date: 2009-09-10 11:06:36
Cameron's Conservatism beyond parodyPublish date: 2009-09-09 10:38:00
On transforned cities, and tales of Princess Di and Laura BushPublish date: 2009-09-08 09:45:54
Labour should put minister up against Griffin on Question TimePublish date: 2009-09-06 12:39:56
School speech the latest source of right-wing frothing at ObamaPublish date: 2009-09-05 08:23:02
More horse's mouth, less Beeb blah pleasePublish date: 2009-09-04 22:49:20
Real respect for sport can be Olympic legacyPublish date: 2009-09-04 09:27:34
First ladies watch out for Japanese bombshellPublish date: 2009-09-03 10:47:19
TV debate - good idea in theory, but ...Publish date: 2009-09-02 15:37:43
'No worries' - the new response to thanksPublish date: 2009-09-01 12:25:19
Tremors of Japanese political earthquake will be felt far and widePublish date: 2009-08-30 15:50:54
Pressure on Ed Miliband can help get a climate change dealPublish date: 2009-08-28 13:39:08
Why Tories and media cannot stomach GCSE success storyPublish date: 2009-08-27 16:03:34
Exposing the absurdity of Chris GraylingPublish date: 2009-08-26 13:20:19
Joy and beauty and a night of magicPublish date: 2009-08-20 10:55:11
Twitter NHS backlash good for ObamaPublish date: 2009-08-14 15:44:49
A lifetime's ambition fulfilledPublish date: 2009-08-08 16:59:02
Breaking the blog-a-day spell as warm up to holidayPublish date: 2009-07-20 17:44:49
No hiding place from Twitter, me on the bike, JP in DCPublish date: 2009-07-17 18:17:09
At last - something Obama cannot do wellPublish date: 2009-07-16 10:05:47
Will MPs take the lead in the debate on euthanasia?Publish date: 2009-07-15 12:30:01
Berlin brothel leads the way to a greener worldPublish date: 2009-07-14 10:57:25
A time for GB to explain the whole picturePublish date: 2009-07-13 12:37:54
All hail Monty, Jimmy and Collie!Publish date: 2009-07-12 20:06:36
First triathlon of the summer for me, education award for FionaPublish date: 2009-07-12 09:43:06
Of Burnley's friendly and Obama's wandering eyePublish date: 2009-07-11 12:38:52
Two great early morning momentsPublish date: 2009-07-10 10:27:07
Cameron had better be sure he's rightPublish date: 2009-07-09 11:06:22
Guardian scoop has big questions for press, cops and CameronPublish date: 2009-07-08 20:40:54
Divisive legend: Lance ArmstrongPublish date: 2009-07-07 10:38:23
First hug a hoodie, now grab a gayPublish date: 2009-07-06 12:57:09
Mail on Scumday's wonderful account of Lansley's kipperdomPublish date: 2009-07-05 13:14:51
Ecclestone undermines his own success with alarming views on HitlerPublish date: 2009-07-04 14:04:04
When the conmen move more quickly than the councilPublish date: 2009-07-03 10:19:52
Andrew Lansley done up like a kipperPublish date: 2009-07-02 10:10:52
A day spent interviewing footballers, then being interviewed by a transvestite comedianPublish date: 2009-07-01 14:47:40
When the power of black eyes fadesPublish date: 2009-06-30 09:24:59
Farewell to Henry HodgePublish date: 2009-06-29 20:41:12
Honouring the power of sport to do goodPublish date: 2009-06-29 14:49:42
Andy Murray is a winner. Is that why some Brits don't like him?Publish date: 2009-06-28 09:19:20
New Parliament will look very different. The younger the betterPublish date: 2009-06-27 17:34:26
Two nice surprises, sad end to dayPublish date: 2009-06-26 09:16:33
Apology from the Spectator on Iraq boosts Henry Hodge fundPublish date: 2009-06-25 19:57:26
Thanks to Mr Harper on mental health, rebuttal of Mr Hague on IraqPublish date: 2009-06-24 23:47:54
Glad to find Eric Cantona in a quiet cinema ...Publish date: 2009-06-24 00:46:23
By Dave's friends shall we know him?Publish date: 2009-06-23 11:30:20
The Speaker has to balance tradition and change - but defend ParliamentPublish date: 2009-06-22 11:58:44
Less a blog than an apology for not having done onePublish date: 2009-06-21 20:07:43
The day Lions skipper Paul O'Connell took my trousers downPublish date: 2009-06-20 11:48:28
On the Iraq inquiry, Independent article wrongPublish date: 2009-06-19 20:28:24
Thank you to three readers, now please get involvedPublish date: 2009-06-19 09:13:35
A tribute to a lovely manPublish date: 2009-06-18 17:19:40
Bad times in Belfast, great day for Burnley, odd statement from Ed BallsPublish date: 2009-06-18 10:04:47
A plea for five-figure cyber-donationsPublish date: 2009-06-17 07:40:42
On two inquiriesPublish date: 2009-06-16 08:57:39
From India to Iran to Labour witPublish date: 2009-06-15 10:13:17
Memories of Princess DianaPublish date: 2009-06-14 09:54:55
A House Divided?Publish date: 2009-06-13 02:53:47
A humbling NHS experience, a media row and a good GB speechPublish date: 2009-06-12 10:48:46
Psychiatrists heading for relegation in 'disease prestige' league tablePublish date: 2009-06-11 10:25:35
The shrinks awaitPublish date: 2009-06-10 09:44:16
As Obama fights for healthcare, let's celebrate the record herePublish date: 2009-06-09 12:52:55
Anger at BNP seats must be turned into activismPublish date: 2009-06-08 14:11:10
Can today be as frenzied as Friday?Publish date: 2009-06-07 10:31:04
Take heart from a win in LambethPublish date: 2009-06-06 18:46:40
JP is right there was no proper campaign but Tories still weakPublish date: 2009-06-05 13:47:20
Do we care more about the NHS or moats?Publish date: 2009-06-04 00:21:23
Guardian of social justice or attention-seeker?Publish date: 2009-06-03 10:19:33
Who says Britain can't deliver the best?Publish date: 2009-06-02 08:08:38
Mainstream has a duty to vote against BNPPublish date: 2009-06-01 11:03:29
Let Diversity inspire a vote against the hate-filled BNPPublish date: 2009-05-31 12:24:20
White House whack at UK media well-timed but sure to be ignoredPublish date: 2009-05-30 13:41:00
Elvis has a plan to make MPs King againPublish date: 2009-05-29 12:09:44
At least there's a campaign on in ItalyPublish date: 2009-05-28 09:04:32
A blow to gay rights and a boost for Cameron's short-termismPublish date: 2009-05-27 11:27:41
It's my blog and I'll be a big kid if I want toPublish date: 2009-05-26 23:25:58
Highs feel better after so many lowsPublish date: 2009-05-26 10:13:12
Only one present countsPublish date: 2009-05-25 11:05:46
Contrast Cheney and BushPublish date: 2009-05-24 12:11:45
Sex (or at least the female form) obsessed BritainPublish date: 2009-05-23 20:49:57
Sport at both ends of the financial spectrumPublish date: 2009-05-23 09:57:23
Stronger together - whether Scotland or expensesPublish date: 2009-05-22 10:22:36
Back to Number 10, familiar faces, familiar argumentsPublish date: 2009-05-21 10:14:34
Speaking up for ParliamentPublish date: 2009-05-20 11:44:17
Peace in the Middle East - yes he canPublish date: 2009-05-19 09:37:35
Breaking news - one frenzy at a timePublish date: 2009-05-18 10:34:30
Getting a good look at Vince CablePublish date: 2009-05-17 09:36:55
How do you solve a problem like Silvio?Publish date: 2009-05-16 09:32:21
It was the internet wot won itPublish date: 2009-05-15 10:04:57
There now follows ... a good whack at CameronPublish date: 2009-05-14 17:21:28
They got their kit off - so you get your cash outPublish date: 2009-05-14 07:41:11
Expenses row must not obscure Tory intentions on minimum wagePublish date: 2009-05-13 16:12:08
We love you Burnley, we do ... what a nightPublish date: 2009-05-13 02:37:17
A tweet cannot express the wonders of TGVPublish date: 2009-05-12 08:48:31
It's Mind week - Get it off your Chest with me and Stephen FryPublish date: 2009-05-11 06:29:15
Hate the Mail, love ObamaPublish date: 2009-05-10 10:04:00
Burnley 1 Reading 0 - a biased reportPublish date: 2009-05-09 21:26:32
MPs expenses - time for party leaders to meet againPublish date: 2009-05-09 09:50:19
Should happiness replace prosperity as national goal?Publish date: 2009-05-08 08:43:23
Musings from a sleepless nightPublish date: 2009-05-07 07:33:49
Darren Fletcher - an injustice that has to be rightedPublish date: 2009-05-06 09:52:29
Maggie's legacy not as great as she thinksPublish date: 2009-05-05 08:33:02
Here's hoping Cardiff is metaphor for CameronPublish date: 2009-05-04 09:38:30
More Mr Benn and Co pleasePublish date: 2009-05-03 10:03:00
Going Fourth with JPPublish date: 2009-05-02 18:25:41
Journalism - print first, think laterPublish date: 2009-05-02 09:10:01
In praise of two poetsPublish date: 2009-05-01 10:26:36
JP hits the road againPublish date: 2009-04-29 18:52:11
My night with Eddie IzzardPublish date: 2009-04-29 10:53:25
Explaining the 50p top tax ratePublish date: 2009-04-28 09:22:53
George Best and Martin McGuinnessPublish date: 2009-04-27 09:02:35
Cameron confused over indepdendence and impartialityPublish date: 2009-04-26 12:20:56
Guide ro Marathon running part 2Publish date: 2009-04-25 11:01:34
Good signals on coal and the OlympicsPublish date: 2009-04-24 10:45:28
Tips for the London MarathonPublish date: 2009-04-23 17:29:27
Missed the Budget, saw why it matteredPublish date: 2009-04-22 23:09:31
Football good, politics bad. AllegedlyPublish date: 2009-04-22 00:00:24
The Great Wall gets greaterPublish date: 2009-04-21 09:55:22
Two sides to police storyPublish date: 2009-04-20 11:39:54
Budgets, Balls, billionaires and Susan BoylePublish date: 2009-04-19 12:31:45
Do muscles have memories?Publish date: 2009-04-18 09:44:44
Bring back standing at footballPublish date: 2009-04-17 14:50:22
When Facebook friends fall outPublish date: 2009-04-16 12:29:16
Guardian sightings and the email and bath plug agendaPublish date: 2009-04-15 11:32:16
The spin is all in the prismPublish date: 2009-04-14 09:22:41
A setback, not a crisisPublish date: 2009-04-13 12:55:19
The real lessons from Damian McBridePublish date: 2009-04-12 10:49:47
Will English always be the dominant language?Publish date: 2009-04-11 10:02:02
On the pipes and what makes a ScotPublish date: 2009-04-10 11:06:20
John Prescott lazy? NO WAYPublish date: 2009-04-09 09:11:31
David Frost is seventyPublish date: 2009-04-08 08:48:38
The Speaker, BBC2, tonight and tomorrow 8pmPublish date: 2009-04-07 14:25:31
Obama, colds and being woken by Korean missilesPublish date: 2009-04-06 11:59:24
When a call matters more than protocolPublish date: 2009-04-05 11:33:42
Green Cities Champions LeaguePublish date: 2009-04-04 10:19:53
Could Cameron have delivered the G20 deal?Publish date: 2009-04-03 10:11:59
Of Benn and BonoPublish date: 2009-04-02 08:21:16
Memo to Sarko - allez vite a LondresPublish date: 2009-04-01 08:46:17
Happy April Fool's DayPublish date: 2009-04-01 01:44:05
Eurostar, Le Monde and a thought for the G20 sherpasPublish date: 2009-03-31 09:17:22
Why Kevin Rudd made an impactPublish date: 2009-03-30 10:24:41
Pre-G20 hype matters less than post-G20 processPublish date: 2009-03-29 13:17:28
The Damned UnitedPublish date: 2009-03-28 10:37:04
A hobby horse, a plug and a bit of sportPublish date: 2009-03-27 10:22:23
Cloughie - he had a lot to be big-headed aboutPublish date: 2009-03-26 09:38:36
A sad sight of the old fearing the youngPublish date: 2009-03-25 17:03:07
Post-modern, post-structural, or bullshit?Publish date: 2009-03-25 08:18:02
Learning the right lessons from ObamaPublish date: 2009-03-24 08:53:15
Lazy Dave needs to keep an eye on lazy KenPublish date: 2009-03-23 11:16:14
Farewell favourite restaurant, hello hometownPublish date: 2009-03-22 08:18:09
Dave, Danny and have the Tories really changed?Publish date: 2009-03-21 08:55:13
Life beyond Dover ...Publish date: 2009-03-20 10:11:21
My friends in The New Statesman - Fergie, Fiona, Tony, Sarah, Kevin, 'Dacre,' and a great GB idea for the G20Publish date: 2009-03-18 10:38:22
Iraq, Iran, GB, Obama and diplomatic chessPublish date: 2009-03-17 10:07:13
The Age of StupidPublish date: 2009-03-16 08:27:13
Is all change good?Publish date: 2009-03-15 10:00:06
The pressure of being a post-modern sex godPublish date: 2009-03-14 10:00:55
Cameron still hasn't sealed the deal with businessPublish date: 2009-03-13 09:21:49
Stand up for social workersPublish date: 2009-03-12 08:31:17
Surely Malcolm Tucker could have told Armando Ianucci ... You can't spin a spinnerPublish date: 2009-03-11 10:58:25
Start of a new approach from Labour?Publish date: 2009-03-10 09:54:12
A peace process still strongPublish date: 2009-03-09 08:21:05
Day of destiny for the real footballer of the yearPublish date: 2009-03-08 09:21:06
Private advice to Peggy Mitchell - the leaked note in fullPublish date: 2009-03-07 08:17:21
Boris, the Tories and the tummy-tickling poodle pressPublish date: 2009-03-06 09:49:37
A day in the life of the self-obsessed TV reporterPublish date: 2009-03-05 07:55:47
GB - good speech, well deliveredPublish date: 2009-03-04 19:31:05
Notes on the environment, a role in EastEndersPublish date: 2009-03-04 10:58:56
Some speeches matter more than othersPublish date: 2009-03-02 12:04:45
Mental health and the Carling Cup FinalPublish date: 2009-03-01 09:08:17
Inside the chocolate factoryPublish date: 2009-02-28 10:23:59
GB on the G20, JP on Jeremy KylePublish date: 2009-02-27 09:14:36
Charity and the credit crunch, please give generously!Publish date: 2009-02-26 08:55:12
Why oh why are the Tories not home and dry?Publish date: 2009-02-24 09:44:59
Me, Dermot and ten top songsPublish date: 2009-02-23 10:02:19
Names round-upPublish date: 2009-02-22 08:43:39
What's in a name?Publish date: 2009-02-21 09:58:14
Editing the New StatesmanPublish date: 2009-02-20 11:42:36
Salute Peter M’s proper use of the F wordPublish date: 2009-02-19 09:58:58
Labour's communications challenge for the NHSPublish date: 2009-02-18 10:34:39
In praise of KeighleyPublish date: 2009-02-17 14:33:57
A night at the EmiratesPublish date: 2009-02-17 00:06:51
When marriage is testedPublish date: 2009-02-16 13:36:35
Spare me the myths and the whiningPublish date: 2009-02-15 13:29:50
Dave Cameron - is that all there is?Publish date: 2009-02-14 11:11:55
Boris Johnson: F is for ...Publish date: 2009-02-13 07:55:10
The Cameron vacuumPublish date: 2009-02-12 14:48:33
Lincoln, Obama, Blair and the 24 hour media culturePublish date: 2009-02-11 10:28:47
Eighteen interviews later ...Publish date: 2009-02-10 19:24:45
Time to talk about Time to Change on NewsnightPublish date: 2009-02-09 22:47:49
So that’s what they mean by online community?Publish date: 2009-02-08 12:12:51
First blogPublish date: 2009-02-05 15:23:57
Joanne Sheppard
2009-03-03 22:35:43I don't think this a gender issue. Apart from cooking, mowing the lawn and assembling a flatpacked item of furniture about once every three years, I am largely incapable of household chores. Well, not so much as incapable as unaware. I don't notice that washing up needs to be done until there are literally no more clean plates, or that bins need to be emptied while it is still possible to close the lid, or that ironing needs to be done... um... ever. This means that every time my boyfriend (partner? common law husband? Never quite sure what to call him) has to go away for a few days, the house degenerates into chaos and squalor within an hour or two of his departure. He's been known to come home and discover that I have inadvertently left wet clothes in the washing machine, and that they have gone mouldy.
On the other hand, while he is excellent at domestic stuff, he goes into a blind panic at the first sign of any minor hiccup involving computers, whereas I'm at least semi-competent on that score.
Talking of which... if you're having problems with Listen Again, it might be because your browser is set not to enable plug-ins. If you're using Internet Explorer 6 or above, try going to Tools, then selecting Manage Add-ons. That brings up a list of extra stuff that you can add to your browser to make it do interesting things. Look for RealPlayer, or RealPlayer Active X Control, and check that it's enabled. If it's disabled, select it by clicking on it, then click 'Enable'.
mikey
2009-03-03 19:11:15Hi Ali....sorry Burnley were screwed in the Carling Cup....about the dishwasher? Remember Dziadek Donald's system..."You'll wash,He'll dry. " Rememeber my b'day on the 11 th....Mikey
Erica Braithwaite
2009-03-03 18:34:04I think you should get Bono and Geldoff to organise a fundraising concert to endow every household in the UK with a dishwasher. It would halve the divorce rate. The concert could be called Rinse Aid.
Katie
2009-03-03 18:01:23If you want to find out more, we (her publishers) have launched a website for the book. http://www.theworkingmotheronline.co.uk
Liz Main
2009-03-03 16:53:56It's most certainly not a woman - man thing.... I am genetically untidy (my excuse, but seems to apply to the entire family, male and female) and rely on my husband to do everything except cook and iron. Not sure that he could change a tyre, but he's very good at all the rest. Especially making the bed. As for the dishwasher thing - it's a mystery to me. I do load it, but I've no idea if I'm doing it right.
Cate C
2009-03-03 16:46:58What advice do you have for a career focussed woman, who cannot manage housework, partnered with a career-focussed man similarly housework-challenged? Can't get a housekeeper; too poor and too socialist. I fear we are condemned to live in intellectually stimulating squalor.
Hadleigh Roberts
2009-03-03 16:31:59At least you have a dishwasher! We actually have to do the washing and drying ourselves...
Alina Palimaru
2009-03-03 15:52:12I do hope that this unpleasant public turf war shows a need to re-think traditional roles in society. Alastair, you are right to defend yourself for (not) doing the dishes, replacing bulbs etc just as Fiona is right to reap praise for handling her career and/or housework. It's all about choice and one's wish to comply with the terms of a partnership. But I am rather disturbed by women who are fiercely defending their domestic territory. This will only re-enforce male expectations for women to stick with it. These roles are not innate, but constructed. And we cannot talk our way out of something into which we behaved. I am a 24/7 fiercely career-oriented type of woman, but also do my own dishes, laundry and ironing, replace bulbs, and even advised a poor fellow down the hall on how to unclog his sink (Jesus, dude!!).
I am my own trouble-shooter, and if I think it's worth it, I may decide to live with a man who can't do any of this. But the last time I told a guy about my terms, he asked me if I had any morals, and then dismissed the whole thing with the cheapest shot: "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" (i.e. I am not putting up with this attitude, but will pretend to until I get what I want). My response was: "why buy the entire pig for just a tiny sausage?"
Robson Stroud
2009-03-03 15:37:39Tough on grime, tough on the causes of grime!
(thank you! I'm here all week! Try the fish!)
Raphael
2009-03-03 14:54:16Actually, that aspect of you was quite apparent in the Comic Relief Apprentice show you did, no? If I remeber correctly you did not know how to change the staplers in a stapler...
AC 'The People's Dishwasher'
2009-03-03 14:13:07Some very good soundbites being posted by my Facebook friends rallying to my cause as FM continues to exploit my name and reputation in shameless pursuit of book-plugging on Mumsnet.
'Tough on grime, tough on the causes of grime.'
'We don't do dishes.'
'I don't miss the microwave and hoover. I do miss ... what do I miss. I do miss the dishwasher.'
I've added a couple 'Ask me my three priorities for the future and I tell you - dishwashing, dishwashing, dishwashing.'
'What's wrong with a bogstandard sink and scouring brush?'
'The People's Dishwasher'
Judith Haire
2009-03-03 13:44:00This is a storm in a teacup as far as I can see. Rise above it AC! You're a bloke and that's all there is to it, I've found the Listen Again thingy to be unreliable - I don't think it's you.
clare mccarthy
2009-03-03 12:52:34If anyone in our house loads the dishwasher,my husband rearranges it ! Hows that for having a well trained partner, even if it does drive us all mad ! Ps. He is also very good at ironing
Jo Christie-Smith
2009-03-03 12:32:53Hmmm...what she needs to do is focus on the outcomes.
From the start I made sure my workaholic, political lobbyist, partner understood that the cook does not do the washing up. And I'm the cook.
This was painful to start with as said partner was not used to dishwashers but in the end, after giving a few pointers, I just left him to it - finding it easier just not to look, frankly - and instead just focus on whether the plates and glasses I get out of the cupboard are clean or not.
He may well have put them the right way up in the dishwasher, etc, etc but he's responsible for getting the things clean, not solely putting them in the dishwasher.
It's the focus on activity, rather than outcomes, that has made many Govt targets fail to make things better.
(Sorry, didn't mean to make a political point, but couldn't help myself).
Wera Hobhouse
2009-03-03 12:14:55I allow my husband to make the bed occasionally and try not to make it again. It's called empowerment. But he has been slow in improving his skills over the last 20 years.
I think it's lack of motivation. Maybe he needs some sort of community champion. I wonder whether he actually WANTS to do the job properly.
Julia Braun
2009-03-03 12:13:09That really brightened up a rather bleak morning, thanks! My girlfriend was asking why the hell I was laughing so much. :)
I hate housework and whole-heartedly agree that it takes time away from much more important things such as writing (occasionally), reading (a lot) and brooding (mostly).
A few years ago, I used to be quite neat, but nowadays, I leave all housework until I can't ignore it any longer because I'm tripping over it. Unsurprisingly, my girlfriend disapproves.
Gabrielle L-P
2009-03-03 11:59:49ROB - I would say that ACs blog has already "taken off"
Rob Atkins
2009-03-03 11:52:22Alastair - your blog needs a catchy title if it's really going to take off. How about "Fiddling while the country burns" or "Reflections on life from a champagne socialist" ?
Gabrielle L-P
2009-03-03 11:47:11Alastair this can all be explained by the fact that you are an uncompromising, workaholic, Alfa Male of a certain age/generation (Not a criticism, just a statement). Having said that Fiona did know what she was taking on. She also stated on W H that she had enabled you to fall into this pattern over the years. This behaviour is set early in life; it is not too late for your sons though!
liz biddle
2009-03-03 11:33:41Alastair...your wife and I are definitely married to the same man...you may look different on the outside but that doesn't fool me. The last time my husband attempted to get something out of the dishwasher he cut his hand three times...and then blamed me !!!! All of this just adds to my theory that the grass is never greener on the other side so you might as well stick with what you have (except in exteme circumstances of course).
Mark Bennett
2009-03-03 11:27:57I can vouch that you can indeed stack a dishwasher, having seen you do it. Though it must be said my partner routinely rearranges the dishwasher if I've stacked it.
Karen Redman
2009-03-03 11:16:20At least no one need tell you not to wash your dirty laundry in public ... that's just not going to happen, is it? I've found in my limited experience that there's one thing worse than a husband who can't (or won't) load dishwashers or washing machines and that's one who can! The results of over-eager husband's attempts at domesticity are far more likely to bring us to the brink of divorce than if he would just PLEASE LEAVE THINGS ALONE!
Mark Hendy
2009-03-03 11:05:53Alastair, I'd a woman - man thing. All women are genetically programmed to believe they know best how to stack a dishwasher, along with the genetic predisposition to moan and berate men about it. My advice is to back off slowly avoiding eye contact and occasionally muttering "yes dear"
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