Comments
Memo to Apple boss Steve Jobs
2009-09-13 17:36:31
Memo to SJ
From AC
re: earphones
Great to see you looking so well after your liver transplant, and well done on all the new products. Can't say I understand them all, but judging by the fact you made the top trends on Twitter, even as you were speaking, it is clear the SJ magic is still going strong.
However, I was wondering when you would apply your considerable genius to the most pressing technological question I currently face - namely how to get my ipod earphones to stay in my ears when I'm out running. It's all very well having all the whizzbangery in the machine itself, but if you can't keep the earphones in, it is meaningless.
I have tried every type going, to no avail. I've taken to covering them with sellotape, but once the sweat is flowing, it all gets a bit sticky and messy.
Music matters to athletes, you know that. Look at all those footballers getting off the team bus with their earphones plugged in. And it matters more to slow long-distance runners than it does to the fast ones. It's alright for Paula Ratcliffe, or Haile Gebreselassie. They can get a marathon done in not much more than two hours, but for mortals, you can be out there all day, and esepcially when training you need the psychological lift that only music can deliver.
I'm fine when I'm running steady and straight. But it is when I suddenly have to turn my head or body, or up my pace, that they keep popping out. Then I lose my temper and when my temper goes, so does my rhythm, and then I've had it.
Don't turn your head or body then, I hear you say ... but Steve, just as I'm sure you have passers-by shouting out to you when you're out and about, urging you to get well, thanking you for all the amazing advances you have made in technology, I get the same thing, you know, taxi drivers winding down the window and yelling out 'hey Alastair, when are we going to see that David Cameron shown up as the lightweight toff that he is?' or strangers shouting across the road to thank me for helping TB to get rid of the Tories in the first place, not to mention all the people who want to express their gratitude for all the improvements in public services under Labour ... then there are all the thumbs up and shouts of 'good luck to Burnley, mate.' That's my soccer team. You may have seen the big piece the New York Times did about them recently. I suppose for the sake of balance I ought to say I also get the odd funny look, and a bit of criticism, but you probably know about that too.
Anyway, I know you're busy, but if you could put your mind to the earphone problem, I and lots of other runners would be really grateful.
Also, I know it is not really a technological issue, but any thoughts you have on bleeding nipples would be handy too. I mean, what is the point of the male nipple? You never hear of men wanting a nipple transplant, do you? I did just under two hours today, in training for the Great North Run next week, and as if my earphone-popouts weren't bad enough, towards the end I was getting even more funny looks than I was getting shouts of support for New Labour would you believe, because I had two large red blobs on my white running top. Horrible. Messy. Worse than sweat and sellotape.
That's all for now. Let me know how you go on. And good luck.
Archive
Darling credible, Mandy exciting, Tories panicking over adsPublish date: 2010-03-25 11:21:25
Today is all about credibilityPublish date: 2010-03-24 09:38:11
Obama's win good news for politics everywherePublish date: 2010-03-23 10:11:13
I take my hat off to a genius brieferPublish date: 2010-03-22 17:21:23
With Hague disabled, Labour team v Tory team even more importantPublish date: 2010-03-19 11:43:25
Tory lack of clarity gets candidates jitteringPublish date: 2010-03-18 10:12:25
Is Kate Winslet's split more important than Michael Foot's funeral?Publish date: 2010-03-17 11:38:52
Why Sir Trevor did no favours for CameronPublish date: 2010-03-16 10:57:18
Support the Street Kids World CupPublish date: 2010-03-15 11:25:17
Bumping into Peter M on the fundraising campaign trailPublish date: 2010-03-14 00:27:35
Adonis shows the way on transport, and debatesPublish date: 2010-03-12 12:22:05
The record needs a better hearing - Labour and ToryPublish date: 2010-03-11 08:50:51
What happened to the detoxification of the Tory brand?Publish date: 2010-03-06 12:00:38
Support, activism and hope returning to LabourPublish date: 2010-03-05 09:46:34
Happy Birthday Lord Ashcroft HB2UPublish date: 2010-03-04 10:59:48
Michael Foot ... above all else a lovely manPublish date: 2010-03-03 14:22:46
Elvis support for Labour lifts the mood furtherPublish date: 2010-03-03 10:16:30
Hoovergate - the rebuttal amid hope of Labour winPublish date: 2010-03-02 13:00:35
At least Britney knows what she is singing aboutPublish date: 2010-03-01 10:57:28
News blackout on Olympian success storyPublish date: 2010-02-28 14:52:49
Kseniya Simonova's got talentPublish date: 2010-02-27 21:14:58
Debate expectations in a good place for GB and CleggPublish date: 2010-02-26 10:21:53
We all agree - Carlisle is cleverer than DCPublish date: 2010-02-25 11:59:11
On News International phone-hacking and CameronPublish date: 2010-02-24 09:40:08
GB, temper or not, a better leader for Britain than DCPublish date: 2010-02-23 10:24:48
Cameron inquiry call says more about him than GBPublish date: 2010-02-22 15:15:59
Some great stuff in The Observer todayPublish date: 2010-02-21 11:00:46
Game definitely on. If polls narrow more, Tory jitters set inPublish date: 2010-02-20 14:35:40
Cameron so right about pigs in pokesPublish date: 2010-02-19 09:12:50
How twitter is changing balance of power in film indsutryPublish date: 2010-02-18 12:00:19
Thanks for the thanks. Is online shopping not always like this?Publish date: 2010-02-17 10:44:30
There'll be another New Big Idea along in a momentPublish date: 2010-02-16 09:53:22
People may listen more to the political GB having heard the personal GBPublish date: 2010-02-15 13:11:57
Happy Valentine's Day. My present to you is Jacques BrelPublish date: 2010-02-14 12:06:54
A celeb fest in my weekend of culturePublish date: 2010-02-13 10:38:58
Alan Johnson right to stand up for security servicesPublish date: 2010-02-12 14:27:56
Time to turn up volume on sport schools revolutionPublish date: 2010-02-11 10:17:54
Let's give Cameron a Doris Day moment over AshcroftPublish date: 2010-02-10 10:29:05
Time for Maya's voice to be heard amid the non-tearsPublish date: 2010-02-09 09:04:22
Marr needs to explain his 'sexed up' question re casualtiesPublish date: 2010-02-08 13:55:36
On GB's tears with Piers, and my emotional moment with MarrPublish date: 2010-02-07 16:04:56
On NI, Tory fears of Labour spinsters, and headbands in sportPublish date: 2010-02-06 10:00:25
Daily Mail tells truth shock horrorPublish date: 2010-02-05 08:54:36
Welcome to the virtual Maya launch partyPublish date: 2010-02-04 10:38:44
Public ahead of press on the mess that is CameronPublish date: 2010-02-03 13:52:26
Cameron winning on media support but losing on leadershipPublish date: 2010-02-02 10:47:50
Buy The Blair Years and raise cash for LabourPublish date: 2010-02-01 09:00:00
A lesson in campaign mindset from young Labour studentsPublish date: 2010-01-31 13:14:19
Media tweets show the real agendaPublish date: 2010-01-29 21:18:59
TB made a judgement, and is defending it wellPublish date: 2010-01-29 14:04:38
On inequality, special advisers, Ireland, and TB/IraqPublish date: 2010-01-28 13:45:08
Message machine Mandelson on form todayPublish date: 2010-01-27 12:15:42
Only one place to be tonightPublish date: 2010-01-26 09:20:26
Cameron and tweeting ought to be natural fitPublish date: 2010-01-25 11:55:58
Big bucks campaigning not what it's cracked out to bePublish date: 2010-01-24 10:28:57
A life in unemployment statisticsPublish date: 2010-01-22 09:39:21
Learning the wrong Iraq lessons for Afghan warPublish date: 2010-01-21 10:24:46
Denis MacShane MP on the rewriting of history re Iraq warPublish date: 2010-01-20 10:44:07
Darling v Gove, Osborne and help the rich squad is No ContestPublish date: 2010-01-19 10:12:27
Dacre's DownfallPublish date: 2010-01-18 03:30:21
Rebutting the good and the bad, and support from football fansPublish date: 2010-01-17 12:45:38
Mandela is a great man, Invictus a great filmPublish date: 2010-01-16 08:54:48
Is Paul Dacre hiding a guilty secret that explains his deranged paper?Publish date: 2010-01-15 09:56:24
What's the real fight to be had?Publish date: 2010-01-14 10:20:20
On Owen Coyle and Brian LawsPublish date: 2010-01-13 18:27:58
Thanks to friend and foe alike for helping yesterday go byPublish date: 2010-01-13 08:49:25
So far so good in campaign to remove discriminatory lawPublish date: 2010-01-11 09:48:15
Thanks to Will Hutton for talking sense on 'class war'Publish date: 2010-01-10 12:56:48
In defence of airbrushed postersPublish date: 2010-01-09 16:45:29
Fire is always best turned on the ToriesPublish date: 2010-01-07 15:41:19
On Hoon-Hewitt and John PrescottPublish date: 2010-01-07 00:55:10
Sad and baffled to see Coyle goPublish date: 2010-01-05 16:26:05
Cameron's wobble the product of his team saying what their audiences want to hearPublish date: 2010-01-05 10:50:58
New Tory slogan - if you've got the cash, splash it on crap adsPublish date: 2010-01-02 12:11:18
And the musicians of the decade were ... The Beatles and The KingPublish date: 2009-12-31 18:52:25
Prepare for avalanche of Ashcroft posters for ToriesPublish date: 2009-12-30 15:06:06
Here's Good Luck to you, Mrs RobinsonPublish date: 2009-12-29 12:22:42
One man's White Christmas joy is another's football disasterPublish date: 2009-12-24 13:36:05
My favourite fact of the day - a French decimal time systemPublish date: 2009-12-23 16:48:00
A few crisis management tips for EurostarPublish date: 2009-12-22 11:49:35
Do we need same approach to booze as smoking?Publish date: 2009-12-19 09:13:28
Prepare for tears, tantrums and an imperfect but miraculous Copenhagen conclusionPublish date: 2009-12-18 10:23:03
London 2012 and Copenhagen today ... different approaches to tight deadlinesPublish date: 2009-12-16 11:13:21
Tiger cut off at the knees. I bet he'll be backPublish date: 2009-12-14 11:03:17
Cameron Shameron on the need for new laws to clarify Ashcroft tax statusPublish date: 2009-12-13 17:06:56
When poor mental health creates great art ...Publish date: 2009-12-12 15:21:13
Giggs gets my Sports Personality vote, but I'll miss the big momentPublish date: 2009-12-11 13:56:15
Tough day for Labour, but tough questions for Tories tooPublish date: 2009-12-10 10:03:13
Alistair Darling's quiet authority key part of recovery.Publish date: 2009-12-09 11:03:25
Clegg risks squeeze as election nearsPublish date: 2009-12-08 15:30:58
Copenhagen really matters. Guardian front page sets scene wellPublish date: 2009-12-07 10:26:33
Four years on, what do we think of Cameron's leadership?Publish date: 2009-12-06 13:55:17
Boris and Waddles, an everyday tale of Tory croneyismPublish date: 2009-12-05 09:53:35
The Speaker's wife is a credit to him, and spot on about Cameron's ToryismPublish date: 2009-12-04 10:52:37
PMQs win for GB was a direct result of Cameron's strategic failurePublish date: 2009-12-03 08:21:10
Cameron's conkers add to his problem with serious opinionPublish date: 2009-12-02 10:59:45
Sarko at risk of riling Obama and GB. Cameron on conkersPublish date: 2009-12-01 10:29:48
The life and death of the man who made the link between exercise and healthPublish date: 2009-11-28 11:37:29
Even top Tories think Dave and Co can't do piss up in a breweryPublish date: 2009-11-27 20:51:29
Well done BBC Inside Sport. Shame on media for news blackout on Coulson bullying casePublish date: 2009-11-26 13:59:57
Well done BBC in Mental Health Media awards. Looking forward to Inside Sport on depression tonightPublish date: 2009-11-25 10:26:22
BBC main bulletin blackout on leaders' speeches bizarrePublish date: 2009-11-24 10:17:48
Business right to be worried about Tory axe on RDAsPublish date: 2009-11-23 10:17:12
Why should Brown and Cameron apologise for being seen to pay tribute to the war dead?Publish date: 2009-11-22 11:12:38
Beware climate change denial dressed up as 'commonsense'Publish date: 2009-11-21 12:54:27
Something for the weekend - a long lazy blog lifted from interviewsPublish date: 2009-11-20 12:35:23
If France and FIFA won't act on Thierry Henry, let's have a boycott of Gillette razorsPublish date: 2009-11-19 10:09:00
Never in the history of human taxation has so much been promised from so many to so fewPublish date: 2009-11-18 18:32:39
Tories far from 'effete and unfamiliar' when it comes to twisted tax prioritiesPublish date: 2009-11-18 09:52:12
Two very different stories of depressionPublish date: 2009-11-17 17:17:11
Congrats to Ellie on PPB campaign, and Willy Hague on getting van RompuyPublish date: 2009-11-17 11:40:14
Private schools worse than State schools - unless it's drugs you're after. DiscussPublish date: 2009-11-16 12:10:25
Fiona Millar 5 Toby Young 0Publish date: 2009-11-15 13:18:38
Where we fight we winPublish date: 2009-11-13 11:22:00
Good luck to Number 10 on 'lobby' review. And a big NO to the other PRPublish date: 2009-11-12 14:39:11
Robert Enke RIP. May his death increase understanding of depressionPublish date: 2009-11-11 17:59:53
On the exploitation of grief to get GordonPublish date: 2009-11-11 08:59:01
Why Tories are not home and dry, and wrong to call GB callousPublish date: 2009-11-10 13:00:20
Labour needs more of the winning mentalityPublish date: 2009-11-09 10:30:44
The scandal of friendship and the shame of Who Wants to be a Millionaire?Publish date: 2009-11-07 10:53:53
US clarity of strategy required for full explanation on AfghanistanPublish date: 2009-11-06 10:31:48
Just because he is French doesn't mean he's wrongPublish date: 2009-11-05 10:58:46
Congratulations to David Cameron and Trevor KavanaghPublish date: 2009-11-04 10:34:36
Is there a Sun blackout on Cameron's dumping of 'cast iron guarantee' on Europe?Publish date: 2009-11-03 20:37:04
Johnson seems to get it on immigration. Right on advisors advising tooPublish date: 2009-11-03 11:58:59
Public opinion on climate change - the public might be the problemPublish date: 2009-11-02 11:37:23
In praise of Stephen Fry, who should tweet or not as he sees fitPublish date: 2009-11-01 09:29:34
John Sergeant spot on re TB. TB's Olympics legacy. Liam Gallagher's generosityPublish date: 2009-10-30 11:50:44
Conservative contortions on Europe and BlairPublish date: 2009-10-29 11:44:12
Two-jobs Osborne suffering credibility deficitPublish date: 2009-10-28 09:14:22
Canaries win AC spin award with dark nights productivity surveyPublish date: 2009-10-27 09:41:48
Blair - dead big in Japan!Publish date: 2009-10-26 17:21:17
No complacency, variants on a themePublish date: 2009-10-24 09:48:46
Griffin may have been dreadful, but there can be no complacencyPublish date: 2009-10-23 11:57:29
Margaret Hodge MP on how to fight the BNPPublish date: 2009-10-22 16:48:39
Thanks to Charlie Falconer and Dominic Grieve - yes, I know he is a ToryPublish date: 2009-10-21 17:24:18
On Biscuitgate, barmy Tory policy, and BNP v GeneralsPublish date: 2009-10-21 10:36:15
More on Obergruppenfuhrer Dacre, Biscuitgate and Bullingdon ConservatismPublish date: 2009-10-20 12:16:37
Biscuitgate and Susan Boyle, no win territory for GBPublish date: 2009-10-19 12:31:00
Hating the Mail - a mindset worth havingPublish date: 2009-10-17 11:28:12
A line by line guide to the Mail statement on Gately article outragePublish date: 2009-10-16 19:12:36
Hit the Mail where it hurtsPublish date: 2009-10-16 16:36:02
Talking Cameron and Obama with US Democrats. Progressive Convervatism? No, he can'tPublish date: 2009-10-16 10:02:40
Inspired by kids' green passionPublish date: 2009-10-14 18:24:13
Good news on leukaemia, good news on student activismPublish date: 2009-10-13 08:24:21
Musings from Bertie Ahern, and how I won the Nobel prize for literaturePublish date: 2009-10-12 09:26:18
Continuing double standards in the mediaPublish date: 2009-10-11 11:36:21
The best policies in Cameron's speech were those of Labour Big GovernmentPublish date: 2009-10-08 17:07:40
Tongues slipping all over the placePublish date: 2009-10-08 09:00:07
Cameron confuses strategy and tactics and puts Union at riskPublish date: 2009-10-07 10:29:26
Osborne inspires apathy at BBC LeedsPublish date: 2009-10-06 16:01:59
Let's see more of the Tory candidates pleasePublish date: 2009-10-06 09:23:11
Labour needs to fight on record to stop Tory vandalismPublish date: 2009-10-05 14:28:40
VacuDave goes all peevish at difficult questions. Bring on the debatesPublish date: 2009-10-04 23:33:52
Lots of joking around in Jersey, though nothing as hysterical as Dave's Europe positionPublish date: 2009-10-03 10:31:22
On The Sun, Obama in Copenhagen and Alistair McGowan on the looPublish date: 2009-10-01 10:59:49
Sun switches ain't wot they used to bePublish date: 2009-09-30 10:17:14
Darling and Mandelson show what I mean by authenticityPublish date: 2009-09-28 16:28:18
Serious Politics 1 Low Journalism 0Publish date: 2009-09-27 11:55:54
Media's love for Cameron should be turned into a weaknessPublish date: 2009-09-26 10:30:03
Time for ministers to stand up and fightPublish date: 2009-09-25 09:40:26
Today's media double standards watchPublish date: 2009-09-24 09:29:45
Breaking News - GB wins award, Lib Dems face all waysPublish date: 2009-09-23 09:43:49
Why authenticity is the key to comms, and why Merkel will winPublish date: 2009-09-22 08:29:13
Why I love NHS walk-in centresPublish date: 2009-09-21 12:13:03
Here goes with the smoked SalmondPublish date: 2009-09-20 10:40:21
Breaking News - Cameron's vacuousness an impersonator's nightmarePublish date: 2009-09-19 11:06:09
Cameron has an army of spin doctors - aka journalistsPublish date: 2009-09-18 10:07:06
On Scottish independence, Cameron's short-termism, and Jimmy Carter being rightPublish date: 2009-09-17 09:56:56
Is Cameron Alex Salmond's Trojan Horse?Publish date: 2009-09-15 10:13:42
On the TUC, Roy of the Rovers and Anna WintourPublish date: 2009-09-14 11:04:46
A day in the life of a (crap) City traderPublish date: 2009-09-11 17:52:25
Defend record with pride, attack Tories with gustoPublish date: 2009-09-10 11:06:36
Cameron's Conservatism beyond parodyPublish date: 2009-09-09 10:38:00
On transforned cities, and tales of Princess Di and Laura BushPublish date: 2009-09-08 09:45:54
Labour should put minister up against Griffin on Question TimePublish date: 2009-09-06 12:39:56
School speech the latest source of right-wing frothing at ObamaPublish date: 2009-09-05 08:23:02
More horse's mouth, less Beeb blah pleasePublish date: 2009-09-04 22:49:20
Real respect for sport can be Olympic legacyPublish date: 2009-09-04 09:27:34
First ladies watch out for Japanese bombshellPublish date: 2009-09-03 10:47:19
TV debate - good idea in theory, but ...Publish date: 2009-09-02 15:37:43
'No worries' - the new response to thanksPublish date: 2009-09-01 12:25:19
Tremors of Japanese political earthquake will be felt far and widePublish date: 2009-08-30 15:50:54
Pressure on Ed Miliband can help get a climate change dealPublish date: 2009-08-28 13:39:08
Why Tories and media cannot stomach GCSE success storyPublish date: 2009-08-27 16:03:34
Exposing the absurdity of Chris GraylingPublish date: 2009-08-26 13:20:19
Joy and beauty and a night of magicPublish date: 2009-08-20 10:55:11
Twitter NHS backlash good for ObamaPublish date: 2009-08-14 15:44:49
A lifetime's ambition fulfilledPublish date: 2009-08-08 16:59:02
Breaking the blog-a-day spell as warm up to holidayPublish date: 2009-07-20 17:44:49
No hiding place from Twitter, me on the bike, JP in DCPublish date: 2009-07-17 18:17:09
At last - something Obama cannot do wellPublish date: 2009-07-16 10:05:47
Will MPs take the lead in the debate on euthanasia?Publish date: 2009-07-15 12:30:01
Berlin brothel leads the way to a greener worldPublish date: 2009-07-14 10:57:25
A time for GB to explain the whole picturePublish date: 2009-07-13 12:37:54
All hail Monty, Jimmy and Collie!Publish date: 2009-07-12 20:06:36
First triathlon of the summer for me, education award for FionaPublish date: 2009-07-12 09:43:06
Of Burnley's friendly and Obama's wandering eyePublish date: 2009-07-11 12:38:52
Two great early morning momentsPublish date: 2009-07-10 10:27:07
Cameron had better be sure he's rightPublish date: 2009-07-09 11:06:22
Guardian scoop has big questions for press, cops and CameronPublish date: 2009-07-08 20:40:54
Divisive legend: Lance ArmstrongPublish date: 2009-07-07 10:38:23
First hug a hoodie, now grab a gayPublish date: 2009-07-06 12:57:09
Mail on Scumday's wonderful account of Lansley's kipperdomPublish date: 2009-07-05 13:14:51
Ecclestone undermines his own success with alarming views on HitlerPublish date: 2009-07-04 14:04:04
When the conmen move more quickly than the councilPublish date: 2009-07-03 10:19:52
Andrew Lansley done up like a kipperPublish date: 2009-07-02 10:10:52
A day spent interviewing footballers, then being interviewed by a transvestite comedianPublish date: 2009-07-01 14:47:40
When the power of black eyes fadesPublish date: 2009-06-30 09:24:59
Farewell to Henry HodgePublish date: 2009-06-29 20:41:12
Honouring the power of sport to do goodPublish date: 2009-06-29 14:49:42
Andy Murray is a winner. Is that why some Brits don't like him?Publish date: 2009-06-28 09:19:20
New Parliament will look very different. The younger the betterPublish date: 2009-06-27 17:34:26
Two nice surprises, sad end to dayPublish date: 2009-06-26 09:16:33
Apology from the Spectator on Iraq boosts Henry Hodge fundPublish date: 2009-06-25 19:57:26
Thanks to Mr Harper on mental health, rebuttal of Mr Hague on IraqPublish date: 2009-06-24 23:47:54
Glad to find Eric Cantona in a quiet cinema ...Publish date: 2009-06-24 00:46:23
By Dave's friends shall we know him?Publish date: 2009-06-23 11:30:20
The Speaker has to balance tradition and change - but defend ParliamentPublish date: 2009-06-22 11:58:44
Less a blog than an apology for not having done onePublish date: 2009-06-21 20:07:43
The day Lions skipper Paul O'Connell took my trousers downPublish date: 2009-06-20 11:48:28
On the Iraq inquiry, Independent article wrongPublish date: 2009-06-19 20:28:24
Thank you to three readers, now please get involvedPublish date: 2009-06-19 09:13:35
A tribute to a lovely manPublish date: 2009-06-18 17:19:40
Bad times in Belfast, great day for Burnley, odd statement from Ed BallsPublish date: 2009-06-18 10:04:47
A plea for five-figure cyber-donationsPublish date: 2009-06-17 07:40:42
On two inquiriesPublish date: 2009-06-16 08:57:39
From India to Iran to Labour witPublish date: 2009-06-15 10:13:17
Memories of Princess DianaPublish date: 2009-06-14 09:54:55
A House Divided?Publish date: 2009-06-13 02:53:47
A humbling NHS experience, a media row and a good GB speechPublish date: 2009-06-12 10:48:46
Psychiatrists heading for relegation in 'disease prestige' league tablePublish date: 2009-06-11 10:25:35
The shrinks awaitPublish date: 2009-06-10 09:44:16
As Obama fights for healthcare, let's celebrate the record herePublish date: 2009-06-09 12:52:55
Anger at BNP seats must be turned into activismPublish date: 2009-06-08 14:11:10
Can today be as frenzied as Friday?Publish date: 2009-06-07 10:31:04
Take heart from a win in LambethPublish date: 2009-06-06 18:46:40
JP is right there was no proper campaign but Tories still weakPublish date: 2009-06-05 13:47:20
Do we care more about the NHS or moats?Publish date: 2009-06-04 00:21:23
Guardian of social justice or attention-seeker?Publish date: 2009-06-03 10:19:33
Who says Britain can't deliver the best?Publish date: 2009-06-02 08:08:38
Mainstream has a duty to vote against BNPPublish date: 2009-06-01 11:03:29
Let Diversity inspire a vote against the hate-filled BNPPublish date: 2009-05-31 12:24:20
White House whack at UK media well-timed but sure to be ignoredPublish date: 2009-05-30 13:41:00
Elvis has a plan to make MPs King againPublish date: 2009-05-29 12:09:44
At least there's a campaign on in ItalyPublish date: 2009-05-28 09:04:32
A blow to gay rights and a boost for Cameron's short-termismPublish date: 2009-05-27 11:27:41
It's my blog and I'll be a big kid if I want toPublish date: 2009-05-26 23:25:58
Highs feel better after so many lowsPublish date: 2009-05-26 10:13:12
Only one present countsPublish date: 2009-05-25 11:05:46
Contrast Cheney and BushPublish date: 2009-05-24 12:11:45
Sex (or at least the female form) obsessed BritainPublish date: 2009-05-23 20:49:57
Sport at both ends of the financial spectrumPublish date: 2009-05-23 09:57:23
Stronger together - whether Scotland or expensesPublish date: 2009-05-22 10:22:36
Back to Number 10, familiar faces, familiar argumentsPublish date: 2009-05-21 10:14:34
Speaking up for ParliamentPublish date: 2009-05-20 11:44:17
Peace in the Middle East - yes he canPublish date: 2009-05-19 09:37:35
Breaking news - one frenzy at a timePublish date: 2009-05-18 10:34:30
Getting a good look at Vince CablePublish date: 2009-05-17 09:36:55
How do you solve a problem like Silvio?Publish date: 2009-05-16 09:32:21
It was the internet wot won itPublish date: 2009-05-15 10:04:57
There now follows ... a good whack at CameronPublish date: 2009-05-14 17:21:28
They got their kit off - so you get your cash outPublish date: 2009-05-14 07:41:11
Expenses row must not obscure Tory intentions on minimum wagePublish date: 2009-05-13 16:12:08
We love you Burnley, we do ... what a nightPublish date: 2009-05-13 02:37:17
A tweet cannot express the wonders of TGVPublish date: 2009-05-12 08:48:31
It's Mind week - Get it off your Chest with me and Stephen FryPublish date: 2009-05-11 06:29:15
Hate the Mail, love ObamaPublish date: 2009-05-10 10:04:00
Burnley 1 Reading 0 - a biased reportPublish date: 2009-05-09 21:26:32
MPs expenses - time for party leaders to meet againPublish date: 2009-05-09 09:50:19
Should happiness replace prosperity as national goal?Publish date: 2009-05-08 08:43:23
Musings from a sleepless nightPublish date: 2009-05-07 07:33:49
Darren Fletcher - an injustice that has to be rightedPublish date: 2009-05-06 09:52:29
Maggie's legacy not as great as she thinksPublish date: 2009-05-05 08:33:02
Here's hoping Cardiff is metaphor for CameronPublish date: 2009-05-04 09:38:30
More Mr Benn and Co pleasePublish date: 2009-05-03 10:03:00
Going Fourth with JPPublish date: 2009-05-02 18:25:41
Journalism - print first, think laterPublish date: 2009-05-02 09:10:01
In praise of two poetsPublish date: 2009-05-01 10:26:36
JP hits the road againPublish date: 2009-04-29 18:52:11
My night with Eddie IzzardPublish date: 2009-04-29 10:53:25
Explaining the 50p top tax ratePublish date: 2009-04-28 09:22:53
George Best and Martin McGuinnessPublish date: 2009-04-27 09:02:35
Cameron confused over indepdendence and impartialityPublish date: 2009-04-26 12:20:56
Guide ro Marathon running part 2Publish date: 2009-04-25 11:01:34
Good signals on coal and the OlympicsPublish date: 2009-04-24 10:45:28
Tips for the London MarathonPublish date: 2009-04-23 17:29:27
Missed the Budget, saw why it matteredPublish date: 2009-04-22 23:09:31
Football good, politics bad. AllegedlyPublish date: 2009-04-22 00:00:24
The Great Wall gets greaterPublish date: 2009-04-21 09:55:22
Two sides to police storyPublish date: 2009-04-20 11:39:54
Budgets, Balls, billionaires and Susan BoylePublish date: 2009-04-19 12:31:45
Do muscles have memories?Publish date: 2009-04-18 09:44:44
Bring back standing at footballPublish date: 2009-04-17 14:50:22
When Facebook friends fall outPublish date: 2009-04-16 12:29:16
Guardian sightings and the email and bath plug agendaPublish date: 2009-04-15 11:32:16
The spin is all in the prismPublish date: 2009-04-14 09:22:41
A setback, not a crisisPublish date: 2009-04-13 12:55:19
The real lessons from Damian McBridePublish date: 2009-04-12 10:49:47
Will English always be the dominant language?Publish date: 2009-04-11 10:02:02
On the pipes and what makes a ScotPublish date: 2009-04-10 11:06:20
John Prescott lazy? NO WAYPublish date: 2009-04-09 09:11:31
David Frost is seventyPublish date: 2009-04-08 08:48:38
The Speaker, BBC2, tonight and tomorrow 8pmPublish date: 2009-04-07 14:25:31
Obama, colds and being woken by Korean missilesPublish date: 2009-04-06 11:59:24
When a call matters more than protocolPublish date: 2009-04-05 11:33:42
Green Cities Champions LeaguePublish date: 2009-04-04 10:19:53
Could Cameron have delivered the G20 deal?Publish date: 2009-04-03 10:11:59
Of Benn and BonoPublish date: 2009-04-02 08:21:16
Memo to Sarko - allez vite a LondresPublish date: 2009-04-01 08:46:17
Happy April Fool's DayPublish date: 2009-04-01 01:44:05
Eurostar, Le Monde and a thought for the G20 sherpasPublish date: 2009-03-31 09:17:22
Why Kevin Rudd made an impactPublish date: 2009-03-30 10:24:41
Pre-G20 hype matters less than post-G20 processPublish date: 2009-03-29 13:17:28
The Damned UnitedPublish date: 2009-03-28 10:37:04
A hobby horse, a plug and a bit of sportPublish date: 2009-03-27 10:22:23
Cloughie - he had a lot to be big-headed aboutPublish date: 2009-03-26 09:38:36
A sad sight of the old fearing the youngPublish date: 2009-03-25 17:03:07
Post-modern, post-structural, or bullshit?Publish date: 2009-03-25 08:18:02
Learning the right lessons from ObamaPublish date: 2009-03-24 08:53:15
Lazy Dave needs to keep an eye on lazy KenPublish date: 2009-03-23 11:16:14
Farewell favourite restaurant, hello hometownPublish date: 2009-03-22 08:18:09
Dave, Danny and have the Tories really changed?Publish date: 2009-03-21 08:55:13
Life beyond Dover ...Publish date: 2009-03-20 10:11:21
My friends in The New Statesman - Fergie, Fiona, Tony, Sarah, Kevin, 'Dacre,' and a great GB idea for the G20Publish date: 2009-03-18 10:38:22
Iraq, Iran, GB, Obama and diplomatic chessPublish date: 2009-03-17 10:07:13
The Age of StupidPublish date: 2009-03-16 08:27:13
Is all change good?Publish date: 2009-03-15 10:00:06
The pressure of being a post-modern sex godPublish date: 2009-03-14 10:00:55
Cameron still hasn't sealed the deal with businessPublish date: 2009-03-13 09:21:49
Stand up for social workersPublish date: 2009-03-12 08:31:17
Surely Malcolm Tucker could have told Armando Ianucci ... You can't spin a spinnerPublish date: 2009-03-11 10:58:25
Start of a new approach from Labour?Publish date: 2009-03-10 09:54:12
A peace process still strongPublish date: 2009-03-09 08:21:05
Day of destiny for the real footballer of the yearPublish date: 2009-03-08 09:21:06
Private advice to Peggy Mitchell - the leaked note in fullPublish date: 2009-03-07 08:17:21
Boris, the Tories and the tummy-tickling poodle pressPublish date: 2009-03-06 09:49:37
A day in the life of the self-obsessed TV reporterPublish date: 2009-03-05 07:55:47
GB - good speech, well deliveredPublish date: 2009-03-04 19:31:05
Notes on the environment, a role in EastEndersPublish date: 2009-03-04 10:58:56
She may be my 'wife' but it is time to rebut!Publish date: 2009-03-03 10:52:59
Some speeches matter more than othersPublish date: 2009-03-02 12:04:45
Mental health and the Carling Cup FinalPublish date: 2009-03-01 09:08:17
Inside the chocolate factoryPublish date: 2009-02-28 10:23:59
GB on the G20, JP on Jeremy KylePublish date: 2009-02-27 09:14:36
Charity and the credit crunch, please give generously!Publish date: 2009-02-26 08:55:12
Why oh why are the Tories not home and dry?Publish date: 2009-02-24 09:44:59
Me, Dermot and ten top songsPublish date: 2009-02-23 10:02:19
Names round-upPublish date: 2009-02-22 08:43:39
What's in a name?Publish date: 2009-02-21 09:58:14
Editing the New StatesmanPublish date: 2009-02-20 11:42:36
Salute Peter M’s proper use of the F wordPublish date: 2009-02-19 09:58:58
Labour's communications challenge for the NHSPublish date: 2009-02-18 10:34:39
In praise of KeighleyPublish date: 2009-02-17 14:33:57
A night at the EmiratesPublish date: 2009-02-17 00:06:51
When marriage is testedPublish date: 2009-02-16 13:36:35
Spare me the myths and the whiningPublish date: 2009-02-15 13:29:50
Dave Cameron - is that all there is?Publish date: 2009-02-14 11:11:55
Boris Johnson: F is for ...Publish date: 2009-02-13 07:55:10
The Cameron vacuumPublish date: 2009-02-12 14:48:33
Lincoln, Obama, Blair and the 24 hour media culturePublish date: 2009-02-11 10:28:47
Eighteen interviews later ...Publish date: 2009-02-10 19:24:45
Time to talk about Time to Change on NewsnightPublish date: 2009-02-09 22:47:49
So that’s what they mean by online community?Publish date: 2009-02-08 12:12:51
First blogPublish date: 2009-02-05 15:23:57
Matt
2009-09-14 20:34:47Alastair, You appear to have completely lost the plot. I 'got' it up to the nipple issue, but then all kinds of horrible visions popped into my head and I couldn't stomach reading anymore.
You obviously need more to do - I hear that there is one leader not that far away who could do with your considerable help and guidance. When he is ranting and raving and throwing phones and computers at the wall, you could just put your earphones in and start typing away. I bet they don't fall out when you type.
Simon
2009-09-14 10:02:53For a few years now, I've used those earphones which hook round your ears; I tend to find they stay rock-steady no matter how much of a nodder / shaker you are. I usually go for the cheapest ones Argos have in stock at the time; but I think my current ones are Tesco own brand, under a fiver. I don't see much point spending big money on them, given the punishment they're inevitably going to take.
I've bought two iPods in my life; and have never yet used the headphones which came with them. For anything. Ever.
Chris
2009-09-14 06:51:35Second two of these, Alastair - get some Sony Fontopia, and stop talking to imaginary people.
For the runner's nipple though, I'd get a rashie or a baselayer shirt - like a Canterbury IonX (mine) or UnderArmour. The problem is sweat + chafing. A wicking compression top will stop it, and has other training advantages.
Trevor Malcolm, Portsmouth Hampshire
2009-09-14 02:34:48PSYCHIATRIST OR AUDIOLOGIST - OR BOTH ?
WHICH NHS SPECIALIST THIS EARPHONE-POPOUT PATIENT NEEDS
=======================================================
After a dose of comment from Jack_C at 8pm, it must be reassuring to read that Helene Pearson at 9:30pm wants you to keep some whimsical funstuff to counter-balance the serious business. Otherwise, we all go to bed, miserable and cross
Again, “nae worries, laddie” because once you go deaf in your dotage, such worrisome botherages as iPod earphones will have long since ceased to upset thee
In fact, you’ll become “all ears” listening to even the silliest bugger who yells their bizarre point of view at you
Instead, the Eckhart Tolle stillness, the golden silence will deafen you with its fragile beauty
Too frail to peddle your bike in your old age, the opinions of what Mr Jeremy Paxman, 59, of Henley-on-Thames, recently accurately identified as “a nation of barbarians” will leave you indifferent - even if they don’t do already
Moronic, uncultured, opinionated, thick and inarticulate, we’ve got The Whole Catastrophe, living in our very own UK streets, thank you
Surely there’s hope in the NHS hospital round the corner, then? Well, after you’ve complained about your sweaty earphones during your appointment with the Senior Consultant Audiological Scientist (SCAS), you’ll witness his lips move, but your deafness won’t allow you to hear what the old codger is blathering about
Still, at least you’ll be made to feel like ventriloquist Ray Allen’s, Lord Charles – the complete dummy
London cabbies can call you all the names they like by then, the criticisms and funny looks you mention, hah. Majestic in your pomp, you can afford to laugh so heartily, your NHS dentures swoop the length of the waiting room and bite three NHS triage nurses in the neck, all at once, (a trick even Derren Brown hasn’t yet perfected)
Gormless but proud, you can totter out, having outperformed the legendary Christopher Lee, Vincent Price and Peter Cushing, one trio in one go
Time for home, then? Not yet, not quite, because I see you swear your bicycle rhythm disappears when your temper explodes
Temper tantrums, too, I believe? Mmm, then you’d best potter out of the hospital ENT clinic towards NHS psychiatric outpatients
Follow the big, red signposts – “Nutters This Way, please”
There, expert specialists might check you for confrontational attitude, for challenging behaviour patterns. Then, you can even celebrate becoming a medically-diagnosed, unpredictable and disinhibited patient with complexity issues
A touch “borderline” who fails to engage fully with the Art and the Science of NHS Psychiatry: But, nae worries agin, laddie – there’s millions in that same category, millions
And we’re on an alarming increase
Bless the pharmaceutical industry for coaching psychiatrists “how to remain guarded in their prognosis” – just dole out more pricey medication to patients and count the shoeboxes of profit that ensues
Even pumping out more psycho-babble has failed to cure the frail and ailing, sadly
Still, out of it all - if funding permits - you’re entitled to claim a Certificate of Attendance as conclusive proof you bothered to turn up for the daftest all-day “Anger Management” seminar ever presented. That'll make you mad as hell
Have fun, yelling loudly. You’ll not need your sweaty earphones, then
Sounds to me like your awkward quandary is just the type of Audiology Dept “process problem” the NHS administration now thrives upon. Part of our beloved “English cultural heritage” – same as 1960s supermarkets, like Fine Fare and Victor Value
Same as black phones made out of bakelite and dear old British Rail, prior to Chairman, Dr Richard “The Axe” Beeching’s savage cutbacks. Something antiquated and so unwieldly to manage, that you can’t help but love such a benign mess unconditionally
Trevor Malcolm
//////////////////////////////////
///////////
Art O'Leary
2009-09-14 00:12:51Try Bang & Olufsen earphones (with the bit that wraps around your ear).....bought a pair last year - expensive, but you won't have any problems with earphones popping out and the sound quality is top class...
vincent
2009-09-13 23:15:24Hi Alastair,
Can't help with the headphones... but for the nipples, try to smear some vaseline on them before the run, that's an old known trick, but it works a treat!
Helene Pearson
2009-09-13 21:35:35Alastair, I know you won't anyway, but please don't let the humour bypass brigade like Jack C deter you from the occasional piece of whimsy. I like your blog when it is serious, and I like the funstuff too. And if I saw you out jogging I would shout out thanks for the blogging and thanks for saying it like it is
Jack_C
2009-09-13 20:13:14I should see a doctor before too long. The problem you have is not with earphones falling out, but with the hallucinations you keep having about conversations with people. I would think what they're actually saying is when will Gordon call an election so that we can vote for David Cameron, the strangers are probably yelling across the road that Blair is a war criminal and what were you thinking of by helping him in the first place, they're wanting to know where all their money has gone from the billions thrown at public services with no tangible benefit to anybody. Sure, you'll get the odd smile, and congratulation for your courage in making the programme about bi-polar disorder. The only thing that probably does happen is the "good luck to Burnley" bit. The British all love a plucky underdog.
@jlocke13
2009-09-13 19:44:39..."all the people who want to express their gratitude for all the improvements in public services under Labour".. ...hahah I think you are mishearing....I remember helping to launch Sony Walkman in the UK and all the journalists said "you really think people will walk around in public wearing headphones?" well there is your answer... headphones instead of earplugs...
Mustafa Mitib
2009-09-13 19:10:00As my in ear headphones decided to stop working, i have resorted back to the usual headphones you get with any ipod or iphone and they are the most uncomfortable things ever.
Heres an idea for apple, if you can make headphones from some sort of material, that could be molded into your ear, when ever you put your headphones in. Something a bit like plasticine, but not actual plasticine.
What do you think alastair?
Ronald
2009-09-13 19:01:49Get yourself a set of Bang Olufsen earphones. The ones that go around the back of the ear. This keeps them steady, but being B+O still stylish!
mhairi gordon
2009-09-13 18:42:28Most enjoyable :-)
I have the opposite problem, tiny ears and struggle to get headphones in them without wedging and pain. We music-lovers have to suffer for art.
Gari MacColl
2009-09-13 18:24:16Hi Alastair,
I'm afraid the answer is to invest in a pair of earpod headphones such as Sony Fontopia. These pop in the ears like plugs and tend to stay the course.
The sound quality is often better than the usual i-pod ones too.
And the nipple issue can be addressed with a couple of corn plasters before running.
Catriona Smith
2009-09-13 18:22:52Ooohhh! That sounds so sore!! Please do yourself a favour AC... After the Great North Run,sit down and give your body a break!!! What about trying something different like Tai Chi or Chi Gung, or is it just the competitive bit that you really like?? You never know, you might like it!! :D
By the way, good luck next week!
Steven Nash
2009-09-13 17:53:00get some neckband headphones, great for running.
Post a comment