The following post will have spoilers in it. If you haven’t seen Inception, throw your computer out of your window, hot foot it to your local cinema, see it, buy a new computer, and then read this post. If you have seen it, prepare to most likely disagree with me on the matter.
This weekend, Inception , Christopher Nolan’s follow-up to The Dark Knight, was released across the United States to critical acclaim and mass appeal. The film earned $60 million dollars and hilarious headlines in its opening weekend, and has skyrocketed to the top of IMDB’s 250 Greatest Movies Ever, ranking #3 right above The Godfather Part II. And because I always try to be on top of NationalTrendz.biz, I forced myself to see it before the inevitable internet spoilers wormed their way into my eyeholes. And, prepare yourself for what might be the most unpopular opinion in cinematic history after those people insisting The Phantom Menace is the best of all the Star Wars movies: I didn’t really like it at all.
Now, before we get into the specifics, allow me to paint a picture of my own mental state at the time. I had landed from an 11 hour flight at 6 am in the morning, and in order to beat my jet lag, insisted I carry on with my regular Sunday plans as per usual. This included brunch, lunch, afternoon snack, quick ride on the Cyclone at Coney Island, adopting and promptly returning 2 dogs, setting a pigeon free, and meeting and marrying an accountant. But what “Collins Sunday”TM also doesn’t include a quick movie theater drive-by? So, I embarked on an evening screening of Inception with a friend, whose mutually high-expectations came crashing down like so many CGI beachfront apartment buildings.
Inception, a movie about dreaming, and not just dreaming but dreams within dreams within dreams, might be the worst movie in the world to see while painfully jet-lagged. But here’s what I gathered during the skin-clawingly frustrating two and a half hours: Leonardo DiCaprio reprises his role as Furrowed Brow #1 from Shutter Island, this time playing Dom Cobb, a tortured fellow who sneaks into dreams in order to steal secrets from people’s subconsciouses. Also, wife dead something about his kids blah blah blah. See also: Shutter F**king Island. Wait, JK, don’t see it.