Hollywood Week(s) continued on "American Idol" on Wednesday night (February 10). Ryan Seacrest apparently calls this portion of the program "Hell Week." This just in: "American Idol" is now taking cues from sororities! I can't wait until next week's episode, when all the contestants lay naked on the floor while Kara DioGuardi circles body fat with a Sharpie.
Wednesday night was the dreaded "Group Night," where, like every other season, the remaining 96 hopefuls broke off into small groups, took over hallways and lobbies of a hotel in California and sang Motown tunes into half-empty water bottles all through the night. (Seriously, I hope "Idol" buys out that entire hotel. Imagine the phone calls the front desk guy must get at four in the morning: "They're still singing 'Get Ready' in the hallway!" "Two people are screaming about choreography outside my door." "I accidentally bought a porno flick 90 minutes ago. I won't be charged, right? Oh, also, some girl is butchering that Alicia Keys song in the room next to me.")
As always, a few over-the-top personalities hogged most of the screen time, so the episode was short on music, long on drama. (It was also long on frighteningly sculpted eyebrows thanks to the plucked-up Danny Jones. Yikes!) So let's break down the various plot threads producers focused on this year.
Neopolitan vs. Destiny's Wild
Both of these groups selected Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance," and for some reason decided to rehearse right next to each other. (That makes about as much sense as forcing contestants to perform group numbers when they're competing to be a solo artist. Am I right, Jermaine Sellers?) Passive-aggressive loud singing commenced, accusations of "idea stealing" got thrown around and voila! Todrick Hall, so charming in his initial audition, suddenly became the season's resident diva. With an intense gaze and an arched eyebrow typically reserved for Disney villains and drag queens, Hall menacingly sang, "They're goin' down!"
Alas, Neopolitan didn't go down. Their "Bad Romance" scored high marks from Simon and they all advanced — even Liz Rooney, whose bright pink streaks and chesty moan cried out for a make-under and a muzzle, respectively.
I preferred Destiny's Wild's "Bad Romance," if only because it opened with Todrick doing a backflip and featured a sassy one-named singer named Theri in a pleather top. I was also excited to meet rocker girl Siobhan Magnus, who apparently spends her free time raiding Bruce Springsteen's closet circa 1984 when she's not blowing glass. Now that I read this paragraph back I can see why Ellen called their performance "surreal." They all made it to the next round, too, which means Todrick lives another day to sass anyone who doesn't appreciate him for the treasure he is.
Mary Powers vs. The Dreamers, Sanity
If Todrick was the head cheerleader of the "Idol" high school cafeteria, Mary Powers was the unstable late-in-life student-teacher who often cries in front of the class. Read more...