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  • 9 February
    Tuesday

    Your Lost Season 6, Episode 2 Primer

    By Dan Hopper

    Some tidbits to get us properly oiled up for the second Lost episode of Season 6 later tonight:

    – Our recap of last week’s two-hour premiere episode. Am I linking this as an excuse to have people look at my awful Locke Klumps poster again? Do I really need to answer that?

    – Doc Jensen’s 6,000 Questions For Tonight’s Episode, if you’ve got a spare day between now and 9:00 tonight.

    – The title of tonight’s episode is “What Kate Does”, a tense-altered throwback to Episode 9 of Season 2, “What Kate Did”, in which she sees a black horse and has nightmare flashbacks. Presumably, tonight’s episode will revolve around Kate’s present-tense actions in the new Oceanic 815 world after having escaped the clutches of her still-alive Federal Marshal.

    – Here’s the promo for tonight’s episode. Genghis Khan brands someone (possibly Sayid, possibly a pig), Jack has a chance to redeem himself yet again, and the time for questions is still over.

    – Here are the stars of the show watching the premiere in Hawaii, shattering any number of illusions. Is it embarrassing to admit that I just this second realized that the show isn’t a documentary? LOLKIDDING!!!! I’ve known it’s fictional since like Season 4.

    – And finally, whether or not this season turns out to be a letdown, we’ll always have this clip of the ultimate Lost fan fiction script:

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    Posted on February 9th, 2010 | Permalink
    Categories: Boob Tube
    Tagged: , , ,
  • 9 February
    Tuesday

    Martini Minute with New Kids on the Block: On Sex, Hangin’ Tough & Debbie Gibson

    By Michelle Collins

    If you would have told my 9 year old self that almost 20 years later I would be coming face to face (“Or breasts to face in some instances.” — 6 ft. tall me) with New Kids on the Block, I probably would have slapped you in the face, slammed my door, slapped some bracelets on my wrists and spooned my body pillow for hours on end, weeping from nerves at the thought. Never really did have too many friends as a child.

    Thankfully, NKOTB did not hold these awkward early years against me as they agreed to sit down with me for another installment of “Martini Minute.” The room was admittedly cramped over at Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, where we met merely hours before their solid Late Night performance.

    And there they sat, the 5 of them — Joey McIntyre, Danny Wood, Donnie Wahlberg, Jordan and Jonathan Knight — looking hotter than I even remembered, and ready to bare all about what life was like on the road and beyond as one of America’s most beloved boy bands. We cover everything: Debbie Gibson, the fans, sexual point systems, kneetouches, upcoming gigs, and most importantly… rat tails.

    This interview will answer at least 9 of your most burning NKOTB questions. Here’s to you, Danny Wood. *clink*

    So… who’s coming on the NKOTB cruise with me?

    Follow Me On Twitter.

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    Click here to check out other Martini Minute’s!

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    Posted on February 9th, 2010 | Permalink
    Categories: Celebrity, Videos
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  • 9 February
    Tuesday

    MTV Finally Remembers To Remove “Music Television” From Its Logo, Pick Up Its Dry Cleaning

    By Dan Hopper

    MTV is officially removing “Music Television” from its logo, for reasons about which we can only speculate.

    “Man, I’ve been putting that off for a while,” said MTV in a statement, “But it’s a new year, you know, I figured it’s time to stop being lazy — I got to the gym once this week already, I picked up my dry cleaning (finally! LOL), I remembered to take “Music” out of my logo so it stopped being an ironic reminder of how “you never play music ever” hasn’t even been necessary to point out for about a decade, and I even swung by Whole Foods to grab something for dinner tonight. It feels good to start knocking out some of these little errands, ya know?”

    Personally, I experienced the most sobering reminder of MTV’s non-musicness this past October while vacationing in Amsterdam — when I attempted to get into a private party at a club by flashing my hip American MTV Networks ID to the bouncer, thinking they’d be all impressed, he immediately replied in English, “MTV?? Tell your guys they need to play more videos!”

    When even a random club bouncer in Western Europe knows your network name is a joke, it’s time to take the words “Music Television” out of your logo. It’s pretty much Music Television Network Running 101.

    (For the record, the bouncer did let us into the event, likely because I agreed with him. I resisted the urge to yell “Psychhheeee!!! I’m barely an employee I just Photoshop speech bubbles onto Lost stills and some dude accidentally pays me for it!!!”)

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    Posted on February 9th, 2010 | Permalink
    Categories: Music
    Tagged: , ,
  • 9 February
    Tuesday

    The David Paterson Scandal Joke Headlines Are On Their Way…

    By Dan Hopper

    New Yorkers are still waiting for the Times to release their so-called “career-destroying bombshell” story about Governor David Paterson, which has been rumored to be everything from a sex scandal to a drug scandal to being the second gunman on the grassy knoll while having sex with drugs.

    Fortunately, we don’t have to wait for the story to actually break before newspapers can start rolling out ridiculous, Photoshopped joke covers. Way to take the initiative, A.M. New York:

    Pretty awesome — though I imagine that the day the story breaks, the NY Post will rain down upon us with the greatest headline that ever headlined. Political scandal, sex and drugs possibly involved, Democratic governor, and the possibility of blind jokes? I will be satisfied with nothing less than the Sgt. Pepper’s of Post headlines.

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    Posted on February 9th, 2010 | Permalink
    Categories: Politics
    Tagged: , , ,
  • 9 February
    Tuesday

    Kate Gosselin’s New, Honest Book Cover

    By Dan Hopper

    Here’s the cover to Kate Gosselin’s new book, I Just Want You To Know.

    Maybe I’m just bein’ a Skeptical Sam here, but it looks like she’s trying really, really hard to appear wholesome and likable:

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    Posted on February 9th, 2010 | Permalink
    Categories: Celebrity
    Tagged: , , , ,
  • 9 February
    Tuesday

    New Aqua-Bus Makes Technology Of 30-Year-Old Bond Movies A Reality

    By Dan Hopper

    The city of Glasgow, Scotland just unveiled a new line of Amphibious Buses designed to make expensive ferrys obsolete. It’s a true marvel of transportation technology, if we all pretend that Duck Tours and this don’t already exist:

    More pics of the Aqua-Bus in action below — now everyone’s daily commute will be like a Bond movie, but really boring! So, Tomorrow Never Dies:

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    Posted on February 9th, 2010 | Permalink
    Categories: In Odder News...
    Tagged: , , , ,
  • 9 February
    Tuesday

    Thanks For The Valentine’s Day Advice, Myspace!

    By Dan Hopper

    Any time I receive emails from Myspace, I feel like I’m being contacted by a delusional ex-girlfriend who I wasn’t even that into in the first place and now doesn’t realize it’s been over for three years. This awkwardness is compounded when Myspace starts offering me suggestions about what I should be doing for Valentine’s Day:

    Why yes, Myspace, I would like to spend my Valentine’s Day going to dinner with a webcam link that instantly freezes my entire apartment! I could be all, “Would you like some champagne?” and she’d be like, “I’m a robot who just sent your email address to nine porn sites!” and I’d be like “I know we just met but I’m really feeling a connection here!” and she’d be like “XXXPH@T@S YE$$$$$$$$” and then I’d finally be happy.

    Then I would play my new real lady some music from Myspace’s suggested Valentine’s playlist:

    Read the rest of this entry »

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    Posted on February 9th, 2010 | Permalink
    Categories: Ads
    Tagged: , , ,
  • 9 February
    Tuesday

    Brooklyn Decker’s Topless Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Cover

    By Dan Hopper

    In its ongoing effort to be as close to porn as it can be without actually being porn, because it can’t be porn, even though all anyone cares about seeing is porn, Sports Illustrated unveiled the cover of its new 2010 Swimsuit Issue today featuring a topless Brooklyn Decker, wife of tennis star Andy Roddick:

    If only there were some way to see women actually naked on the internet, perhaps by, I don’t know, inserting a floppy disk and booting kilobytes of world wide web? Grrrrrrr!!! It’s too hard!!!

    A much HOTTER pic of Brooklyn Decker, after the jump:

    Read the rest of this entry »

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    Posted on February 9th, 2010 | Permalink
    Categories: Celebrity Photobooth, Sports
    Tagged: , , , ,
  • 9 February
    Tuesday

    An Important Message to All of Our Readers

    By Michelle Collins

    Because we don’t say it often enough…

    I’ve watched this 200 times in the past 45 seconds.

    (via Justin Purnell)

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    Posted on February 9th, 2010 | Permalink
    Categories: Videos
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  • 8 February
    Monday

    The Super Babies of the Super Bowl LXIV

    By Michelle Collins

    Last night’s Superbowl XLIV was watched by a record 106 million viewers, with almost half of those viewers likely being Ladies. You may not have realized this from the marathon of commercials showing women getting the ess kicked out of them, but indeed, there was a slew of Double-X Chromies tuned in. Sure, a lot of ladies love football – myself included (one day a year) – but what of the women that hate it? The woman that slave all day long over a hot oven, toasting their nachos just so, basting buckets of wings in sauce while their beloved Tim Allen Stereotype sits outside, a veritable chicken bone chipper? How on Earth are they supposed to enjoy the game???

    Simple.

    SUPERBOWL BABIES!!!!

    Between Drew Brees and Scott Fujitsu’s offspring, from Suri Cruise to the Jolie-Pitt brethren, there was plenty of ovarian eye-candy to keep us gals occupied, weeping over our knitting needles, crouched over our washboards, while the boys seemingly had all the fun. And yes, I’m being sarcastic — GUYS LIKE BABIES TOO!!!! Enjoy this very special gallery of all the adorable Super Bowl Super Babies ahead.


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    Posted on February 8th, 2010 | Permalink
    Categories: Celebrity, Entertainment
    Tagged: , , , , , , , , ,
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