Entries for September 2007

Local bars in Lawrence have cracked the whip on dress codes, leaving some University of Kansas imbibers on the streets. According to the University Daily Kansan, some banned items are sunglasses, do-rags, large jewelry, oversize clothing, sweat pants, and non-game-day, non-Kansas jerseys.

One bar requires patrons to wear shoes, keep hats on straight, pull up pants, and refrain from wearing sleeveless shirts. The establishment's owner's principled stand against manly bare arms is a matter of propriety.

"I think it's disgusting to see guys in tank tops when people are trying to eat food," he said. "It's a personal rule."

This is what networking is all about. Thanks to its illustrious alumni, Bowling Green State University has totally one-upped the University of Toledo and nabbed "Making the Band 4" for an on-campus event, the BG News reports. Take that, Toledo.

It's that time of year again at the University of Pennsylvania, when ambitious, credential-grubbing résumé builders run for student government. The Daily Pennsylvanian asked the freshman candidates questions. They answered with varying degrees of wit.

What does Penn's president do?

She runs s---.

She furthers intellectual development to ensure that we are better than Princeton?

What are some issues on the Undergraduate Assembly's agenda for this year?

No clue.

What is on your agenda?

I'll give our class what they want: ...theme parties...cram sessions, covering for toilet seats.

I want to host a rave at a nightclub in downtown Philly. [Also] an event with a cookout, jousting, sumo-wrestling....

If you could choose anyone in the world to be your first lady/gentleman, who would it be?

Channing Tatum

Scarlett Johanssen

George Clooney

Christina Milian.... She's terribly quite attractive

Angelina Jolie.... Who could resist those lips?

An internal investigation at Florida State University has led to university and NCAA action against almost two dozen athletes for academic misconduct, the Tallahassee Democrat reports. The students in question play seven varsity sports. None are from men's basketball or baseball or have competed in a football game this season (phew).

The six-month investigation revealed that a number of students had received "improper academic assistance" when an athletic department employee provided or directed players to answers for online quizzes. Each of the student-athletes was enrolled in the same online course.

With memories reignited of the infamous 1993 Foot Locker scandal involving a shopping spree by seven FSU football players, the university president's understated response was nothing less than curious: "You could make a pretty good case that the faculty did not do a very good job of protecting the integrity of the test."

Where's Steve Spurrier when you need him?

Life at the University of Wisconsin has returned to normal after a series of threatening phone calls put the campus on partial lockdown Tuesday, the Badger Herald reports. Police said a 19-year-old with no immediate ties to the university called the authorities, saying he wished to kill himself or be killed by police, but officials now believe he was never even on campus.

The school has patted itself on the back for the successful execution of its emergency plan and mass E-mail system, the Daily Cardinal writes. Meanwhile, student reactions ran the gamut from fear to confusion to apathy. "People were really calm, just kind of walking around or eating—we got free meal vouchers."

Former Harvard student and Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg is having a really good week. Rumor has it that Microsoft is considering buying a 5 percent stake in the site, worth $300 million to $500 million, valuing Facebook at $10 billion or more, the Harvard Crimson writes. Microsoft's offer is more than 10 times the value of Yahoo's from last year, but not everyone is impressed. One critic, who questioned the company's history regarding intellectual property, unappetizingly described Microsoft as "being greasy all over."

Two angsty alumni have recently started a typographic war with the University of Kansas athletics department, the University Daily Kansan reports. The conflict represents a months-old battle between the school's preference for the Trajan font ("well constructed" but "overused," says one shrill graphic designer) over the "curling, arc-serifed typeface" that "subtly evolved into a unique symbol of Jayhawk pride," which has recently been phased out by school officials.

The protesters' website, trajansucks.com, is well attended by Trajan deriders (no surprise here), but the school's response is hardly sympathetic.

"We have so many real issues to deal with," said an athletics director. "That website certainly isn't one of them." Ouch.

* At least four dead pigs shot in the head have been found on and off campus at Baylor University, prompting disgust from students, laughter from police, and a story about trash pickup in the Baylor Lariat.

* Cornell University students have one fewer excuse to not interact with their professors and teaching assistants as office hours increasingly go online, the Cornell Daily Sun writes.

The University of South Carolina's mascot name (the Gamecocks) has had a ripple effect for Louisiana State University's band. Last weekend, LSU fans got creative with their school's touchdown song, adding an abbreviated version of USC's nickname to the end of the traditional "you suck" chant. That improv has prompted the LSU band to stop playing the tune altogether, "leaving the future of the touchdown song uncertain," reports the Daily Reveille.

Cries of censorship have flooded Facebook, and a video of the vulgar chant has made its way to YouTube. While athletic department officials admonished the modified cheer as "disrespectful," at least one student assures that the addendum is only temporary. "I think [the modified chant] is only going to be for South Carolina," she said. "We were incorporating their name into our cheer." How clever of them.

*For William Faulkner's 110th birthday, University of Mississippi English professors are participating in a 10-hour marathon reading of "Go Down, Moses" just outside campus at the author's historic home, the Daily Mississippian writes.

*An accommodating University of Illinois housing office is reimbursing Muslim students for meals they miss during Ramadan, a holy month marked by daytime fasting, the Daily Illini reports. Muslim students for the most part seem to appreciate the gesture, but the amounts refunded still leave much to be desired: $2.05 for lunch and $3 for dinner.

The circus has descended upon Columbia University this week, as Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's Monday speech rained controversy, protesters, angry fliers, reporters, and Geraldo Rivera onto the school's New York City campus. At least two student-run blogs, the Bwog and the Ahmadineblog, have provided constant coverage of the day's events, including a live feed of the speech, impressive campus photos of the massive mob ("Everyone from firefighters to Yeshiva University to guys in kilts playing "God Bless America" on bagpipes are thronging outside the gates. ... Classes are being cancelled left and right, and South Lawn is stuffed like a frat party"), and pithy commentary appropriate for the arrival of one of the world's most notorious leaders. With headlines like "Here Comes the Iranian," there's really no reason to seek out other, possibly more credible, publications.

*Delaware State University, where a campus shooting wounded two students early Friday morning, has reopened amid praise for school officials' speedy response and lockdown after the event, the Chronicle of Higher Education writes.

*Funny-men and -women gleefully abused Wesleyan University's write-in ballot system and ended up three votes shy of electing "Giant Joint" to an at-large representative position in the school's student government, the Wesleyan Argus reports.

University of Michigan students who were arrested and fined for trespassing at an April sit-in are now demanding reimbursement from the school's president, the Michigan Daily reports. The students—who want the university to enforce strict labor standards on the companies that make university-licensed apparel—claim the arrests were unprecedented ("people at this university haven't been arrested for peaceful protest in 30 years"). The Daily report offers no comment from the university, but the protesters blame the administration for the $6,120 in fines the 12 students incurred. Let's just hope they kept their receipts.

Because everyone knows that college kids plus credit cards equals disaster, Ohio State University professors are suing Citibank, Potbelly Sandwich Works, La Bamba, and marketing firm Campus Dimensions for false advertising, saying the establishments publicized free meals without clearly stating that the promotion involved signing up for a credit card, the Lantern reports.

The companies being sued had little to say to the Lantern, but Potbelly's general counsel did offer one comment for good measure: "We are in the business of making great sandwiches for great customers. We are not a credit card company." Because we were all confused there for a second.

High crime, gender discrimination, and mopeds all came to a head at the University of Minnesota campus this week, as university police have issued a flurry of moped-related traffic citations recently, the Minnesota Daily writes. While campus officials worry about the always dangerous moped/pedestrian mix, at least one male rider claims that officers rarely pass off tickets to the fairer sex and has filed a formal complaint, the Daily reports.