Entries for November 2007

Perhaps overwhelmed by the holiday spirit, members of a fraternity at West Virginia University chopped down a 10-foot tree from a city park to call their own, the Daily Athenaeum reports. Unfortunately, the school and city weren't too pleased, and after the tree was deemed a fire hazard and "returned," officials asked the frat for $700 to $1,400 to pay for a new tree. On top of the fine, the frat could see some of its social privileges revoked, and the individuals involved could face criminal charges. "They said they wanted a Christmas tree," said a school official. "It would probably have been less expensive for them to go to Wal-Mart." Looks as if he's right: We couldn't find a real one online, but a fake 15-foot one is around $700. Plus, it lasts forever.

In other timber-related news, Louisiana State University was tired of student complaints and reneged on its recent politically correct gesture. The tree formally and briefly known as "holiday" will now return to its original moniker: "Christmas tree."

The police at Michigan State University are offering a $500 reward for tips on an October 30 fireworks scare, the State News reports. The multiple blasts from the fireworks sent hundreds of students scrambling from the building and drove one student—believing the school was under siege by a gunman—to escape through a first-floor window, tumbling 10 feet headfirst to the ground. She injured her arm and suffered a radial head fracture.

I didn't realize this was turning into a hate-crime news blog, but here goes. Members of the Muslim Students Association at the University of Miami found feces at the front steps of the building where the group meets and prays, the Miami Hurricane reports. And the student group's vice president stated the obvious for us: "I don't think anyone would want to do that with a good intent."

*Tie up your hemp necklaces and pack up your canvas National Public Radio tote bags; it's time for the Chilla Vista festival, an organic produce and solar-powered live music extravaganza near the UC-Santa Barbara campus, which promises a certain "chillness" to it and will equally be "pretty rad," the Daily Nexus reports.

*All those tree-sitters at UC-Berkeley are costing the school around $367,000 in security, the Daily Californian reports.

The blog finally allows comments from readers, so welcome us into the wild world of online interaction. By going directly to the page of individual posts, you can now leave rhetorical questions, biting criticism, all-caps rants, gibberish, and even praise for us hardworking scribes. The restrictions are few, but be nice. We're fragile.

A University of Pennsylvania sophomore has found his 15 minutes of fame through a giant-sized conceptual art project that explores "the fickleness of celebrity," the Daily Pennsylvanian reports. Ever since his bushy-haired mug shot has been plastered atop a school building where he has classes four days a week, the celebrity-shocked student has had random folks ask him about his future modeling career and, conversely, his possible status as a homeless child—not that the two are mutually exclusive.

Besides finding kindred spirits, there apparently is at least one other great reason to start a beer appreciation club: To wax poetic about the bubbly brew. The Daily Nexus offers some potable quotables from the founder of The Beer Necessities at UC-Santa Barbara.

When his landlord informed him of flooding beneath the beer club founder's apartment during a home brewing experiment: "I shoved the door in his face and I took care of that problem, because obviously the beer is more important than the people downstairs."

On Natty Ice etiquette: "Serve Natty Ice to people you don't care about."

And lastly, his nondiscrimination policy: "There is no such thing as bad beer."

*After rushing sororities for three semesters and having 13 bids denied this year, one UC-Berkeley senior thinks that it is her wheelchair that has stalled her recruitment efforts, the Daily Californian writes.

*A small chemical explosion at the University of North Carolina forced the evacuation of one school building and sent two students to the hospital, one with a cut above his right eye, the Daily Tar Heel reports. We predict a run on eye goggles in Chapel Hill.

Brown University loves its president Ruth Simmons, according to an article in the Brown Daily Herald. Recently named one of U.S. News's "Best Leaders" (shameless self-promotion), Simmons has been described as "a star," "charismatic," "amazing," and "hardcore." The phenomenon of her celebrity has inspired "I Love Ruth" T-shirts, a move to replace the word "cool" with "Ruth," and the formation of several Facebook groups, such as "That's So Ruth" and "If You [expletive] With Ruth Simmons, You're [expletive]-ing With All Of Us."

*Don't like your university E-mail service? Worse comes to worst, you could do like one Michigan State University student and make your own. About 400 students have signed up already, the State News reports.

*Filed under the "crimes that only happen at college" category, a particularly untalented vandal has been leaving very fourth-year-level English graffiti—featuring references to Thomas Pynchon's postmodern work The Crying of Lot 49 and trumpet-like symbols—all over the UC-Santa Barbara campus, the Daily Nexus reports.

The University of Maryland is considering a Good Samaritan policy that would exonerate students from alcohol-related infractions after calling 911 for a sick friend, the Diamondback reports. On the one hand, the school would prefer that students remain unafraid to call emergency services in the case of alcohol poisoning, but it also doesn't want to implement a policy that condones heavy drinking. Ever since Cornell University implemented a generous Samaritan policy, the number of emergency calls has more than doubled. Assuming the number of alcoholic Cornell students hasn't grown twofold, school officials are calling the program a "success."

Did you know Bruce Lee went to the University of Washington? Apparently, neither do many Huskies—a "crime" the school's comparative history department is trying to solve. An upper-level credit/no credit course called the "Bruce Lee Dedication" is working to elevate the martial arts master's status on campus, persuade the school to construct some sort of memorial (which could potentially be the best statue ever), and ultimately spark discussion about the Asian-American experience on campus.

No school means no college newspapers, which means Paper Trail gets its own vacation. Check back Monday, when students return to class, we hope 5 pounds heavier. Happy Thanksgiving!

*In an effort to better study its most prolific minority applicant group and respond to systemwide student protest, the University of California system will now allow Asian and Pacific Islander students to self-identify by choosing from 23 ethnic categories—up from eight—for its undergraduate application, UC-Berkeley's Daily Californian reports.

*While the University of North Carolina's O-Day was mostly met with glee, Cornell University's standing-room-only sexual awareness event (with a name too racy to print) was greeted by a handful of College Republican protesters, angry that part of their student fee was used for the lecture, the Cornell Daily Sun reports.

The University of Michigan's No Thai! restaurant has earned the ire of the school's Thai Student Association, which claims the unwelcoming name is offensive to customers of Thai descent and has asked the establishment to change its name. The restaurant's owner, Noerung Hang—whose nickname is "No"—has offered to post a letter explaining the context of the name but balked at the idea of a new moniker, calling a change "unrealistic."

Students have formed the "No Taste Campaign," complete with Facebook group, to raise awareness of the "issue," and have already discussed their concerns at a multicultural campus forum. In related news, university officials are considering increasing the workload of all students—some clearly have way too much time on their hands.