CentreRight

Just a word to wish all of you reading this an enjoyable conference, as this will be the first I'll have missed for quite a while.

I imagine with all the firebrand oratory, battlebuses, armed sentries, oriental eateries, bustling stalls, reconstruction outings, snap-happy journalists and sniping from the shrubbery, I'll not be missing much in terms of scenary here in Afghanistan.

Then again, given all the beards and sandals, perhaps the Lib Dem conference would have been more of a home from home.

It's heart wrenching to see all those horrific accounts of atrocities being committed by the Tyrant of Harare, and to hear first hand from exiles of the horrors at work.

Mugabe has of course long been giving African despots a bad name. Why be surprised if he continues to employ Ceaucescu tactics on his own people?

From far off London it's impossible to truly grapple with the evil at play and the terrors being confronted. Any words from this safe and distant desk are ephemeral. But if they catch on a breeze and someone might take note, I whisper this; take heart. Don't give up. An election that is unfought, howsoever justified by the price in blood, is always taken by apologists as an endorsement to the incumbent. A stolen election never can be.

As an army of shell-shocked Eurocrats and hawkers of constitutions ponder in full the meaning of the Irish No, perhaps they should do well to remember how this self-inflicted wound came upon them.

The Lisbon Treaty is the rebranded EU Constitution; and that, the child of the Constitutional Convention. The process began with the Laeken Declaration. Heads of Government gathered in Belgium in December 2001 specifically to reflect on why people were turning away from the EU, and what made the project keep hitting the referendum buffers.

The irony is therefore precious.

Laeken said that the Union was "behaving too bureaucratically". It said that the EU needed to be "brought closer to its citizens". It talked of the need that "the division of competences be made more transparent". It called for "European institutions to be less unwieldy and rigid". It highlighted the importance of a greater role for national parliaments, more transparency and efficiency, and for simplification. These were the areas that led to loss of public confidence, and radical reform was needed, including the restoration of competences back to national control.

Those of us in town at the time saw the arrogance that the constitutional dream soon evoked, and how that reforming agenda lasted for a matter of days - until opportunism overtook realism, and the prospect of power grabs blinded the self-selected delegates of the common man.

What a lost opportunity. The EU, quite simply, has wasted the last seven years. It's time to go right back to the starting blocks.

24 hours is a long time in politics. A day after challenging the wisdom of some of the mayoral appointments (or to be precise, the salaries involved), I confess that Boris has now pulled a blinder.

He’s recruited a top businessman, Tim Parker, for a peppercorn salary of £1.  His team now features a key figure with real world management experience, at the cost to the taxpayer of a loaf of bread. Now that’s value for money.

Meanwhile of course, bad real world news for Prime Minister Gordon. If I were a betting man, I’d put money on a coup by Straw, and a Milburn premiership – with key cabinet places for the likes of Frank Field, Gisela Stuart and Bob Marshall-Andrews, followed by a General Election before the year’s out. But I’m far from convinced the New Labour goons so prevalent in the at-risk seats have either the nerve or the vision for it.

A little gentle and constructive criticism early on goes a long way.

What should we make of the salaries announced for the mayoral team?

Full credit (literally) to Kit Malthouse, Kate Hoey and possibly Sir Simon Milton, who are carrying out public-spirited work while not claiming for a second job. But it is a heck of a lot of money – public money – that is flowing to some of the rest of the team.

How are people in positions of authority credibly to cut waste and spending unless setting an example themselves? Are such mega salaries justified, especially on the cusp of a recession?

(And before anyone asks, I stood myself during the mayorals on a pledge of massively cutting my own pay packet; no jealous pots and black kettle naming here.)

So, a starter for ten; is a six figure sum really appropriate for City Hall’s new bigwigs? Or is it inevitable that the Mayor should continue with the corporate level of P60s found in Ken’s shredder?

To its credit, the Independent today carries an insightful review of the BNP's recent highly localised success in Yorkshire that falls short of the Pavlovian.

Since they quote the local Labour MP (Denis MacShane) in depth - whom I fought during the last election - I'll allow myself a counter turn.

While quite fairly noting factors such as immigration, the rejection of taboo, and a perception of 'unfair play', they might also do well to consider the basics of local politics.

If you have streets where the Labour vote is weighed rather than counted, but where noone has seen a Labour politician bothering to campaign in twenty years...

If you have the self same MP expending his past effort chastising the Conservatives for 'allowing' the BNP to get a hold, despite the vote coming from his own historic supporters...

If local Labour councillors turn to blanking the lead BNP candidates rather than exposing the false veil of human decency behind their party bosses...

...Then why are we surprised that in a handful of areas some individuals on first name terms with the voter should be elected to look after the bins?

Open Europe’s rather handy e mail press summary today identifies a half dozen papers carrying stories on the referendum on the other side of St George’s Channel. “Don’t disturb the Irish with bad policies” seems to be the Commission’s order of the day, at least while the plebiscite is on.

All the more reason, don’t you think, to have a referendum in this country, if we can get a dozen weeks of the Commission and the European Parliament going out of their way to be, if not nice, then at least harmoniously quiet towards us?

After all, last time the UK came anywhere even slightly close to running a surplus with our EU subs money happened to be in the run up to the 1975 vote. Strange that. Perhaps we should have EU referenda more often.

Is crime a political issue? Has it been a mistake for the Conservatives to highlight it as a keystone policy? Or is it something that will propel Boris to the mayoral office, and give Paddick at least an honourable poll showing?

I’ve gone on record in the past as suggesting the National Police Memorial should receive better official attention. It could be a centre point for the Mayor to commemorate those who fall in the public service. It could play a small mirror to the annual celebration that takes part in Washington DC, honouring the role played by those who preserve the public peace, sometimes at great personal risk.

That’s by the by. Walking past the memorial today, it looks like someone has tried to break into the lock, and then tried jemmying open the door that allows access to the commemorative book. I know Lord Foster designed it, but I’m pretty certain a missing chunk of masonry and a gaping hole wasn’t part of the blueprint.

If I’m right, then this act of vandalism is a national disgrace. If a memorial to the fallen police, lying around the corner from the Prime Minister’s own house, isn’t safe, then maybe crime really is a burning issue of the day.

Dan Hannan writes a typically perspicacious piece on the latest developments in the Republic. But perhaps there’s even more to Bertie Ahern’s resignation as Irish PM than meets the eye.

In quitting ahead of the worst of a scandal, it’s of course true that he has deflected some anti-establishment ballots from being set alongside the No tally on EU referendum poll day. Yet in so doing, he could also be seen on the continent to be “taking one for the team”.

The Eurobourbons will remember this in the coming months. Some key new posts open up with the Lisbon Treaty, including last time I checked the small print the Chairmanship of the Eurozone, but also the coveted new Council Presidency.

I suspect then we now know the name of the candidate who will be our first ‘President of Europe’ once the EU Constitution finally gets ratified. A former small country leader, who will be seen as a player in bulldozing European integration through. Blair seems set to be stuck with the Middle East job for some time yet.

A work colleague has just passed by, saying he’s off to listen to Blair speak at Westminster Cathedral (i.e the Roman Catholic place). What will Private Eye make of it all?

The subject of the sermon is reportedly going to be on Faith and Globalisation. I suppose the man who famously declined to comment on whether he prayed with Dubya is qualified to speak on at least one of the two topics.

That’s assuming he is able to make himself heard. The Stop the War Coalition are saying they’ll produce a cacophony of bells, gongs and shouts to try to drown him out.

Another group intends to protest quite differently, in a dignified manner without making a noise. I quite like the zen idea of drowning his speech in silence.

So where should we stick our MPs? Or rather, those MPs who want their accommodation paid for by the state?

Yes, we could build a block of flats for them. To be cost effective, it would have to be somewhere like Brixton. Yet while it may be appealing to have to issue each one of them a Harriet Harman Suit on a daily basis as an introduction to urban living, the cost benefits already start to disappear in new build, security and transit.

So how about this place? The Old War Office building could continue to be part used for official state purposes. Another big plus is that the government could still make use of the Whitehall tunnels. The place has plenty of spacious rooms, waterworks and the like. Security is a given. Having once worked there, the place has potential (though I can’t speak as a plumber).

So the level - and cost - of EU red tape has gone up again? That shouldn't surprise us.

I recently worked on the sums based on last year's figures. Then, the estimate ran at forty billion pounds of bureaucratic burden. By my calculations;

It's the cost of a Millenium Dome every ten days.

Or enough to tear down Tower Bridge and rebuild it twice over - from bricks of silver bullion.

Or again, you could build 99 BT Towers every year from bales of ten pound notes.

You could drain Rutland Water, and at US pump prices refill it to the brim with petrol.

Or pop prime French truffles through the letterbox of Nottingham castle until the upstairs windows exploded - then repair the damage by making exceedingly shiny shutters through melting down China's gold reserves.

But then I only took O Level maths, and now the sum's gone up. Perhaps you can suggest better?

Perhaps we should combine Caroline Jackson's recent comments with the reality behind what is currently being force-fed to Parliament.

First, the Treaty of Lisbon/EU Constitution was the response to the Laeken Declaration. That text recognised that the pro-integration camp kept losing referenda, that people distrusted the process of  integration, and even stated that some powers might be better off run by nation states. The text, incidentally, seems now to have mysteriously fallen off Communities websites.

Second, during the Convention, a number of alternative texts - including a minority report - were submitted that did address these problems. These were subsequently compiled and can be found here  - even if the lead review seems to have been compiled by an depressed Lithuanian dentist. These proposals, which gained serious international support (including incidentally from a then-backbench William Hague) were ignored.

Thirdly, that the impact of these failures remains with us today, as proven in comedy form here.

So why the surprise that it's so difficult to take Brussels at face value? Not so much a case of troubled British oak as Europe's Dutch Elm, Mrs Jackson ...