With growing awareness on the subject our society now understands the difference between learning disabilities and retardation. We still have an extremely long way to go. Accepting the problem and dealing with the situation is not just hard for society in general, it's hardest on the parents. While some come to terms with it easily many do not know how. There is still work to be done and there is still a long way to go, these baby steps are making a difference. Parents however, need to know that instead of lamenting over the issues they need to start looking at the bigger picture if they want to do right by their offspring.

Playing the blame game

It's not your fault that your child is a slow learner. It's not your husband's fault either. Often couples begin playing the blame game when they find out that their child is different. This is very normal because they need to find some reason or attach some kind of rationale to the situation so they can understand it better. The logic behind this is: I did everything right, why is this happening to my child, where did I go wrong? You will never find an answer that will help you 'fix' the situation. There is no magic ingredient that you can put in his/her food to make everything the way you think it should be. Parents need to stop focusing on what they did wrong and start focusing on the right that they need to do now. With most slow learners, the condition cannot only be managed, you can put them back on the right track if you play your cards right and give them the right kind of care. So stop trying to figure out how this is all your fault because it is not. Learning disabilities are not something you can incur upon anyone; they're just a part of life. It's not your fault and your husband didn't do this on purpose either.

Stop trying to fix what's not broken

Your child maybe special but that does not mean you should act like he's broken all the time. Special children are emotionally unstable; they need constant support and reminders that they are loved. Our society does not especially comprehend the concept of tender, love and care. In that situation a child can feel very fragile and very alienated. The home environment needs to be such that he/she can feel like they have a place they belong to - the place where they fit, it's their domain. If you keep on acting as though there is something wrong with them you might be doing a great deal of damage without realising it. Children look up to their parents as the beacons that they have to follow. If their guiding system is telling them to crash land, what do you suppose they will do? The confidence levels of a special child are already on an all time low. They need to be told that they can achieve anything that they like. It is true that they might have problems and those problems can take a toll on the parents but keep your apprehensions to yourself.

Stick to one treatment

The worst mistake you can make is bounce between treatments. Parents are very desperate creatures when it comes to their children. They want the best for their blood and they want to help them create a life where they are always happy. At times, it's often seen in our society that when a treatment does not immediately work parents start looking at other options. Please do not do that. If you want to get a homeopathic treatment then stick to it, if you believe allopathic medication works better then use it. Do not fluctuate between medications and do not give your child more than one kind of medication at a time. You're overdosing your kid on ingredients that will drain him/her and have extremely detrimental effects in the long run. Ideally, parents should go and take a very thorough look at the treatment options that are available for their child and then make an informed choice what path they want to follow. You cannot pump a little adolescent body full of a variety of different substances and expect it to function normally. Medicines need to be tapered off if you are discontinuing them; simply taking your child off of the medication one fine day is a terrible idea.

Avoid the witch doctors

Your son or daughter does not have a jinn possessing her. You cannot beat a demon out of your child. Paying some baba a lot of money will not fix your child. Please stop looking for voodoo solutions and black magic options. They will not work. Focus instead on trying to help your child through constructive methods like playing games with him/her or studying with them if they need help. The miracle would be if you do your job as a parent right and help your child when he/she needs it the most. Don't think that you can buy a quick fix by paying a lot of money and it will make everything better. There has never been a documented case of any child going to sleep special and waking up a genius, they have problems and they need help to get through those problems. You, as a parent, need to grow up and take responsibility. Please do not try to buy God, it doesn't work that way and in the end all you will do is lose whatever faith you had to begin with because when the magical taveez does not work you will blame God for not helping you.

Get help now!

Find someone to talk to and do it quick. As a mother or a father you need to have someone who can help you deal with your situation. The ideal way would be to get therapy (no it is not just for crazy people). People who shy away from that idea can also find other parents like them through doctors and share their experiences and find out solutions. Don't assume that you will be able to deal with everything and you will know how to make everything work out. There will be times when you will be completely clueless and you will have no idea how to help your child. Those times will make you feel nothing short of terrible. Having someone who understands the situation and can empathise can go a long way in helping you deal with your issues and ergo deal with the ones your child is having.

Ignore the relatives

The worst people to deal with if you have a special child are your relatives. The rest of the world can be easily forgotten; the society is full of ignorant people you don't have to care about, but your own relatives are a different story. The best way to deal with their ignorance is to ignore it. Repeatedly trying to help your extended family understand that there's nothing wrong with your child and that he's just a little different will not work. The very simple reason for this is that your problems do not affect their lives. The only people who will want to understand your situation are the ones who care about you deeply. So please just ignore the ones you meet over weddings and funerals, you don't owe anyone any explanations. Live your life the way you want and focus on the well-being of your family. There's no need to grieve over the minute mental capacity or tolerance of people you would otherwise not even think about if you didn't run into them at a reunion.

She is tall, she is slim and she has got the poise. Yes, we are talking about supermodel Nadia Hussain who has graced our beauty pages many a time. This week Nadia is wearing makeup done by Mona J. She is a versatile model who looks stunning in any style and get-up.

Nadia Hussain has been around for quite some time now and is still going strong. Nadia is very selective when it comes to brands and she chooses to model only for substantial brands. Even after two kids Nadia is looking better than she ever has in her career. These days she is doing all the significant shows. Her charismatic presence on the runway is a sure sign of success for any show.

A qualified dentist, Nadia is a rare combination of beauty and wits. Nadia is camera friendly and knows how to flirt with the camera. As far as fashion photographers are concerned, she likes them all but she thinks Tapu Javeri and Abid Saleem capture her features perfectly.

Another quality which she possesses is that she can talk and speak quite confidently in front of the camera. It seems she has got this confidence from her aunt Tina Sani who is a well known gazal singer. You can spot Nadia on one of the T.V channels where she is hosting a talk show these days.

Nadia's entry into the world of glitz and glamour was a mere coincidence. She never wanted to become a model in fact she wanted to make her career in dentistry but destiny decided something else for her. Ace stylist Mubashir Khan recognised her potentials and introduced her to the style industry. She got to meet fashion pundits like Frieha Altaf, Imran Kureishi and Deepak Perwani etc. who started giving her work. Since then Nadia has appeared in countless beauty, fashion shoots and shows. Besides that she has also participated in major fashion shows abroad. She considers Iraj as her mentor and regards her a lot.

She knows how to carry herself and this naturally comes to her. Nadia is fortunate in the sense that all her life she's been surrounded by well groomed and stylish women so a sense of style has been engrained in her since childhood. As a model Nadia likes to keep herself in shape and when you look at Nadia it's hard to believe that she is a mother of two kids. She is also an example to million other women who think that their lives are over once they've become mothers.

In her daily life Nadia does not wear much makeup and dresses casually - mostly jeans and T. shirt. You don't see her in perfectly blow-dried hair all the time. She likes to maintain her exercise regimen and eats a balanced diet. For Nadia, a healthy skin is the key to good looks. Like normal girls she goes to Sunday bazaar in 'chappals'. But whatever she wears, whether it's casual or formal, it's always tasteful and stylish.

She does not follow fashion blindly and likes to maintain her own style statement. She is one of those few people in our fashion industry who are known for their own individual style.

Credits:

- Photography:

Abid Saleem

- Model :

Nadia Hussain

- Make-up :

Mona J Salon-0334336307

- Cordination:

Thomas Fernandes

- Styling:

What is a phobia?

A phobia is defined as an irrational, intense fear of an object or situation that poses little or no actual danger. At first glance, a phobia may seem similar to a normal fear, but it is the degree to which a person is affected that determines whether that fear has become a phobia. It can generally be defined as the unrelenting fear of a situation, activity, or thing that one wants to avoid at any cost.

What is agoraphobia?

Breaking down the term agoraphobia gives us its literal definition. Agora originates from the Greek language and refers to an open space, most typically a marketplace. A phobia is an intensely irrational fear. This meaning suggests that agoraphobia is an intense and abnormal fear of open or public places.

Agoraphobia is a fear of being outside or otherwise being in a situation from which one either cannot escape or from which escaping would be difficult or humiliating. It is often precipitated by the fear of having a panic attack, because of which, people who suffer from this phobia tend to shy away from public or crowded place because of the social embarrassment they would have to face. And also because they think they have no place to 'hide' and prefer to stay confined in their homes because it is a 'safe place'.

Agoraphobia occurs about twice as commonly among women as it does in men. The gender difference may be attributable to social-cultural factors that encourage, or permit, the greater expression of avoidant coping strategies by women.

What causes agoraphobia?

The causes of agoraphobia are currently unknown. It is linked, however, to the presence of other anxiety disorders, a stressful environment or substance abuse. More women than men are affected. Chronic use of tranquillisers and sleeping pills such as benzodiazepines has been linked to causing agoraphobia. Benzodiazepines belong to the group of medicines called central nervous system (CNS) depressants, which are medicines that slow down the nervous system. When benzodiazepine dependence has been treated and after a period of abstinence, agoraphobia symptoms gradually abate.

Although agoraphobia, like other mental disorders, is caused by a number of factors, it also tends to run in families and for some people, may have a clear genetic factor contributing to its development.

What are the symptoms of agoraphobia?

The symptoms of agoraphobia include anxiety that one will have a panic attack when in a situation from which escape is not possible or is difficult or embarrassing. It is typically triggered by the onset of panic attacks associated with panic disorder. Approximately one-third of people with panic disorder will develop agoraphobia. This complication can cause extreme disability and interference in one's life.

The panic attack associated with agoraphobia, like all panic attacks, may involve intense fear, disorientation, rapid heart beat, dizziness, or diarrhoea. Agoraphobic individuals often begin to avoid the situations that provoke these reactions. Interestingly, the situations that are often avoided by people with agoraphobia and the environments which cause people with balance disorders to feel disoriented are quite similar. This leads some cases of agoraphobia to be considered as vestibular function agoraphobia.

Treatment of agoraphobia

There are a variety of treatments available for agoraphobia, including specific kinds of psychotherapy as well as several effective medications. A specific form of psychotherapy that focuses on decreasing negative, anxiety-provoking, or other self-defeating thoughts and behaviours (called cognitive behavioural therapy) has been found to be highly effective in treating agoraphobia. In fact, when agoraphobia occurs along with panic disorder, cognitive behavioural therapy, with or without treatment, is considered to be the most effective way to both relieve symptoms and prevent their return. In fact, sometimes patients respond equally when treated with group cognitive behavioural therapy or a brief course of cognitive behavioural therapy as they do when treated with traditional cognitive therapy.

Saree is alluring and practical, demure and tantalising. The saree is the most popular and longest worn style in the history of women's fashion. All over the world, women have found appreciation for the simple beauty and elegance of this attire. The word 'saree' evolved from the Prakrit word 'sattika' as mentioned in earliest Jain and Buddhist literature. Traditionally, sarees are six yards long and are draped around the body and over the shoulder. Wearing a saree in this fashion makes a very classic, elegant statement. Fabrics range from silk to cotton, pastel solids to flowery prints. Saree can be embroidered, tasseled, free-flowing or gathered. Saree has kept its popularity throughout the centuries because of its simplicity and practical comfort combined with the sense of luxury and sense of sexuality among women. Originally the sarees were embellished with threads made from real gold and silver especially for the use of the royal family. In modern times, this has been replaced by gold and silver-coloured thread, making the sarees affordable for women.

Recently, Shaiyanne Malik exhibited her latest collection of sarees in Colombo, Srilanka where saree is a traditional dress. Sri Lankan women wear sarees in many styles. However, two ways of draping the saree are popular and tend to dominate; the Indian style (classic nivi drape) and the Kandyan style (or osaria in Sinhalese). Keeping the popularity of saree in mind, Shaiyanne decided to hold a show in Srilanka. Her collection was called 'Mystique of the Saree'. The show was well received by the audience who really liked Shaiyanne's exquisite collection of sarees. "I made this collection of sarees especially for the show. I made around 80 sarees in different draping styles - Indian, Egyptian, Sri Lankan, Bengali, Parsi, Greek, Roman and African. I mostly did my sarees on fine fabric like silk, jamawar and chiffon. Along with traditional embroideries like gardozi, gara, kamdani, my collection also included modern net sarees worn with hats and jackets," explained Shaiyanne who also choreographed the show along with a strong and thematic narration by Sohail Malik. The apt background music was also selected by Shaiyanne. "There was an interesting blend of an African dance in one of the segments where we showed the interesting drapes that the Masi tribe wears or the Sudanese style of the toop saree. Other than that there were little snippets of dance to add movement and colour in the show," she added.

The show was also unique in the sense that all the models were local. "My experience of working with the Srilankan models was great. The girls were professional and accommodating. This was also the first time that I didn't hire any beautician from outside. The hair and makeup was done by my girls at Samanzar's bridal salon and they did an excellent job," told Shaiyanne who strongly feels that there is no garment more elegant and flattering than a saree.

According to Shaiyanne, there is definitely a potential market for Pakistani designers in Sri Lanka. "I think the government can play a positive role in facilitating designers by funding their shows abroad. Through my shows I always try to promote our rich culture to the outside world. And am sure if other designers do the same, (some are doing already) then we'll be able to portray a soft image of our country," she proclaimed.

Fish fillet 3 - 4

Ginger (grated) 1 teaspoon

Olive oil 2 teaspoons

Salt 1/2 teaspoon

Green chilli 1

Castor sugar 1 teaspoon

Lime juice 1 tablespoon

Spring onion

(finely chopped) as desired

- First of all put the spring onions, green chilli, ginger, sugar and 1 teaspoon of water in the food processor and mix until it forms smooth paste.

- Now add the lime juice and oil.

- Now rub this mixture on the fish fillets and allow it to marinate for an hour.

- After that place the fillets on a hot grill.

- Cook the fillets for about 3 to 5 minutes.

They say your home embodies your spirit and personality and that holds true in the case of Mrs. Tasneem Iqbal. Her tastefully done home speaks eloquently of her artistic skills. An artist by profession, she has been painting for more than 30 years now. Tasneem has done numerous group shows and her work has been exhibited in Dubai, Muscat and London. Her last exhibition, 'Wonder of Colours', a solo show, was held in February in Karachi this year in which she showcased a collection of her exuberant paintings. Like her paintings her home, built on modern lines, also reflects tranquility and energy.

"My husband and I built this house some fifteen years ago. We wanted a modern house with lots of space and light. We also wanted an interior with design attitude and an understated sophistication. We wanted to create a stylish environment but one that was warm and welcoming too. Our architect Mr. Shahab Ghani designed this house keeping our specifications in mind," explains Tasneem.

Talking about her contemporary home, she says, "It has my character and is filled with furniture and accessories that I have picked up from various stores and all over the world. While I am very choosy about what should become part of home, I believe in minimalism that reflects one's self." Her sense of individuality is particularly evident in her selection of paintings. "As I am an artist myself there is a lot of my art work in my home," she states.

Her elegant and spacious drawing room, done in peach puff colour scheme, houses some fine pieces of furniture. "I like good old wooden furniture and I prefer comfortable sitting. The low height sofas in my sitting area allow us to relax," she tells.

She has opted for a pastel colour scheme for her home. "We have picked colours that are soft and relaxing. It's very important to use the right colours in the right place. Colours can enhance or destroy the atmosphere of a room so choose very sensibly," she advises.

She likes to adorn her home with curtains as according to her curtains add a touch of elegance to the over all look of the rooms.

Her love of the eclectic explains why her favourite room is her studio where she spends most of her time. "It's my creative space. I can do what I like in it, mess it up, paint, and invite all my girlfriends for coffee. I just love my studio. My paintings are my most treasured possessions."

The lush green garden shows the inhabitants' keen interest in gardening. To this end Tasneem says, "We love the garden. My husband and I love doing the landscaping of different plants. It's an oasis for flowers and plants and we want to continue our quest to keep it in perpetual bloom."