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Feb
11
Colin McEnroe

Colin McEnroe

To Wit

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Giving Punters A Bad Name

February 7, 2010

There has been a lot of talk this week about how Gov. M. Jodi Rell punted on the state budget, and I think that kind of talk is irresponsible and unfair.

  • My Barber And The Field Of Dwarfs

    January 31, 2010

    The theme of this column is "How To Tell If Your Barber Is Running for Governor," although for the life of me, I'm really not sure how you would tell. You should probably just assume he is unless you have proof that he isn't.

  • Well-Financed Speech Crushes Free Version

    January 24, 2010

    Last week's Citizens United decision by the U.S. Supreme Court will have far-reaching implications here in our fair state, but — to help you understand this — I have to explain several key points.

  • Candidate Rudy's Tough On Deer, Puppets

    January 17, 2010

    First, an announcement: The season for killing deer on the Ridgefield town golf course runs only two more weeks. That's right, you have only until Jan. 31 to participate in Ridgefield's unique new combination of two cherished pastimes: golf and deer slaying.

  • Blumenthal's Not Exactly Comedy Gold

    January 10, 2010

    Even though I like Chris Dodd as a person and have on balance admired his work as a senator, I was happy to see him announce his retirement on Wednesday because I was running out of ways to make fun of him.

  • A Packer Fan's Wisdom For Tough Times

    January 3, 2010

    On the night of Dec. 22, 2008, I stayed up late watching the Green Bay Packers, my beloved Green Bay Packers, blow a game to the Chicago Bears. Not that I'm still bitter, but the stupid Bears blocked a stupid field goal at the end of stupid regulation and kicked their own stupid field goal in stupid overtime.

  • What's Really Behind The Horse Guard

    December 27, 2009

    They cut horses, don't they?

  • What's Motivating Joe Lieberman?

    December 20, 2009

    Here in Connecticut, if our U.S. senators were tires, you wouldn't drive on them.

  • These Are Not The Best Of Times

    December 13, 2009

    Do you get the feeling that Gov. M. Jodi Rell doesn't quite understand what people mean when they say, "I want a Christmas straight out of Charles Dickens?"

  • Why Dodd Can't Seem To Get Through

    December 6, 2009

    A couple of days ago, U.S. Sen. Chris Dodd called my cellphone because he was unhappy with last week's column, which he interpreted as a belittling of his accomplishments. I apologize for not answering the phone. I had temporarily lost it under the seat of the leaky and frightening car I currently use only for driving my dog around (the point being that once I have taken the dog wherever he wants to go that day, I don't get back in the car, which is why I never heard my cellphone buzzing in there).

  • Senator, Governor Are Worlds Apart

    November 29, 2009

    To those of you who think that governor and senator are basically the same job, I say: consider the lives lived by Christopher Dodd and M. Jodi Rell last Tuesday.

  • Royal Screw-Up Complicates Matters

    November 22, 2009

    As I behold the extraordinarily complicated electoral landscape of our fair state, I tip my cap to the Age of Kings.

  • Governor's Field? It's More Like A Rough

    November 15, 2009

    On Sunday afternoon, mainly because I was stalling about raking leaves, I wrote a closely reasoned blog post predictifying that Gov. M. Jodi Rell was going to seek re-election. By 5 p.m. the next day, I was officially Mr. M. Stupid Guy.

  • State Littered With Winners, Losers And Lamont

    November 8, 2009

    We'll begin today with a little quiz.

  • The Glory Days Of Liebercare

    November 1, 2009

    You know what was a great program?

  • The View From Inside The Worm Costume

    October 25, 2009

    On Wednesday night, the five people seeking the Democratic gubernatorial nomination gathered at city hall in Hartford and engaged in a fascinating discussion that I was not able to hear because I was next door inside a giant worm costume.

  • Voting For Leaf Sucking, Wary Of Necrophilia

    October 18, 2009

    As soon as we get these pesky city and town elections over with, we can move on to the more important business of Connecticut politics, such as necrophilia and whether or not Merrick Alpert is really Barack Obama.

  • Thanks To Focus Group, Guv Has The Answers

    October 11, 2009

    I have always been convinced that my governor, M. Jodi Rell, was a person of remarkable vision and leadership, and, on those rare occasions when I would start to forget, she would immediately appear in a television or radio commercial reminding me to wear my seat belt and telling me how to call 911 and urging me to experience even more of her leadership by "staycationing" in Connecticut.

  • Allowing Fake Platters Just Won't Doo-Wop

    October 4, 2009

    Because our attentions were focused on such mundane concerns as the state budget and the possible multiple meanings behind the name of David Letterman's production company ("Worldwide Pants"), few readers of this newspaper know how close the state came last weekend to an armed confrontation over doo-wop.

  • Budget Has Us Banging Our Heads Against A Fronton

    September 27, 2009

    I certainly don't want to get in the middle of what has become a very ugly war of words, but I feel I must point out a grotesque departure from the truth that came out of Gov. M. Jodi Rell's mouth at the end of last week.

  • Are You Ready For Some Political Wrestling??!!

    September 20, 2009

    I have some very important observations to share about professional wrestling as political speech, but while I am trying to think of what they are, it is my duty to inform you that several Connecticut Internet sites of vast importance — including that of the 2006 Republican Senate campaign of Alan Schlesinger — have been bought up by what appear to be Japanese companies.

  • The Curse Of The Joe Still Plagues Obama

    September 13, 2009

    Last week I warned you that there were worse things a lawmaker could do than play computer solitaire.

  • Sin Of Solitaire: Caught With Their Laptops Up

    September 6, 2009

    We may not be able to do anything about health care reform or Afghanistan, but I sense a national groundswell, a stiffening of the collective American spine, to crack down on the whole solitaire problem.

  • Super-Rich Forced To Inhabit Nether Regions Of The Merely Rich

    August 23, 2009

    According to several recent news articles, America's super-rich have hit a wall.

  • All The Wine That's Fit To Make Money Off

    August 16, 2009

    Seldom has a newspaper seemed so annoyed at itself as The New York Times did in a brief article last week. It began:

  • When The Normal Cyclings Of The Day Stopped. Forever.

    September 8, 2002

    His name was John Metcalf, and if you had noticed him at a party, you might not have sought him out for conversation, because he was quiet and self-contained.