David Cook has been in the limelight for less than two years, but he's apparently already burned out by reporters asking him the same five questions. Late last week, Cook posted a new episode of his webshow "Pork Beans" in which the singer interviews a rubber chicken (named "Crazy Legs") by regurgitating particularly inane questions he's been asked since winning "American Idol" in 2008.

Among the vapid queries:

"Is Simon really that mean in person?"

"What's the last year of your life been like since I won 'American Idol?'"

"Who do you like better from Season 8, Adam or Kris?"

"What are your thoughts on Paula Abdul leaving 'American Idol?'" (Whoops. I totally asked Kris Allen that question last week. So kill me, I still think it was newsworthy!)

On one hand, I think the video — entitled "A Ficus Flows Between Us" — is a rather sharp satire on the state of music reporting. Bad questions that will make for easy "clickable" headlines? Check. (Although no "Twilight" question, David? Tsk tsk.) Generic responses from the artist/chicken which could all be interchanged with each other? Check! Fake interest from the interviewer after each answer? Yep, he nails that, too. One could even look deeper into the video and note that the chicken can't respond until a hand (or perhaps record label?) squeezes it.

But on the other hand, David Cook should be careful not to come off as a jaded rock star. While I find the clip to be amusing, I could see how others might look at it and go, "Well forget that guy. I won't bother interviewing him when he plays the California State Fair next week."

The interview lasts for about four minutes and then second half is a series of outtakes. (Hmm ... I wonder where he got that idea?) So check it out and let us know what you think! Too funny or too bitter? Also, are there any questions David missed that you hope "Idol" reporters retire from their tired repertoire? I know I could live without the generic "Give advice to future contestant"s line. Yawn!

It sounds like Adam Lambert will be making his big screen debut this November. But don't worry, "Idol" fans. It won't be another "From Justin to Kelly" catastrophe (although I imagine there's a small contingent of "Idol" freaks who would kill to see a musical romance between Kris Allen and Adam Lambert). Nope, instead this disaster will be of the Roland Emmerich-fueled sci-fi kind, meaning lots of stuff will get blown up.

After weeks of speculation and coy remarks to the press, it has been confirmed by legendary Queen guitarist Brian May that Adam Lambert has recorded a song for the upcoming Emmerich opus "2012." In a blog post dated Friday, August 14th, Mr. May gushed like a total fan-girl over the track, which he heard while hanging with producer Rob Cavallo. Read his comments (in a British accent, for full effect) below:

"I have to say I was completely blown away ... it's truly sensational. In fact it's so obviously a number one smash, any bookie would be mad to take bets on it. I am not kidding. I'm not easily moved to jelly by male vocalists ... but Adam's voice reaches out with sensitivity, depth, maturity, and awesome range and power which will make jaws drop all around the world. Its an awesome performance. No doubt about it. The world of Rock has a bright new star."

You think he liked it? Seriously, I haven't seen someone freak over an "Idol" like that since ... well, since I interviewed Kris Allen last week.

So here's what we know: The song was produced by Cavallo, whose name you know from working with David Cook, Green Day, My Chemical Romance and — randomly — Paris Hilton. Meat Loaf's drummer John Miceli was involved in some capacity. We assume the tune will be rolling over the end credits after (potential spoiler alert!) John Cusack and his band of misfits probably save the world, and ... that's about all we know.

But rest easy, Glamberts! We are working overtime to get as many details as possible over the highly-anticipated tune. What's it called? Will it also be on his major-label debut album this fall? Will it be "Rock Gawd" Lambert or "Gentle Jeff Buckley Balladeer" Lambert? And how badly does Brian May want Lambert to be in Queen? We're making as many phone calls as humanly possible to get to the bottom of this. So stay tuned...

Move over Alexa Chung. There's a new morning chat show headed to MTV: "Wake Up with Kris and Jim."

Okay, not really.

But "American Idol" winner Kris Allen did express interest in co-hosting a daily talk show with me, provided his music career doesn't pan out. (As if.)

That was just one of the nuggets left on the cutting room floor of our four part "Kris Allen: Raw" interview, which premiered earlier this week. Although we initially posted about eight (super-focused) minutes of our chat, Kris and I gabbed for almost twenty minutes, touching on everything from sex toys to Danny Gokey (two things I never thought I'd see in the same sentence). Read more...

As Paula Abdul infamously wailed on "Hey Paula," "Where is God when you need him? Because this does not make sense!"

"Idol" fans across the Internet (myself included) had a collective Abdul-esque meltdown last night when news broke (via Paula's official Twitter) that she was leaving "American Idol" for good. For real.

The news hit me much harder than I expected it to, especially since we all assumed the "She's gonna leave!" chatter of the past few weeks was just an empty threat lobbed out there by her managers in order to drum up some publicity during contract negotiations.

In order to help you navigate through the pain, I've documented my bad day as I moved through The Seven Stages of (Paula Abdul) Grief.

1) SHOCK & DENIAL
"Wait, what? Paula just tweeted that she's definitely leaving? I won't believe a thing until I hear it from Fox. For all we know, she could just be attempting to rally the fans as a last-ditch attempt to get a raise! Or maybe someone hacked into her Twitter account!"

2) PAIN & GUILT
"I wonder if it had anything to do with money at all? Maybe she was just tired of being a punching bag in the press. Lord knows I've taken a ton of pot shots at her expense. Maybe if I said nicer things about her she would have stayed on the show. Oh God, what have I done?"
Read more...

Thursday night's "So You Think You Can Dance" results show opened with the top six dancing to "Send In The Clowns," but the song proved to be most meaningful to 29-year-old ballerina Melissa Sandvig and contemporary dancer Ade Obayomi, who the ones eliminated from the competition by the end of the tense hour.

Here's where I rant.

As adorable and likeable as the guy is, Broadway-loving Evan does not deserve to advance to the finals. Sorry, Evan fans! He has failed to live up to his promise week to week, even when dancing in his genre. The fact that the judges have started to inexplicably pimp him (after bashing him throughout the first half of the season) makes me resent his presence even more. Evan's got a massive number of fans who think he can do no wrong (how else to explain his staying power?), which scares me. To think that he could beat out a well-rounded, spectacular dancer like Brandon or Kayla? Hell to the no!

As far as the ladies go, I'm still not over Janette's elimination from last week. (I know, I need therapy.) I was almost as sad to see Melissa go this week. She was this season's real underdog, and her arc on the show proved that you can teach an old dog new tricks. (She also has a sparkling personality and drop-dead gorgeous looks, which didn't hurt.)

When I look at the two eliminated contestants, I think about all the memorable routines they've danced this season: "Romeo and Juliet," "The Age of Aquarius," "Breast Cancer" and Ade's gravity-defying flips. Now compare that track record with Evan, whose highlights can be whittled down to maybe one or two solos and a killer story about his brother from the audition episodes. Gah!

Okay, enough ranting. Let's dish about the rest of the hour...

Aside from the results, Thursday night's "So You Think You Can Dance" brought back last season's dancers to perform the four Emmy-nominated routines. What a treat to see last year's faves return! Will now has dreads, Joshua shaved his head, Katee is smokin' hot and Jessica was better than I remembered. For me, the biggest disappointment was watching Chelsea and Mark reprise one of my fave SYTYCD routines, "Bleeding Love." Having committed the dance to memory by watching it online about 5,000 times since last summer, I was distracted by any and every miniscule alteration. To me, the two dancers just weren't "down in the floor" enough. When they performed in competition last year, they glided from move to move. Thursday night, it looked more like they were bopping around.

The highlight of the show, however, was from "America's Best Dance Crew" superstars the Jabbawockeez! Their razor-sharp "Freak A Zoid" routine was a stellar example of why "So You Think You Can Dance" needs to do a better job casting hip-hop dancers next season.

What did you think? Did the correct two go home? And do you think Ade's leaked nude photos (which were not mentioned during the broadcast) were a factor in his elimination this week? And who do you think is the one to beat going into next week's finals?

Sure, Adam Lambert, Kris Allen and Danny Gokey have especially — how do I say this politely? — devoted fans, but only one recent "American Idol" contestant has a following so hardcore that some have dedicated entire blog posts just to his shoe size.

Anoop Desai sent fans into a tizzy when he tweeted the size of his shoe in response to a question. His size — a fairly unremarkable 10.5, if you ask me — quickly turned into a talking point on "Idol" blogs and message boards. Yeah, I don't get it either.

So congrats Anoop! You win the prize for causing the weirdest subculture on the Internet since little kids started smoking Smarties.

But a simple blog won't cut it. An auspicious occasion like this one deserves something ... sartorial. My first instinct was to create custom-designed sneakers, but I have no idea how to go about doing that. So I relied on my fallback fashion: T-shirts! I created a limited edition one-of-a-kind tee and gave it to Anoop when we recently caught up at the "American Idols Live!" tour in Los Angeles.

It was the least I could do considering he had just given me free "air-grinding" lessons a couple minutes earlier.

And while I had him there, I figured maybe he could shed some light as to why he thinks his fans have a foot fixation. Turns out Anoop was just as perplexed as the rest of us. "It was really bizarre. Like, 'What's your shoe size?' 10.5! And then it just went from there," Desai laughed. But it's all good with 'Noop Dogg who added, "Yay fans!"

I wonder how big Adam Lambert's feet are? Yikes, I need a vacation.

Okay, so Katie Holmes' big "So You Think You Can Dance" Judy Garland tribute was a big fat mess. Yes, she was lip-synching. And yes, her dancing was just a couple steps up from sitting. You could practically hear the Internet snickering around 8:47 p.m. last night as the routine premiered, but let's remember an important thing: It was for charity!

Katie never pretended to be a singer/dancer (although in a short interview before the performance, she did say she likes to do both) so why were we expecting the next Cyd Charisse? Mrs. Tom Cruise wanted to bring awareness to the Dizzy Feet Foundation, a non-profit Katie created with a bunch of "So You Think You Can Dance" regulars, and you know what? It worked. Ratings aren't in yet, but I won't be surprised if the "SYTYCD 100th Show Celebration" ends up one of the highest rated episodes.

If anything, I fault the producers for including Katie's routine on such a big night for the show. They brought back three Emmy-winning routines from past seasons, and this season's top 10 is arguably its most talented, so surrounded by all these stellar performances, Katie Holmes' "Soft-Shoe 101" stuck out more than Tom Cruise in Harlem. If they had premiered the performance on a regular results show, it might not have seemed as noticeably ... off.

I'm always trying to convert non-believers to the church of "SYTYCD" for its never-ending display of talent. The dancers are in top shape, the choreographers create unforgettable routines on a week to week basis (this season alone has delivered at least 10 [] jaw-dropping dances I won't forget). So to have so many people tune in for a lackluster vanity performance bums me out. I'd rather people focus on the three stellar routines from "SYTYCD" past (or the moving breast cancer dance which premiered Wednesday) and just file this Katie Holmes space oddity in the same part of the brain that remembers K-Fed's Teen Choice Awards debut, Rob Lowe's "Snow White" Oscar duet and Bindi Irwin rap song on "Today."

Besides, the real tragedy last night had nothing to do with a celebrity trying to dance. Janette and Jason got booted last night! Now that's an outrage.

Raise your hand if you watched last night's "So You Think You Can Dance." Put down the tissues first. The show featured a breathtaking tribute to breast cancer, choreographed by Tyce Diorio, that left all the studio audience and all four judges (including guest judge Ellen DeGeneres) in tears.

"So You Think You Can Dance" usually offers one "serious issue" dance per season. Last year, choreographer Jean-Marc Généreux dedicated a Viennese waltz to his daughter, Francesca, who suffers from Rett Syndrome. In 2007, Mia Michaels created a contemporary routine about her recently-deceased father. Both of those numbers left me a little cold. I appreciated that the choreographers dug deep to express themselves, but in both cases, I found the routines to border on schmaltz-town.

You could imagine my trepidation when the pre-performance taped package rolled, and Tyce very solemnly announced that the dance was about breast cancer — specifically a friend of his who is currently dealing with it. And I must admit I rolled my eyes when Melissa was costumed in a nightgown and a pink head scarf. But as soon as the dancers movement began I was sucked in. By the end, I was a blubbering mess.

Tyce Diorio (who is also in charge of Katie Holmes' big dance number in tonight's results show) crafted a stunning routine that told the story of a woman struggling with breast cancer and a partner who was trying his best to support her. Melissa (the 29-year-old ballerina who I'm always worried is gonna break a hip) and Ade (one of my faves) nailed all the complicated choreography, including several insane leaps, jumps and falls. The amount of trust Melissa had for her partner was inspiring, and it added another layer of poignancy in the piece.

Sheesh, I'm rambling and rambling. If you haven't seen the dance, then by all means watch it.

And then let us know: When is the last time you wept while watching reality TV? And do you think this dance will change the results of the show? (We still think Janette's gonna take it all.)

Before rock critics start harassing me in the comments, hear me out.

Both Brooke and Elvis had infamous false starts on live television. Elvis freaked out NBC execs when he sang a few bars of "Less Than Zero" before ripping into "Radio Radio" on "Saturday Night Live" in 1977. Meanwhile, Brooke re-started "You Must Love Me" after having a brain fart over the lyrics on Andrew Lloyd Webber night.

Both Brooke and Elvis also love wearing hats. And both Brooke and Elvis released singles called "Radio Radio."

But don't assume Brooke's "Radio Radio" is a cover, kids. ("Idol" singers don't just do karaoke! I swear!) As Brooke White told us this week, the only thing her "Radio Radio" shares with Costello's is the title.

Ironically, this "Idol" title mix-up isn't the only one.

Brooke's first post-"Idol" album, High Hopes and Heartbreaks (out this week) also includes a song called "Hold Up My Heart," a name that's strikingly similar to another season seven "Idol" contestant's release, Michael Johns' "Hold Back My Heart." (Both Johns' and White's albums were produced by the same dude, Dave Cobb. Brooke swears it was just one of those happy accidents.)

But wait, there's more! Jordin Sparks' Battlefield also hit stores this week, just as her co-star Blake Lewis' new single "So Sad" debuted. The first line of his song? "Waking up in a battlefield."

[Slaps forehead!]

What's the problem, Idols?! Do producers hand you all the same thesaurus right after you watch your "America Hates You" montage on the elimination show? It's bad enough that the final "Idol" victory songs all sound the same. Let's try and keep the confusion down to a minimum post-Seacrest, okay?

(In all seriousness, though, Brooke White's new album is a fantastic throw-back to '70s singer-songwriters. And while she doesn't cover Elvis Costello, she does do a gorgeous rendition of the Kings of Leon tune "Use Somebody.")

Okay, not really. Don't worry, I'm not a delusional "Idol" fanatic. I just play one on TV. But we did share a brief moment at the finale red carpet when he told me he was a fan of my "Idol" recaps. (I still find it pretty insane that a contestant on the top-rated show on television was actually watching me make fun of him on the Internet for several months.)

So when I got a chance to interview the Top 10 at a recent "American Idols Live!" tour stop in Los Angeles, I was determined to get exclusive scoop on his secretive debut album. "Kris is my buddy — he'll totally give me the dirt," I thought.

I was wrong.

I didn't have a fighting chance, honestly. The dude is really good at dodging questions he doesn't want to answer. (Also possessing black belts in that particular martial art: Adam Lambert and Allison Iraheta — I think "Idol" trains them to do that.) Not to mention that the publicist told us we only had time to ask Kris two (only two!) questions because he was running late. (You can hear me mumble/whine to Kris "Two questions!" during the interview, because apparently I'm an unprofessional jackass.)

At the very least, Kris talked to me about ditching "No Boundaries," the victory song written by judge Kara DioGuardi that both he and Adam Lambert had to perform on the show's finale. And he followed through on his "I'll follow you on Twitter" promise. So it wasn't a complete wash, right?

P.S. — Nice jab at MTV, Kris! We'll keep that in mind when your first music video comes out! Just kidding! Maybe!