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conspiracies
Rush Limbaugh: Black Guys Control All the Banks and Media
Rush Limbaugh unleashed an exquisite blast of paranoia on Sean Hannity's show last night, predicting that newspapers, television networks, and radio networks will all go bankrupt (true), at which point Obama will personally take them over (crazy). More » -
Media Crack
Not-Secret Meeting Shrouded in Secrecy
In your flammin' Friday media column: Lola Ogunnaike's out of a job, the LAT's web editor's into a job, a WSJ writer brings da ruckus, and the secret newspaper meeting was not a secret we swear so don't ask any more about it or else: More » -
conspiracies
Glenn Beck Says ACORN Ninjas Are Trying to Kill Him
Just in case there was any doubt as to Glenn Beck's status as a paranoid charismatic who regards himself as a Christ-like figure, last night he predicted his own assassination on television. More » -
nsfw
Miss California Blames the Gays for Her 'Topless' Photo
When Carrie Prejean spoke against gay marriage during the Miss America Miss USA competition, she said it was the "biblically correct" thing to do. So presumably Miss California found scripture to justify this shirtless picture. More » -
gotcha journalismism
CNN Confuses Similar-Looking Bush, Obama
It's OK, CNN. We all have our suspicions about which world leaders conspired to launch this "spontaneous" swine-flu panic. But we'd pair Bush with someone from PRI. At least you "fixed" the "error" quickly. -
crazies
A Very Special Book-Burning Glenn Beck Tea Party
Here is a Glenn Beck 9/12 Project Tea Party meeting, in case you were wondering what goes on at these things. What goes on? Crazy ranting! More » -
conspiracies
Vicious Infighting Of Media's Online Cabal
Everyone's been dying to know what goes inside the elite, secretive JournoList, a listserv for smug lefty pundits. Now we know: The same pointless flame wars you'd find on the filthy Main Street/Wasilla internets. More » -
fox
David Frum: "What the Hell Is Going On at Fox News?"
Former Bush speechwriter and attempted GOP image remaker David Frum caught Glenn Beck Friday, and he didn't care for it. More » -
conspiracies
The Liberal Media Mafia's Secret Listserv of Smugness
Are you aware that there is a secret "listserv" populated by Washington's most self-important journalists, where they conspire on how to control the world via their influential ramblings? This thing is big! And secret! More » -
crazies
Congressman Is Obama Birth Certificate Nut
Oh, wonderful. The conspiracy nuts who think Barack Obama FAKED HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE have a friend in Congress. More » -
television
American Racial Progress Negated as David Alan Grier's Weak Show Not Renewed
Last Thursday, D.L. Hughley's unnecessary CNN show was canceled. Yesterday, the David Alan Grier-anchored Chocolate News ended forever. Is it possible—even in this Obama era—America's not ready for bad TV? More » -
politics
White House Pal Slithers Around Anderson Cooper's Conspiracy Questions
Were Democratic attacks on Rush Limbaugh coordinated with the White House? Watch Paul Begala hilariously duck and dodge and dance around Anderson Cooper's many futile questions about the matter. More » -
marketing 30 Rock's 'McFlurry' Episode: More Protestations of Purity">
30 Rock's 'McFlurry' Episode: More Protestations of Purity">30 Rock's 'McFlurry' Episode: More Protestations of Purity
Last week we totally harshed on NBC's 30 Rock for writing McDonald's McFlurry into its script in such a sellout-y way. But it was all natural, no ad money, just for fun, allegedly! 30 Rock's 'McFlurry' Episode: More Protestations of Purity">More » -
media
Media Wishes It Had Pushed That Obama Muslim Conspiracy Issue More
During the campaign, the polite and respectable liberal media steered clear of all the "Obama is a secret Muslim!1!!" stuff. Now he's given his first TV interview as president to Al Arabiya. Who loses? More » -
Hudson Heroes
America's Most Famous Co-Pilot Speaks
Hero co-pilot of the Hudson Jeff Skiles, who was right there in the cockpit when Primary Hero Chesley Sullenberger landed that plane in the river, is finally breaking his silence! He's in the tank. More » -
andy samberg
Rahm Emanuel Fun-Fact Addendum: Probably Loathes Andy Samberg
We'd like to take just a moment to officially append our 20 Fun Facts About Rahm Emanuel, Ari's power-broker brother who's expected to bring a little profane, alpha-male flair to the White House as Barack Obama's chief of staff. We'll call this Fun Fact #21: Was impersonated by Andy Samberg on Saturday Night Live in a skit eventually spiked by the show's producers, perhaps fearing it could overshadow any one of host Tim McGraw's own, more solemn stabs at comedy. OR for one of a couple of other reasons after the jump — where you'll find the clip as well. More » -
miley cyrus
BREAKING: Miley Cyrus Not Dead, Says Miley Cyrus
Miley Cyrus hackers continue to represent one of the fastest-growing segments of the American tech sector, returning to haunt the Disney superstar once again over the weekend. This time around, however, the ambitious intruder bypassed Miley's generically scandalous shirt-chomping escapades in favor of spreading the much more dire gossip that she was dead. Spoiler alert: She's not! But that doesn't mean she won't seek vengeance anyway. More » -
dan rather
Republicans Vetted Dan Rather Panel
So it turns out "crazy" old Dan Rather has turned up some actual, you know, evidence for his theory of a vast right-wing conspiracy to take him down at CBS News four years ago: CBS memos show the guy who led the "investigation" into Rather's 60 Minutes story on the president's Air National Guard service was appointed after getting "high marks from the G.O.P." Another Republican was rejected after being deemed not sufficiently right-wing by a CBS lobbyist and executives. Craven CBS News suits even considered having Rather's work reviewed by Ann Coulter and various other terrible right-wing demagogues: More » -
scandal
Obama's Naked Commie Mom Shock!
Hey we've reached the insane "Hillary Clinton killed Vince Foster and she's a lesbian" stage of wild far-right delusion. You heard that Barack Obama had an affair and crazy Michelle Obama shipped the mistress to an island somewhere, right? Hey, did you know Obama's real father was a communist? It's true, because some blogs found some photos of a naked lady that they are pretty sure is Ann Dunham, Barack Obama's mother, and they used brilliant CSI-style photo analysis to determine that the photos were taken by Communist "Frank," Obama's mentor. This is all proof that Obama is a secret commie. More » -
conspiracies
Monkey Tries Old CIA Trick to Dupe Authorities
Despite their obvious evil, the monkeys have a shadow army, a veritable fifth column of monkey apologist humans secretly working to secure their overthrow of mankind. Some of them even live with the hairy hellions! When the law caught up with California human David Grigorian—who was sharing his Van Nuys home with a marmoset known only as Cheeta—he was ordered to hand the monkey over to Game and Wildlife officials, since he didn't have a permit for the animal. Instead, the monkey sympathizer showed up in court this week with a photo of Cheeta posing with a Mexian newspaper to convince a judge that the vine-climbing menace had fled south of the border. More » -
conspiracies
McCain, Obama Reveal Entire Campaign Just Friendly Joke
Are you one of those crazy nuts who thinks there's no difference between the parties? Who thinks maybe that a small, elite ruling class just rearranges the nameplates every couple years to keep the rubes happy? Who suspects perhaps that the English Royal Family, along with the Illuminati, run a massive conspiracy to keep American political power in the hands of a secretive class of lizard aliens? Well then you certainly won't be dissuaded from your beliefs by the annual Al Smith dinner, an annual white tie affair at which the supposedly bitter rivals for the presidency swap funny funny jokes at each others' expense. DC has like three of these things every year too. Because partisanship is just a distraction to keep you from learning the truth! The truth that is exposed every year only by the cameras of C-SPAN! Oh, John McCain killed it. He was really funny! His speech is attached. Barack Obama's speech was actually pretty great too, his is after the jump. More » -
conspiracies
Who Is "Joe the Plumber"?
During the debate last night, Senator McCain repeatedly talked directly to some magical blue collar hero named Joe the Plumber. If this "Joe the Plumber" bullshit had any resonance (beyond with pundits who assume viewers and voters are so much dumber than them) it was probably tossed out the window once McCain said "hey Joe, you're rich. Congratulations." He said like at least twice, didn't he? (McCain always repeats his practiced zingers, which is a terrible habit.) Of course only in Matt Drudge's wet dreams did Joe the Plumber resonate with Ohio swing voters to begin with. He's a plumber, sure, respectable blue collar work. But honestly, right now, in this climate, how many voters exactly personally relate to a guy who's planning on buying a business? Oh no, Senator Obama might stop Pete the Locksmith from flipping his house and buying that Land Rover! And that was before it was revealed that Joe the Plumber might be a Republican plant! More » -
fox news
Geniuses Mike Huckabee and Chuck Norris Compare Depression Conspiracies
Don't be a sucker. Those complicated, long-winded explanations of the worldwide financial crisis are just a lot of big city hokum. Fortunately, your good buddies Mike Huckabee and Chuck Norris are here to set the record straight: It's a dark, shadowy conspiracy between the fat cats on Wall Street, the elitists in Washington, and the nefarious Red Chinese who are secretly stealing our oil off the Florida coast! Huffpo's Rachel Sklar learned the awful truth from Huckabee's new talk show on Fox last night. More » -
conspiracies
NY Sends Absentee Voters 'Osama' Ballots
Hundreds of absentee voters from Rensselaer County, NY, were sent ballots offering them the exciting opportunity to cast their vote for Democratic candidate "Barack Osama." Election officials are saying it's an honest mistake. Except that the ballots in question were supposed to be proofread by at least six people. So, in other words, election fraud! More » -
sarah palin
Sarah Palin Conspiracy Theories: The Ultimate Guide
Even false rumors can be revealing. It wasn't true that Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama was a secret Muslim, or that his wife hated white people, but the persistence of those claims in email chain letters, online comments and blog posts told you what a chunk of middle America feared, namely scary foreign terrorists in disguise. What to make, then, of the flood of conspiracy theories about Sarah Palin that are flooding the dark corners of the internet? We thought rumors about the Republican vice presidential candidate and her family were going to dry up last week, but since our last comprehensive factsheet they have just kept coming. There's some genuine scandal. But a fake pregnancy? Secret rehab stints? Maybe the Bush and Clinton years left the blue states dreading anyone who seems too country-fried. Or maybe the Palin's really do have this many skeletons in their closet! Trudge through the thickening swamp of Palin mud and decide for yourself, one rumor at a time, after the jump. More » -
idle thoughts
Bristol Palin: Filled With Secrets
We made a joke along these lines and then deleted it in the interests of succinctness but then L found a different parallel: the Palins come from Twin Peaks. More » -
conspiracies
Sarah Palin Wednesday Linkdump
- Reporters have been sent to Alaska! "The world arrived here more than a century ago with the gold rush and later the railroad," the New York Times reports from Wasilla. Yet one aspect of American life did not come to town until this week: the national press! William Yardley reports that frontier maverick Sarah Palin introduced culture war "wedge politics" to a sleepy little Northern Exposure town by turning the friendly mayoral race into a Newt Gingrich scorched earth battle for the soul of Wasilla. Then on her way out as mayor she campaigned against her own step-mother! ICE COLD. [NYT]
- Maureen Dowd says Palin's life is a mess, just like the lives of real Americans. Then she compares McCain to Mondale and Hillary Clinton which is about as bad as it gets in the Dowdiverse. [NYT]
- Levi Johnston, the kid who knocked up Bristol Palin and will now be forced to marry her, will attend the RNC tonight. [FirstRead]
- You know what words we love to hear? "The Eagleton Scenario." It's like a dark '70s government paranoia film starring Warren Beatty, right? Except this one is about how today is McCain's last chance to ditch Palin as a running mate before she's officially nominated by the convention. After that nomination, he has to clear his second choice with the RNC. Which shouldn't be a problem unless he picks his good buddy Lieberman! [Atlantic]
- The YouTube parodies are upon us. Everyone practice your funny northern accents! [Wonkette]
- Palin was basically not vetted at all as you may have imagined. [WP]
- Oh, Thomas Friedman is upset that Palin hates polar bears and loves oil. [NYT]
- Palin loves earmarks, especially earmarks that maverick John McCain hates. [LAT]
- WAS SARAH PALIN PREGNANT? WHO'S THE FATHER? WTF IS GOING ON? ARGH! [Cajun Boy]
- Answers to all these questions and more, tonight when Sarah Palin speaks to the RNC. Or not! [Reuters]
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faq
Factsheet: Sarah Palin
Sarah Palin! Do you know anything about her? Neither does John McCain! But now we must learn, because we will be hearing a lot of crazy things about her over the next month (unless she drops out). Which of these things are true? Which are false? WHO'S THE FATHER? We will tell you the TRUE things, below, and then we will speculate wildly as to the crazy conspiracy nonsense. It will be fun. More » -
monsters
Montauk Monster In Secret Mutant Army?
Ken Layne over at Wonkette has done some heroic digging into Plum Island, the Department of Homeland Security-run animal horror lab suspiciously close not only to Montauk, where our friend Monty washed ashore, but to a long string of terrifying outbreaks and hybrid animal attacks. We knew from the start of the Montauk Monster mystery that Plum Island was at the center of various conspiracy theories, but when one looks at the entire awful history in one blog post, one must inevitably conclude that, despite its shifty and inconsistent denials, the federal government is assembling there a fearsome monster army that, if left unchecked, will someday slaughter us while we sleep. More » -
conspiracies
Possible Motive in Anthrax Suspect's Case: Sorority Girls
Scientist Bruce Ivins—who committed suicide last week after learning he would be indicted in connection with the 2001 anthrax letter-attacks that killed five—was mentally disturbed and spent time in group therapy in the weeks leading up to his death. Now, the AP has learned, he was also obsessed with the Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority. In fact, this sorority-girl obsession might actually crack part of the case: More » -
conspiracies
Anthrax Suspect May Have Done it for Money
Scientist Bruce Ivins—who committed suicide last week after after the Feds told his lawyer he would be charged in connection with the 2001 anthrax mail killings—stood to make a profit off the panic caused by the attacks thanks to vaccine patents he held. "Ivins is listed as a co-inventor on two patents for a genetically engineered anthrax vaccine, federal records show. Separately, Ivins also is listed as a co-inventor on an application to patent an additive for various biodefense vaccines." More » -
scott mcclellan
O'Reilly Being Framed As Bush Puppet, He Says
Everyone is out to get Bill O'Reilly! First Scott McClellan, the elven former White House press secretary, said on MSNBC last weekend that he and his minions used to feed Bush administration talking points to O'Reilly and other Fox News shouting heads. "It was done frequently, especially on high-profile issues," he told O'Reilly nemesis Keith Olbermann following an appearance on Chris Matthews' Hardball. Then CNN covered the allegations as though they were news! Clearly a conspiracy is afoot. O'Reilly said on his show tonight that McClellan and MSNBC "look to be partners in this enterprise," while CNN picked up "garbage." So O'Reilly can presume MSNBC is in cahoots with McClellan simply because it aired and editorialized on his statements, but MSNBC can't say O'Reilly was in cahoots with McClellan even when McClellan himself says that's what happened. Watch this twisted logic unfold by clicking the video at left. -
marketing
Bonnie Fuller Exposes Obama's Secret "Celebrity" Plan!
Seriously, what's going on with these Bonnie Fuller columns in Ad Age? The deposed Star chief must still be desperate for cash. And Ad Age must be desperate for amusement, because the main thing these columns do is expose the fact that Bonnie Fuller—despite being paid astronomical amounts of money by several media moguls—is not all that bright. At least when it comes to writing about and/ or analyzing things. Her last column blew the big A-Rod-and-Madonna conspiracy wide open; and today, she reveals what's really going on with Barack Obama's "celebrity" strategy. The twisted truth must come out! More » -
jews The New York Times and Jewish Power">
The New York Times and Jewish Power">Bad Synergy: The New York Times and Jewish Power
The New York Times, ever ranged against the perpetuation of conspiracy theories, hosted a fascinating symposium in May called "Jews and Power." If this is how the Sulzberger clan distances itself against nasty but enduring rumors, then Times, Inc. stockholders might consider now a good time to sell. Bad PR! The event — sort of like the New Yorker Festival, except way more open about who's in charge — borrowed its provocative title from Ruth Wisse's well-regarded intellectual history of the subject, published by Shocken Books a year ago as part of its series of volumes dealing with explicitly Jewish themes. (Also not to be missed: David Mamet on why anti-Semites are limp-dicked liberals who can't close). Some of the conversational pairings were rather inspired: Shalom Auslander, the smashmouth Spinoza of upstate New York, kibitzed with Rebecca Goldstein, author of Betraying Spinoza: The Renegade Jew Who Gave Us Modernity, on what it's like to give up Orthodoxy and any chance of not being hounded to an early grave by your parents. Also, Washington Post journalist Warren Bass, reconstructed lefty Paul Berman, and Mideast analyst Aaron David Miller partake in this fruitful discussion: The New York Times and Jewish Power">More » -
conspiracy theories
The Handy Bilderberg/Obama Conspiracy Theory Widget
So. The bad Countrywide-related guy who just 'resigned' from the Obama campaign? He was at the Bilderberg conference, that fun meeting of the secret shadow government. And he's connected to sooo many other organizations that plot the global food crisis and control the churches, like the Brookings Institute and the University of Minnesota. We learned so much from this informative widget, courtesy Animal. We've embedded it after the jump. More » -
conspiracies
Secret New World Order Meeting Inspires Awesome Blast Emails
What do Thrillist, New York Magazine, HuffPo, Nikki Finke, Time Out, satirist Andy Borowitz, the New York Observer, Elizabeth Spiers, MediaBistro, NBC, Jossip, The Economist, and Jared Paul Stern all have in common? They are all afraid to cover the Bilderberg/NWO meeting in D.C.! This according to the emails received by those people (and many, many more!) admonishing all involved for failing to report on the secret shadow super-government currently meeting to plot terrible things in D.C. Thankfully, one media outlet wasn't afraid of these powerful kingmakers: Slate. Oh, wait, but what is Bilderberg and why is it evil? More » -
reality tv
American Idol Finale, Part 1">The American Idol Finale, Part 1
So, Archie basically won it last night, right? Girls and older ladies lurve that "Imagine" cover, and he'll probably get some sort of pity vote from people who were worried that he'd come down with the vapors. Was he having some sort of episode? The poor little irksome monkey looked like he was going to fall into the orchestra pit. Cook was pretty good, no? Though, his choice of inspirational original song was poor (Dream Big! Shut up!) and, while I liked it, I think that Collective Soul song may have been alienating for some. And boyyy did the judges not want him to win. They were all over Archie, as they have been all season, giving praise like "knockout," "best performance ever," etc. Why does 19 want Archuleta to win so badly? American Idol Finale, Part 1">More » -
conspiracies
America's Next Top Model?">Did Tyra Banks Fix America's Next Top Model?
America's Next Top Model?"> On Wednesday night's finale on the CW, Whitney Thompson became the first plus-size model to win the ANTM competition, a result met with tepid politically correct applause. But not from Gawker's readers: "Are you seriously not gonna say anything about the fact that some fat girl won ANTM over the one who got an excision?" one asks. "It's sooo unfair I don't even now why to make myself puke anymore!" Well, the outcome may indeed have been unfair. Some mean-spirited critics have noted that show creator and host Tyra Banks, a former supermodel, is above her fighting weight. And a friend of a friend of blogger Rich Juzwiak says the show's makers may have—shockingly!—planned on a plus-size victory from this season's very start. America's Next Top Model?">More » -
prodigy
Incarcerated Rapper Reveals Satanic Molester Conspiracy
Prodigy, the Mobb Deep rapper currently taking advantage of his incarceration to hone his blogging skills, is concerned about quite a few things: ritualistic murders, the 9/11 conspiracy, secret societies, missing children, and "NATURAL ENERGY LINES THAT CRISS-CROSS THE ENTIRE PLANET." How do these things all tie together? Allow Prodigy explain at length [Vibe], like a man with plenty of time to type and type and type and go crazier and crazier and crazier: More » -
aliens
AP Swallows Obvious Alien Cover Story
Federal agents secretly removed 67 bodies from a patch of New Mexico desert not terribly far from UFO crash zone Roswell. Clearly these are alien remains, but the Feds insist they are the skeletons of black Civil War soldiers, and needed protection from a crazy historian in an airplane, who is now dead. The Associated Press did not bother to dig for the Truth, which Is Out There. [AP]