I’m sad to report that Meaty will be taking an indefinite vacay from writing his weekly reports. It’s not just that Rob and Big is over for the season — Meaty is devastated his uncle Big has moved out of the house and can do nothing but sleep, scowl, and mope. In other words, not much has changed… Meaty is just milking this breakup for all it’s worth.

What up dawgs? So now you know Big’s secret — not only does he have a girlfriend (who isn’t Rob), but he has a baby. I think it’s kinda messed up Big waited ’til the kid was almost cooked before he shared the news, but she turned out pretty cute. I’m happy for him, I guess — technically I’m Rob’s bitch, and it was time for Big to get his own. Thing is, ever since the fay boy packed up, Rob’s been slobbering all over me. I miss my “me” time. So, I’m planning a stealth runaway mission. After I dose Rob’s Monster drink tonight, I’m outta here for a week or so. Don’t worry: I’ll leave a note saying I just needed some space and I’ll be back after I’ve sowed some oats. Some things, like taking a road trip and trying Peyote for the first time, you gotta do without your dad.

On tonight’s Rob and Big, poor Meaty got caught in a headlock by his tweaked out dad… He’s since gained his composure and is ready to tell his side of the story…

See that pretty young thing below? That’s what happens to a dude when his dad is bored. I swear, one minute we were playing catch, the next he’s massaging my jowls and turning me inside out. And Big, like he’s ever any help. He fetches for Rob better than I do.

Just once I’d like to see how those guys would handle a day in the life of Meaty. What if they didn’t have all their big toys to play with, forced to survive on just a tennis ball? Such is my life, but I guess I shouldn’t complain… While the guys were away in Cancun, I spent all the emergency money on kitty porn and wine coolers.

This week’s special message from Meaty the dog:

Grams and Gramps came to town this week, which meant that Master Rob kind of forgot I existed. Guess he’d been starved for attention (we do have a one-sided relationship at times).

I know I sometimes act out — poop on the oriental, refuse to exercise, rub up against stray ladies — but Rob has been the real animal lately, driving like O.J. on the freeway and causing Grandma Pat to cry. Though c’mon, she’s pretty damn gullible for thinking Rob was going to jail for being a sticker vandal. Anyway, April F-in Fools, suckas!

It was cool and all to have visitors, but I’m kinda glad they’re gone now. I was feeling awkward around Aunt Denise (I caught her swiping some of my food late night) and Gramps kept farting when no one was around… except for me, of course. You people have no shame.

Click here to see the latest additions to Rob’s family photo album.

A special message from Meaty the dog:

My Super Sweet 14th Birthday Party at Sky Bark was da bomb. Everyone who’s anyone was there, including Dick Van Patton, the dad from Eight Is Enough who now makes my food (to be honest, I like the taste of Mini Horse doo-doo much better).

Don’t tell Rob, but when he was putting the birthday candles on my cake, I snuck off to bone that cocker spaniel with the cute ass (you know the one… pink bow, seductive stare). Don’t worry, she’s on the pill.

Rob is the man (literally, I’m the dog) for throwing me such a rager. I really hope those poodles got home OK… talk about sloppy drunks.

Hope to see you next year at my 21st. Dude, I’m almost legal.

Calling all Rob & Big Fans!
In collaboration with Threadless.com, the original online tee shirt design community, “Rob & Big Loves Threadless” is an open call for design submissions to the fans. The theme for design submissions is “Let Me Tell You About My Best Friend,” and fans can submit and/or vote for their favorite inspired-designs on the site…. Read more…

If you watched the season 3 premiere of “Rob and Big,” then you DO know.

Have you seen the Ping Pong Song video? Those guys definitely know. I particularly like the attention to detail. Both guys have the exact moves down, and match our cold open shot for shot.

Also, if you did see “Poop in the Pool,” you may suddenly find yourself wanting a “Net Gun.” Let me tell you something…there is nothing more fun or more awesome than a device that shoots nets. For a while, we wanted to give “Net Gun” it’s own title card.

“Also Starring: NET GUN!” You know, with a stars and a swoosh and a hero shot of the gun. Ultimately, we decided that Drama and Bam Bam are more important characters, and probably deserve the title card more than Net Gun.

It’s great to be back on the air. I love this show. Tune in tomorrow for an adventure with racing turtles and Hollywood Boulevard’s version of Spiderman .

Episode 302: Racing Turtles

Tuesday, January 15th at 10:30 on MTV.

As part of the promotion of the release of Season 1 & 2 of “Rob and Big” on DVD, a tongue-in-cheek infomercial has been running on MTV for the past few weeks. One of the jokes in the special, is that all of the show is scripted, and that Drama is not actually Rob’s cousin, and that they do different versions of the show in different languages, and that catch phrases like “Do Work” are simply lines on a cue card. As supposed proof, a clip of Rob and Big wearing comical Mexican Sombreros and fake moustaches and speaking butchered Spanish is shown. A supposed “casting session” for Drama is also shown. Somehow, some people are taking the obvious joke literally, and are starting to worry that “Rob and Big” is all scripted.Not to worry people. Drama, aka Chris Pfaff, is actually Rob’s cousin. The two do not don Mexican sombreros and do the show in the worst Spanish you’ve ever heard. And no, thankfully, the show is most definitely NOT scripted. We couldn’t come up with the stuff that these two guys do and say, even if we tried. For a more detailed version of how we do make the series, you can read a fairly detailed description of how the show came to be and how it continues to work:

CLICK HERE TO READ IT.

Hopefully that answers your question. Feel free to post other questions about the series in the comment thread, and I’ll be happy to answer them!

3 DAYS UNTIL THE PREMIERE!

One of the things I often forget about as I sit in the edit bay with an editor, or worry about whether or not something is funny out in the field, or deal with the jillionth MTV conference call of the day, is how good Rob Dyrdek is on a skateboard. I know that seems impossible to forget, but when your sole mission is to build a funny show about two unlikely best friends, skating isn’t always the first thing on your mind. I’m usually thinking about the whole episode and the story beats and all of the other things that help to make this my favorite show I’ve ever worked on. But every now and then, I’m reminded that I’m working with one of the best skaters in the sport. Recently, we took a trip to Las Vegas for an episode about Drama’s birthday. If you’ve ever made the drive from LA to Vegas, you might recognize the abandoned water park that we stopped at to skate along the way. As if seeing Rob shred the dusty old water tubes wasn’t enough, we brought Danny Way along with us to raise the bar even further…

Holy. Crap.

Dude is crazy. It’s almost like the threat of death fuels him. I’ve met a couple of people like that in my life. When I worked on a show called Trippin’, we brought Mat Hoffman along with us, and he has a similar mentality: If something scares normal people into shitting their pants and bailing, people like Mat and Danny are in. Rob has always been adamant about keeping legit skating as a big part of our show. In this case, it might be the best skating we’ve ever had in an episode.

Looking at some of the pictures I grabbed that day, it was definitely the scariest from an observer’s point of view. I wish I could upload all of them here, but there are about 250. You’ll have to watch the episode to get a real sense of how crazy they got. It was insane.

Whoa.  So much for keeping this blog up during production!  Things got busy here in the Rob and Big office, and we ended up traveling to Las Vegas and Cancun and just generally busting ass to get these shows looking as good as they can possibly look for the best season ever; the massive FIFTEEN EPISODE SEASON 3.

It’s been an exciting season of shooting.  We’ve got some of the funniest stuff yet, and it’s rolling out on January 8th at 10:30pm on MTV.  Here’s a link to the trailer, judge for yourself:

http://www.mtv.com/overdrive/?id=1576238&vid=194923

Stay tuned here for inside info, reactions to episodes as they air, and all your Rob and Big questions answered.  Spread the word.

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Hi there, I’m currently on a hit MTV show. You may see me using a cell phone nowadays to call all my friends (who are also on a hit show), but back in the day I was practicing on this old school phone. To find out who I am, click here!