Sometimes a quote is so perfectly wonderful that we’d just rather just skip the intro, throw it at you and let you draw your own conclusions. And in that spirit, we humbly present Diddy’s “mind-imploding” analogy (in the words of our Best Week Ever cohorts) regarding his recent CSI: Miami cameo.

“The CSI: Miami team is like the Yankees. Me coming on the set, I’m like a Little League player with the Yankees. [David Caruso], he’s like Obi-Wan Kenobi or something! He taught me so much and let me ask questions and protected me. He’s like the coach of the team.”

In other words … filming a crappy crime show/blatant Law & Order ripoff is tantamount to playing major league ball for the highest-paid/worst-performing team in the American League — and getting coached by fictional sci-fi character??

Help us translate, readers. You’re our only hope.

In Touch mag claims Britney Spears has been dating the ex-boyfriend of her former gal pal, Paris Hilton! According to the tabloid, Brit and Good Charlotte rocker Benji Madden have “been on a few dates” and really seem to like each other.

So how’d the two (alleged) lovebirds meet?

Reportedly, Spears manager “made some phone calls” to potential suitors (including Chace Crawford and Michael Phelps!) and Benji “ended up being the most interested.”

We’d say something snarky, but we think we just vomited a little bit in our mouths. Allegedly.

UPDATE: Britney Spears’ publicist, Holly Shakoor, barks back with a full denial. “The claims made by In Touch are completely false,” she tells E! News. “There is not an ounce of truth to any of it.”

According to our friends over at MTV News, Danity Kane dropout (or should we say forceout?) Aubrey O’Day came in at #7 on the countdown to 2008’s Woman of the Year. Granted, the title’s sort of ambiguous (according to the Newsies, it has to do with some combo of recognizability, tabloid coverage and overall newsworthiness) but we were still rather surprised to see our girl Aubs squeezed in between Rihanna (#8) and Beyonce’s ring-flaunting alterego, Sasha Fierce (#6).

Wanna see who else made the list? Find out which lady won the coveted top-spot, plus read on to see see why Aubrey made the list, after the jump.

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Ever since we first heard Whitney Port was moving to NYC, we’ve been DYING to know more about her new posse of East Coasters — and (of course!) see how they compare to the Lauren Conrads, Audrina Patridges and Kelly Cutrones she’s leaving behind.

Get the 411 on Whit’s brand-new besties (from her sexy Aussie boyfriend to her glam PR gal pals!) by flipping through their pictures/official cast bios.

Oh, and when you’re done cyber-stalking — oops, we mean, “researching” — Whit’s new friendzies, let us know how you think these newbie New Yorkers will stack up to against our tried-and-true Hills girls!

(Photo: CW)

• Actress Leighton Meester says she luuuurves playing Blair Waldorf on Gossip Girl (well, obvi) and that she has amaaaazing chemistry with steamy Brit co-star Ed Westwick. What, like that’s hard? (Usmagazine.com)

• Paris Hilton has been robbed! Again! Fortunately, this time the thieves left the sex tapes in the secret sex vault (where they belong!) and went straight for the $2 million worth of diamonds. (Scandalist)

• Although Hugh Hefner had previously agreed to give his ex-”girlfriend” Kendra Wilkinson away at her wedding, he’s now having “second thoughts.” Yep, nothing creepy whatsoever about an aging swinger and pornographer playing the dual role of father figure/ex-lover. (E! Online)

• What are you doing New Year’s, New Year’s Eve? If you’re smart, you’re watching MTV’s live NYE special (co-hosted by Miley Cyrus and The Veronicas!) BONUS: MyCy will be ringin’ in the new year by crashing some random fan’s houseparty! Holla! (MTV News)

Both Bam Margera and Ryan Sheckler have proven they’ve got the moves — but in the end, only one can go down as the best skater in MTV reality show history. So who’s wheelin’ and dealin’ and who’s still learning how to rock n’ roll? Watch this video showcasing the stars’ gnarliest tricks then let us know which skaterboy is your all-time fave!

You probably remember Adam Brock as the amazing, high-strung, High School Musical: On Ice-loving ad manager from MTV’s The Paper. But now that his days at The Circuit are over and done with, the former Homecoming King sez he’s no longer interested in pursuing a career in journalism.

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We’ve all seen 30 Rock parade out the guest stars this season in the (apparently misguided) hopes of boosting ratings. And while Oprah and Jennifer Aniston’s cameos failed to attract viewers to the too-smart-to-be-popular NBC sitcom, there’s one more celeb who’s ready to pick up where they left off: Sean “Diddy” Combs.

“I’m definitely trying to holler at Tina Fey,” Diddy tells E! Online. “Me and Tracy [Morgan], we’ve been talking, and we got a scheme up our sleeves. I’m definitely trying to get in on that in the next two years, for real.”

+ Think Diddy’s got what it takes to save 30 Rock from dying a slow, Studio 60 death? We sure hope so! Otherwise it’s only a matter of time before Tina Fey’s laugh-out-loud comedy gets yanked off the air — and replaced with (yet) another tired Friends ripoff.

In case you forgot, the premise of Bromance is as follows: Hills heartthrobs Brody Jenner and Frankie Delgado are searching for a cool dude to join their posse – in place of estranged bro Spencer Pratt. Fact is, ever since their falling out on The Hills (Brody and Spencer clashed after the B-man started hangin’ with Spencer’s nemesis, Lauren Conrad), the former friends have made it a point to keep their distance.

But now, with the premiere of his new show less than two weeks away, it looks as though Brody might be ready to call a truce.

“I love Spencer,” the Bromance star recently told Life & Style Weekly. “Trust was broken, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.”

But according to Brody’s trusty sidekick, Frankie Delgado, Spencer’s gonna have to do a little groveling if he ever wants to make it back into the Circle of Trust. “He’ll have to compete,” Frankie insists. “We’re going to have to put him through some tests!”

+ Can Brody and Spencer patch things up? Let us know whether you think the former BFFs will ever renew their best-broship!

(Photo: HBO)

• Entourage star Jeremy Piven shocked fans (and co-stars) by stepping down as the star of his hit Broadway play Speed-the-Plow owing to a “high mercury count” — a condition he attributed to his above-average sushi intake. Playwright David Mamet’s response? “My understanding is that [Jeremy] is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer.” Zing! (Usmagazine.com)

• Gossip Girl scoop: That creepy/icky Aaron character is never, ever coming back from Argentina! Dan Humphrey fans, rejoice! (E! Online)

• O.C. cutie Rachel Bilson continues to insist that her love life with hottie Hayden Christensen is uninteresting. We’d argue but we’re too busy hating her immensely. (E! Online)

• Meanwhile, Price Is Right contestant Terry Kniess continues to insist that he didn’t cheat to win the Showcase Showdown. He just happens to be SO good at valuating strange items that he was able to guess the exact cost of every single one of the prizes … right down to the very last cent. (TV Squad)