Keep kids safe during classes and activities

Gina Anchors sits nearby when her kids are at soccer practice. When her daughter, Randi, took karate, the Loxahatchee mother of two watched the lessons through a window.

Given frequent reports of teachers, coaches, and even church and Scout leaders being arrested and charged with molesting children, parents like Anchors say they can't afford to let their guard down.

The latest incident occurred Monday, when authorities charged piano teacher David Layman with fondling a 7-year-old Weston boy during a lesson at the child's home. The well liked instructor also teaches at Imagine Charter School in Weston and the Arts Academy of Hollywood.

"In this day and age, I stay for everything," said Anchors, who does not know Layman. "I see parents who leave their kids and I cringe. I would never sign my kids up for anything where I couldn't watch."

Child safety advocates say parents should be vigilant. To guard against potential abuse, they suggest parents:

•Find classes, teachers or coaches who allow parents to observe activities.

•Educate children about their bodies, inappropriate touch and saying 'no' to an adult who crosses that boundary.

•Believe your child if they make a complaint, then investigate by going to the police or school.

•Check a teacher's credentials and references.

•In some cases, conduct background checks available through online services or public records. You can use resources available here.

Such simple steps are a good way to keep children safe -- and protect teachers and coaches from false allegations that can destroy a career or reputation, experts said.

"One of the best things a parent can do is give information to a child beforehand, talking about right touch and wrong touch before they bring people into their house," said Manny Gonzalez-Abreu, a therapist and coordinator of family support services at the Mailman Segal Institute at Nova Southeastern University in Davie. He advises parents to take their child's concerns seriously, but to stay calm.

"A lot of damage from these type of incidents occurs from the reaction of the people around the child. The child thinks, 'I must have done something wrong,'" said Gonzalez-Abreu.

Today, any kind of touch can be reason for suspicion. At the same time, children are involved in more extracurricular activities, many involving physical interaction between a student and teacher or coach.

Piano teachers position a child's hands or fingers on the keyboard. Gymnastic coaches spot kids on the vault or floor mats.

"Explain to children that no one has a right to touch them in a way that make uncomfortable, including adults they know and trust," said Denise Brody, a psychotherapist who counsels families in Boca Raton. "You want to let them do things, but be aware and be visible."

Gonzalez-Abreu agrees.

"When anyone comes into your home, keep an eye on them," he said. "No closed doors. Make yourself present, in and out.''

Teachers and coaches, too, benefit from open-door policies. And it will help a parent understand a coach or teacher's style, how they interact with a child, and what progress the child is making.

Mark Henschel, a private piano instructor and music teacher at Pompano Beach Elementary, encourages parents to sit in on the first lesson, especially with young children. If he needs to position a child's hands during a lesson, he tells the student beforehand.

"You look them in the eye and say, 'are you OK with that?' he said.

"I don't know of any teacher who doesn't have an open door policy," said Barry Weinberg, a private piano and voice teacher in Boca Raton and former president of the Palm Beach County Music Teachers Association. "I hope [the Weston incident] is a false allegation or a misunderstanding somewhere down the line. But if you're a teacher, how do you protect yourself? We all have to think about this."

Maggie Macaulay's 10-year-old daughter has taken piano lessons from Layman at the family's home for the past two years. Neither Macaulay nor her daughter ever felt anything was amiss, said Macaulay, a parenting coach and educator in Miramar.

She cautions other parents to "process their own emotions" before talking to their children. "Take some quiet time. Don't talk to your kids when you're in a highly emotional state."

Now Macaulay finds herself having that talk with her daughter.

"He's been accused; he's not been convicted," Macaulay said. "I think it's important that parents use this as an opportunity to teach children about boundaries and about being assertive without the name-calling or judgment. "It is a sad situation for everybody."

Kathleen Kernicky can be reached at kkernicky@sun-sentinel.com or 954-385-7907.

Stay Safe appears every Saturday in the Local section and online at Sun-Sentinel.com/crime. You can e-mail questions or column suggestions to StaySafe@Sun-Sentinel.com, or send them to Stay Safe c/o Sun-Sentinel, 200 E. Las Olas Blvd., Fort Lauderdale, Fl., 33301