Pregnant celebrities get @#$%ed!

Ah, Jack, thank you so very, very, very f**king much! I’ve been waiting for someone to say that for such a long, long, long time now. At last. Thank Christ, at last.

I would so like to find the f**kwit that came up with the term “baby bump” and bump a baseball bat so far up their anus their eyeballs would pop out of their pointy, pointy heads and score a home run.

Good luck to your wife over the next month, and a beer or five for you, Jack Marx. By gum, that was something that so needed to be said. You f**king ripper.

What a great show The Land of the Giants was.

For those persons that find attraction in the site of a lady with a swollen belly, may I suggest seeking out vintage copies of National Geograghic that focus on tribal Africa. There you will find not only women but children and even men with the same type of bloated abdomen. This is oddly enough, mostly due to parasitic worm disease.
Maybe a dose of Combantrin will quickly rid Angelina Jolie of her supposed baby bump. I hear she visits Africa regularly.

How ironic (spooky even) to discuss pregnancies and “The Land of the Giants” in the one breathe.

From the imdb website...(Heather Young) “was pregnant during much of the second season of “Land of the Giants” (1968) and had to either be filmed mostly from the waist up or was written out of several episodes altogether”.

How times (have been made to) change!

Unfortunately, these self-centred celebrity twits, being oblivious to everything around them, believe that procreating is something new that they have invented.

Why don’t to try and get an exclusive with New Ideas for your child’s impending birth.  They seem to have plenty of dosh.

And yet the beer belly, as much the result of good times and fond memories as the baby bump, is abhorred by todays fashion elite. I’m sick of the discrimination.

At least they make a change from the arrest photos.

Pregnant = racy photos of Mum only.

Post natal = Hallmark photos of Mum and Dad gazing lovingly and responsibly at serenely peaceful child.

Conclusion : Dad’s out frantically banging pole dancers all throught the last trimester.

Strangely, it was only after I became a dad that I suddenly started finding young mothers pushing prams along the street as sexy.

I can’t work out whether it’s because I’m suddenly in that market, or because there’s some gene that’s suddenly switched on when you become a parent that screams “now go and father some more...with someone else”.

(I should add these are only thoughts and impulses, I’m not acting on any of them )

Please don’t destroy my illusions. I want to be able to pretend that pregnant celebrity stories are good news stories.

No way are chickens the dumbest creatures in the universe. Please see Darwin awards for proof.

My theory is that the inconvenience of childbirth is responsible for the rise of human civilisation ... ‘No, honey, I’m not going to drop another one on the way to the summer hunting grounds, I’m staying put and you’re gonna be a farmer’.

You’d think differently if men could get pregnant.

Best for the forthcoming sprog.

Ahh but anyone can do it Jack. You too could be a celeb bumper if you emulate that dickwit thats taken up ALL the front pages. Why ,hes a this bloke and to be truthfull in a sleezy way I wonder if he has 2pissholes too. i get a sore arse just thinking about it.This will beat the cake for sure, Birth pics,first tooth,Bath,schoolday. ETC right up to its confused later life.A true media magnet

I don’t mind people knowing i’ve got STD’s, it means they know i’ve had sex.

Scary to think it only took two years for Britney to be pregnant to looking pregnant all the time.

I’m just fed up with celebrities, full stop. The fact that they’re breeding is depressing and the fact that they’re milking(!) this fact for even more $$$ is even more depressing. The only bright spot is that I know they have the nausea, mastitis, etc etc like everyone else.

The thought I have when I see photos or mentions of some celebrities is not of the miracle of conception, pregnancy and childbirth but the miracle of abortion and how it would be even a more satisfying miracle if it could be applied retrospectively simply by wishing it.

Studies show that 92.85% of kids who grow up with limited parental affection turn out to be completely self-obsessed wankers or local council aldermen. No, really. The cost to society is horrendous.

There’s also the argument of whether pure evil can be born, rather than as a result of poor parental skills. I don’t know what Carleen Bryant was like as a Mum but I tend to think there was nothing she could have done. Except maybe smother him at birth.

All the best Jack. My wife was as horny as hell with our first (a girl) but there was no action for months with the second (boy). If you didn’t get any action with this one (and you haven’t found out what sex it is), I’d be putting my money on a brother for young Declan.

You were in fine form with this one Jack.

I think the whole celebrity expose the body thing is cause of the whole generation of entertainers who seem to think that it’s nothing ever happened to anyone before them.

Congrats on the impending arrival, Jack.  I look forward to a blog about his/her first haircut!

Poor Declan...I hope he never read that!

The obsession with pregnant celebrities is simple to explain. A large portion of the population loves celebrities, for what they believe their lives are like - glamorous, excessive blah blah - even if it isn’t necessarily all that true. But there’s nothing more brilliant for these admirers, mostly women, to see their glamorous celebrity is the purest of state. Every pregnant woman is a pregnant woman. If your wife goes to the movies, she may wear a nice dress you bought her, or she bought for herself with your money. If J-Lo, Lindsay Lo or Brit Ho go to a movie, it’s in an outfit worth thousands compiled by a team of stylists and pored over by the media. But when these celebs are pregnant, they are pregnant. When they give birth it will be cut out of their stomach or unceremoniously squeezed out of a hole that doesn’t seem like it would fit a human. Nothing separates them in that scenario. It’s ironic but makes perfect sense.

I hate to tell you buddy but it’s unlikely your wifes body will return to exactly the same shape it was.  Having a full grown baby in your body does do some wear and tear (not to mention stretching).