delawareonline | Wilmington Blogs:Pulp Culture

Actual e-mail just sent out to News Journal employees:

Subject: 1/2 hour auction
Message: Ranch Dip - at my desk.. Starts now.

Calm down. It's just chocolate.

"Ever Felt Dumped On?" thankfully omitted Dave Matthews.

Nice eyelid

First Wilmington, now "South Park." I think Paris Hilton's "South Park" visit will probably be 99.9 percent funnier than watching her wash the dirty asses of Wilmington preschoolers. The cartoon Paris airs tomorrow night at 10 p.m. on Comedy Central.

Not so groovy

Being killed by an exploding lava lamp is pretty bad. It's even worse when it happens in your trailer home. And it reaches epic proportions when it makes national news.

Good luck surviving your family dinner tomorrow

A cup

A cup purported to be the one thrown at Ron Artest was put on eBay and bidding went out of control. Now there are tons of other joke auctions, including "Artest actual liquid spilled from the cup at the brawl." The liquid is currently at 99 cents with no bids.

Another joker is selling Artest's cup:

Not so great

I am pretty stunned by how brutal the reviews have been for "Alexander." A few samples:

Stone has made an excruciating disaster for the ages.

The more people Alexander kills, the longer and fluffier Farrell's wigs get.

The movie is a monument to egomania - and I don't mean Alexander's.

I miss Janet

On Monday, "Monday Night Football" played it safe with a tame football-related intro, a week after the towel (and jaws) dropped. It seems like the WWE is trying to be like "SNL," except not funny. Vince McMahon is so witty.

Eagles Fan of the Week

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

This is getting a little out of control. A day after U2 played concerts around NYC on the back of a flatbed truck, I swear I just saw Bono singing on the top of a Toyota Corolla in the News Journal parking lot...

Or maybe I just had too much NyQuil last night.

That's Dr. Antichrist Superstar to you

Professor Manson is the houuuuuse! A Temple University class had Satan himself teach a lesson Monday. Surprisingly, he did not eat any students alive. He actually had a thought-provoking hour with the kids. Ron Artest is scheduled for next week as a "guest ass kicker."

A place to be somebody

USA Today reports that the filming of "The Simple Life 3: Interns" is over. For some reason, their stay in Delaware is not mentioned as one of the highlights of the trip. Hmmm, I wonder why that is? Apparently the wild town of Wilmington did not leave its mark on the simpletons, I mean "Simple" stars.

In Conor We Trust

Bright Eyes is coming! Bright Eyes is coming! Two new albums in January, along with a tour stop at the Philadelphia Academy of Music on January 28. It's sure to be an acoustic-based show. Tickets on sale here. (Scroll to the bottom.) And The Postal Service just might be the opening act...

We were just a band...

I would love to see Paul McCartney flash his breast just to see a few million people puke in unison.

Jersey is #1 in something!

Camden has been named the most dangerous city in America. Hell, I could of told you that on my own. Just getting through that town to the Tweeter Center is like running through Fallujah whistling Yankee Doodle Dandy in a red, white and blue thong.

T & O

Sorry about the lack of blogging yesterday. I had a story dropped in my lap about the Terrell Owens/"Monday Night Football" whoo-ha. It takes a look at the Eagles and some of the near-nude cheerleader photos they have on their Web site. They are happy ABC apologized for the T.O. skit and wish it hadn't aired, yet they have their cheerleaders topless and pulling off their panties. Hmmmmmmmm. The story is here.

As for me, I didn't even blink when I saw the "MNF" opening, but if you are a regular reader, you probably knew that already.

Snoop-a-loop

After years of puff, puff, it was finally time to pass. Snoop Dogg worked out with the USC football team Tuesday.

Two days, two matches of tonsil hockey

What's in a name?

I don't know why it took so long for this to happen, but former George editor Richard Blow has changed his name to Richard Bradley. As he says, "I'm writing books full time now and it's important to me that people focus on the work inside the covers and not get distracted by a name."

No truth to the rumor that his first choice for a new last name was "Head."

Micky "Ds

Playboy is about to launch a "Women of McDonald's" spread. I don't know about you, but I've never seen a McDonald's employee that I want to see naked. Actually, I'd pay for them to wear more clothes. At least it's McDonald's, though. If it was a "Women of Wendy's" pictorial, I think Playboy would go bankrupt immediately.

Mozzer!

For me, Morrissey's "You Are the Quarry" is hands down one of the best albums of the year. Here is news that it's about to be re-released with a ton of B-sides included.

Also, a heads up for tonight: Morrissey be appearing on Letterman. By the way, Jerry Seinfeld was pretty funny on Letterman last night. You can watch his bit on coffee here.

Dismantling the bomb

For all you whiners, you can now listen to the entire new U2 album here at VH1.

Annagate

You can watch Anna Nicole's meltdown here if you missed it Sunday night. Her P.R. peeps are blaming it not on booze or drugs, but her eyesight: "She couldn't really read the teleprompter because she has bad eyes," says he lawyer Howard Stern. (I swear, that's his name.)

One night only!

Tonight you can hear Wilco live -- and be naked during it! A webcast of their show will be streaming to your computer tonight from San Francisco. (It starts 11 p.m. EST.) It'll be shown here.

Giveaway!

I have a copy of Seal's newly released "Best: 1991-2004" here and it's looking for a home. Put your name in the hat (comment box) and I'll pick a winner by the end of the week.

Dick campaigning...

in Milwaukee in September.

Ew

They say James Carville was crushing a raw egg on his head, but I looked at the video and that's not what happened at all. An alien totally jumped out of his forehead and he squished it, pushing it back into his Ichabod head.

I swear.

New tunes

U2 "How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb" -- U2's follow-up to 2000's "All That You Can't Leave Behind" might as well be called "All That You Can't Leave Behind...Again." They've stuck to their back-to-the-basics sound, except they've seemed to really revel in crunching up that guitar sound of theirs. It's a really solid album, with "Love and Peace Or Else" being my favorite tune so far. If you're a U2 fan, you're going to have to change your underpants after you hear this. If you hate U2, there's nothing here that will change your mind. Me? I'm somewhere in between, leaning towards new undies. Grade: A-

Eminem "Encore" -- I finally got around to listening to the disc this weekend. I found it to be on par with all of his other albums, except for his debut which I think is his best. "Encore" has some great hits and some embarrassing misses. "Mockingbird" is just crap. I'm sorry. Just because you feel guilty about being a bad dad doesn't mean we should have to sit through a poorly written love song to your daughter/future crackhead. While I like most of it, I really wish he did more songs like "Mosh" -- tunes about anything other than himself and his immediate friends and foes. Grade: B- (Listen to the whole thing here.)

I'm officially sick of Usher

I'm sure none one of you are watching the American Music Awards tonight, but there have been two highlights from the wall-to-wall crap-a-thon:

-- Anna Nicole Smith, totally screwed up, was barely able to talk.

-- Kobe Bryant had to shout his nominee list over a relentless chorus of boos.

Puffs

Front page news in the Sunday New York Times:

Kids and teens like cereal. The article is here. But there's no need to read it if you read the sentence that began this paragraph. That pretty much tells the whole story. Well, except that teens sometimes eat it when they're high(!?!):

"In fact, especially among teenagers, cereal seems to be losing its association with the first meal of the day - a testament perhaps to their rudimentary food-preparation skills, to their widely acknowledged 'munchies,' sometimes caused by smoking pot, as well as to their nostalgia for childhood."

Maybe the editors were "eating cereal" when they made their decision to put this on the front page.

Skanks a lot

Jack White on Delaware's darling, Paris Hilton:

"I mean, look at those people - like Paris Hilton! Who are all these skanks, man? Little girls are looking up to these girls, and it's so gross. Those girls have no dignity at all, and parents are letting their kids dress up like those skanks. But what else have they got? What are the other choices?"

Dirt McGirt Nap

Ol' Dirty Bastard is no longer with us. Even though his autopsy may turn up more drugs than a Happy Harry's, all signs point to natural causes. But then again, "natural causes" are different for someone with a drug-ravaged body. I guess that whole Wu-Tang reunion is on hold until, uh, forever.

Mugs!

Last week I went to my first ever (and probably last) Mug Night at the Stone Balloon. I am too old for that scene, but I got a good story out of it.

By far, the best and worst part of the night:

Around 12:40 I see my first disturbance of the night. Two women are being thrown out for acting up near the stage. I follow them out and they are shouting racist slurs at the closed door since the bouncer has already gone back inside.

I ask them what they did to get thrown out (as if I couldn't guess based on their language.)

"We went on stage," one of them says while her girlfriend takes a movie of me using her digital camera. She begins barking questions my way about why I live in Delaware. I have no real answer. It's bad when you're stumped by a nearly comatose, beer-stained college student.

From The Onion:

Political Blogger Mass Suicide To be Discovered In Several Weeks.

Street Fighting Man

Some Democrats are still not over last week's election loss. One New Yorker has taken to Craigslist to vent.

Work it

Would you have sex with 58-year-old Liza Minnelli to keep a $238,000/year job? She allegedly forced herself on her 56-year-old bodyguard. (That sentence just made me laugh for some reason.) But give the guy credit. You have to be a special man to come out and say, "Liza Minnelli raped me." Just ask David Gest.

Front page of the day

You don't see this too often when people croak:

Very simple

So it seems like Paris and Nicole laid low last night as far as I know. Rumors were they were planning evenings at Six Paupers in Hockessin or Bank Shots in Wilmington. Both bars saw big crowds due to the rumors.

I spent yesterday with people waiting for a glimpse of Paris, who is known for, uh, I'm not really sure. The article about my day is here. I'm stunned the headline didn't read: "Hilton changes diapers; cases of baby herpes skyrockets."

As a special "Pulp Culture" feature, I'll let you in on a little secret: I hung out with Paris and Nicole last night. Here's proof:

Paris!

Paris Hilton in Wilmington. I spent the day out there. More breathless coverage(and maybe a video if you're lucky) to come.

Trouble in Loopville

Scratch Magoo's has taken itself off the loop series in Wilmington after they broke loop rules during the Halloween Loop a few weeks ago. A portion of my article was posted online this morning. The whole thing will be in tomorrow's Life & Leisure section.

The gospel

Detroit-based blues/garage rockers Soledad Brothers threw down at the Khyber Saturday night. I first saw them open for the White Stripes a few years ago. Their sound is White Stripy, with a saxophone on many songs and a couple of extra shots of the blues in there. It was a good time even though some of the fans up front were a little too into it. Grade: B+

Golden boy!

Olympic medal winner/American hero Michael Phelps got totally busted for drunk driving in Salisbury last week. He's 19. And he's a hero. With a penchant for grandpa's old cough medicine. If you ever find yourself on Michael Phelps Way, I'd keep my hands at 10 and 2 with your eyes open wide.

Take a leak

The leaks just keep on coming. Eminem's new album was leaked last week. A little music fairy left a copy on my desk, but I haven't listened to it yet. Now, U2's newest is being listened to by thousands of people more than a few weeks before its scheduled release.

Not so incredible

Sometimes I think movie critics see "Pixar" and just give reviews. I saw "The Incredibles" this weekend with a 7-year-old. We were both bored for most of it. The crowd of kids and their parents laughed maybe five times -- tops. Yet everyone is talking about it like it's the second coming. The graphics were cool and the plot was great for kids, but it's not the crossover type movie that "Shrek" or "Toy Story" were for adults. Grade: B-

SFU

It's not a good day if you're an Eagles and "Six Feet Under" fan. The birds were exposed as the fraud that they are and 6FU is ending after this season, their fifth.

Funny Name of the Day

Above, center: Sussex County chairman of the Independant party Wolfgang Von Baumgart.

The WCL in the hizzy

Last night I went up to Philly to check out the new World Cafe Live music venue. The $15 million hall seats about 350, so it's intimate. Mostly WXPN-approved singer/songwriters play there. Nothing too loud or aggressive. If you get a good seat up front (we did not), it's one of the best venues in town to watch a show. If you are in the back sitting tight at a table reminiscent of those at comedy clubs, your neck will be aching by the end of the show.

We were there to see Ray LaMontagne, a new singer/songwriter that Rolling Stone has hailed as the "backwoods Van Morrison." He's a good writer and great singer. Terrific voice. Check out a few of his tunes for yourself. He's not too bad.

Janet Junior

So at last night's P. Diddy birthday bash in NYC, someone's breast fell out of their dress while posing for the press. Was it...

A) Paris Hilton
B) Tara Reid
C) Britney Spears
D) Billy Joel

The answer to the burning question is here.

Total mess

Good thing Ray Charles is dead because he might be a little embarrassed by "Ray." I checked out the movie this past weekend and while Jamie Foxx is great in it, there were moments that were so hokey that I just shook my head. The star of the 2-1/2 hour flick is definitely the music. It's some of the greatest tunes from one of the greatest whose ever opened their mouth in front of a microphone. But even with it filled with the good stuff, the movie is filled with cheesy flashbacks and dialogue that makes you cringe. Oscar? I don't think so. Grade: C+

New tunes

You can stream the Spongebob Squarepants soundtrack off VH1 and groove to new tunes from Wilco, The Flaming Lips, The Shins and more. The disc will also have "Ocean Man" -- one of my favorite Ween songs of all time. I wonder why they didn't use Ween's "Poopship Destroyer"? The disc hits stores on Tuesday. Your snotty-nosed kids will begin whining that they want to see the movie on Nov. 19.

Red all over

Above: Bush gets The Call from Kerry.

I spent the day talking to voters and getting reaction to President Bush's big win last night/this morning. In heavily Democratic Wilmington, just about everyone I talked to looked like they had just seen a ghost. Shock is not a strong enough word to describe it. Outside of the city, I talked with Bushies who were just about as gleeful as it gets.

Hopefully, now that the divisive election is over, we can get back to being fascinated by Britney's marriages, Ashlee's lips and J. Lo's booty.

World's smallest violin

R. Kelly is suing Jay-Z for not having honies lined up in his dressing room ready for their pee baths. Actually, he's suing him for $90 million for booting the troubled singer from their tour. As R's lawyer said: "It's punitive-damages bling."

The suit also had this whining to do: "The lighting of Jay-Z was consistent with his status as a headliner in terms of its brightness and energy; the lighting of R. Kelly was by comparison, lackluster."

Hurting America

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog pooped on the "Crossfire" desk last night. Some of the one-liners hurled by the dog:

-- "Listen, it is good to see that Jon had a real impact on you guys, a real realty check. Yes, Jon made some good points. Let's be better journalists. Let's book Conan's dog."

-- "This is clever. He's supposed to get the young people to the right, right? That's good strategy. Let's attract America's youth with a guy who dresses like Orville Redenbacher."

-- "Tucker, I'm just happy to be with you, you know? You're the one man in the country who is so repellent, you could make a woman want to sleep with Paul Begala."

Go push a button

Today's the day we've all been waiting for. That's right, a new episode of Gilmore Girls is on tonight at 8 p.m. on the WB! It's also Election Day and, according to everyone I hear talking, it's the most important election ever in the history of human beings.

Polling places and results are here.(It's a good thing we live in Delaware. From watching all the New Jersey negative TV ads, it seems like all their candidates are girl rapists and murderers.)

I'm voting today after work, but I'm still undecided. Post a comment of who you think I should vote for...

Who you calling Tubbs?

Coming to a theater near you in 2006: Miami Vice: The Movie starring Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx as Crockett and Tubbs. Before you start laughing, the movie is written and directed by Michael Mann of "Ali," "The Insider" and "Heat" fame. If this comes as a shock to you, it shouldn't. Mann was a writer on the original series.

Sponsored by:

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Actual e-mail just sent out to News Journal employees:

Calm down. It's just chocolate.

Nice eyelid

Not so groovy

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Good luck surviving your family dinner tomorrow

A cup

Not so great

I miss Janet

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Eagles Fan of the Week

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

That's Dr. Antichrist Superstar to you

A place to be somebody

Monday, November 22, 2004

In Conor We Trust

We were just a band...

Jersey is #1 in something!

Friday, November 19, 2004

T & O

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Snoop-a-loop

Two days, two matches of tonsil hockey

What's in a name?

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Micky "Ds

Mozzer!

Dismantling the bomb

Annagate

Monday, November 15, 2004

One night only!

Giveaway!

Dick campaigning...

Ew

New tunes

Sunday, November 14, 2004

I'm officially sick of Usher

Puffs

Skanks a lot

Dirt McGirt Nap

Friday, November 12, 2004

Mugs!

From The Onion:

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Street Fighting Man

Work it

Front page of the day

Very simple

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Paris!

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Trouble in Loopville

The gospel

Golden boy!

Monday, November 08, 2004

Take a leak

Not so incredible

SFU

Friday, November 05, 2004

Funny Name of the Day

The WCL in the hizzy

Janet Junior

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Total mess

New tunes

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Red all over

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

World's smallest violin

Hurting America

Go push a button

Who you calling Tubbs?

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