if you haven't noticed, my blogging has come down to, maybe, one post a week.
lately, i feel that all i write about and do is in defense of my name, my blog, and my politics. it's almost as if, everywhere i turn, people are popping up to write postings that criticize me and that scrutinize every damn word that i say. the really fucked up thing about it, is that my words are misinterpreted and maniuplated.
i am not the voice of all women of color, of all black women, or of all lesbians. there are a number of women who are writing, speaking, and yelling about the same damn things, yet i have become the target for the anti-white agenda. i don't mind taking the heat for all of us, but everytime i log onto my computer, someone has written a post, trying to prove how racists and fucked up women of color are, by using me as an example. "blackademic this, blackademic that......"
"blackademic makes me uncomfortable"
"blackademic is wrong in her viewpoints because all women need to work together..." (btw, the name of my blog is blac(k)ademic. i am not the blac(k)ademic, or black academic, or bla(c)kademic...or any other vartiation you can think of. please address me as nubian. thanks)
you can continue writing those silly little postings, but i won't continue to respond to them. i have allowed you to take over my blog, i have allowed my blog to become an unsafe space for my readers and for myself. i despise logging on to check comments or even write a posting, in fear of the next link to my post which negates my experiences, my life as a black lesbian, my intelligence, my hopes and my dreams.
i am more powerful than you can even imagine, too bad you don't recognize it. too bad your blogging thrives on pointing out the "racisms" of "black academic" and other women of color. too bad your goals in blogging are to hunt down the people who challenge you because you feel threatened. your whole way of thinking is challenged because of a blog posting some girl in the midwest wrote one fine morning.
i do appreciate the emails and comments and support from those who decide to back me up in what i say, even if, i had not asked for it. those people, are the reasons i keep writing. those people are the reasons why i do come back and i don't just delete this whole damn blog out of anger. i respect them and what they have to say. we might not all agree with one another, but we also RESPECT one another and our opinions and experiences.
i'll come back to this mess i call the blogosphere when i am good and ready. this has become a battleground where i am taking bullets for my people, but i can't keep getting back up only to be shot again...and again...and again.
peace
nubian
not "the blac(k)ademic"