I see the Texans for Truth are offering $50,000 to anyone who can prove Dubya served in the Alabama Guard. What ever happened to Doonesbury's offer of $10,000 for the same thing? If you announced a winner I missed it. --David L., Indialantic, FL
With all the current Swift Boat Vets and Bush Guard brouhaha I was just wondering -- did anyone ever collect on the $10,000 reward for confirming Bush's Guard service in Alabama? Thanks. -- C.A., Milton, MA
We wish the Texans for Truth luck. Though it's clearly in the president's interest to have his Guard story confirmed, two presidential campaigns have as yet failed to inspire the appearance of a single definitive corroborator. Nor did Doonesbury's $10K reward do the trick. Our Bush Guard contest, announced in the strip, inspired an impressive number of entries, but most proved distinctly un-authoritative, albeit surreally entertaining. Nonetheless, first, second and third-place winners were selected and their Doonesbury prizes shipped off, and GBT made good on his $10K contribution to the USO (he saw no reason why the organization should lose out just because a credible witness couldn't be flushed).
Can we read some Bush Guard testimony? Who won?
-- Patrick P., Lompoc, CA
Alas, none of the over 1600 entries we received qualified for the proferred $10,000.Three carefully and
arbitrarily selected runner-ups were posted on the Straw Poll site, where DTH℘ readers passed
judgement on them. Here are those submissions, and the prizes they have won -- followed by a generous
and representative sampling of the entries that overflowed our in-box. We truly appreciate the efforts of
all those who selflessly joined us in our efforts to take the Bush Guard story out of play.
FIRST RUNNER-UP (original of the 2-26-04 Doonesbury strip, signed by G.B. Trudeau):
I can't verify Bush's
presence in Alabama, but as a dental professional I am intrigued with his dental records. Generally, an
individual with a large bank account doesn't have any missing permanent molars without receiving a fixed
bridge (#3 is missing, yet no bridge is placed between #2-4, #2 has a crown, but #4 only has a three
surface restoration). The American public needs to see his posterior bitewings from 1973 and a current
series of bitewings to better judge the authenticity of the information provided. -- Barbara
Vanderveen, Galt, CA
SECOND RUNNER-UP (signed copy of Doonesbury collection Got War?)
Bush and
I were together during those months on a mission so secret it's taken years of therapy for me to
remember. We were on board an alien vessel during the time in question, emissaries of the Pentagon on a
successful mission to obtain "mental weaponry" far in advance of anything the Soviets had. Our memories
were then wiped clean, except for the deepest recesses of the unconscious. I weep for the president's
struggle with this trauma, and am coming forward to share my pain in interviews, book contracts, and the
like. God bless America. -- Matthew Wills, New York, NY
THIRD RUNNER-UP (fully-branded Duke swizzle stick)
I am an employee of the Nigerian government
Toastmaster's Club. I am in hiding while rebels loot my country. In 1972 I was a colonel in the Alabama Air
National Guard and flew many aircrafts. I was Bush's wingman. I was with him for his dental exams. I
warned him against medical physical exams. You must keep this in strictest confidence. If you wish to
pursue this business venture, then I shall need your fax and baking preferences. -- Dr. Abdula E. Fraudena,
Lagos, NIGERIA
Note: Management apologizes to those contestants whose testimony does not appear in
the following sampling. In some cases, recent FCC rulings were an
inhibiting factor. Essays over 10,000 words in length were not posted out of respect for those using dial-up
modems. Special thanks to everyone who offered to sweeten the kitty. If we'd had a winner and all of you
had followed through, the USO would have received an additional $16,590. If you would like to contribute
directly, write to: Edward Powell, President, USO World Headquarters, 1008 Eberte Place SE, Suite 301,
Washington Navy Yard, D.C. 20374.
As I recall, B.D. was also wounded in the first Gulf War. Why is Trudeau putting him through so much hell? Is he some kind of sadist?
-- Bill E., Alameda, CA
B.D. was wounded in Vietnam, where he was (erroneously) awarded a Purple Heart after cutting himself on a pop-top beer can. He did serve in GWI, but it was his comrade-in-arms Ray Hightower who suffered a leg injury when their Humvee was hit by an artillery shell. Ray didn't lose a limb, but the wound was serious enough that he was evacuated to a hospital ship and eventually sent home. The series covering his brush with amputation began on February 6, 1991.
In regards to your present strip with BD recovering in hospital, what the heck is a physiatrist? I thought on the first day you had just misspelled something, but now fear there is a great joke going over my head.
-- Richard Williamson, London, UK
No joke. GBT has been receiving enthusiastic e-mail from the physiatrist community, happy that B.D.'s relationship with Dr. Nitz has focused attention on their important, awkwardly-named and little-known profession.
A physiatrist (fizz ee at' trist) is a physician specializing in physical medicine and rehabilitation. Physiatrists treat a wide range of problems from sore shoulders to spinal cord injuries. They see patients in all age groups and treat problems that touch upon all the major systems in the body. These specialists focus on restoring function to people....
Physiatrists treat acute and chronic pain and musculoskeletal disorders. They may see a person who lifts a heavy object at work and experiences back pain, a basketball player who sprains an ankle and needs rehabilitation to play again, or a knitter who has carpal tunnel syndrome. Physiatrists' patients include people with arthritis, tendonitis, any kind of back pain, and work- or sports-related injuries.
Physiatrists also treat serious disorders of the musculoskeletal system that result in severe functional limitations. They would treat a baby with a birth defect, someone in a bad car accident, or an elderly person with a broken hip. Physiatrists coordinate the long-term rehabilitation process for patients with spinal cord injuries, cancer, stroke or other neurological disorders, brain injuries, amputations, and multiple sclerosis.
Physiatrists practice in rehabilitation centers, hospitals, and in private offices. They often have broad practices, but some concentrate on one area such as pediatrics, sports medicine, geriatric medicine, brain injury, or many other special interests.
Isn't this week's Sunday section out of sequence -- not to mention inappropriate?
-- C. Pulver, Hartford, CT
Yes. Due to boneheaded creator scheduling, this week's Sunday section appears before B.D.'s arrival at Walter Reed Hospital (the facility referred to in the strip), and while he's still at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany.
As to the unfortunate coincidence of the last panel's artwork (drawn in April) with the recent grisly tragedy in Iraq, Trudeau shares your chagrin: "Most Sunday sections are prepared five to six weeks in advance, and today's strip was unfortunately overtaken by events. To 'hand someone his head' is a common expression, not normally associated with actual violence. I regret the poor timing, and apologize to anyone who was offended by an image that is now clearly inappropriate."
Those newspapers around the country who print their Sunday sections late were offered a substitute strip.
Isn't this week's Sunday section out of sequence -- not to mention inappropriate?
-- C. Pulver, Hartford, CT
Yes. Due to boneheaded creator scheduling, this week's Sunday section appears before B.D.'s arrival at Walter Reed Hospital (the facility referred to in the strip), and while he's still at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center in Germany.
As to the unfortunate coincidence of the last panel's artwork (drawn in April) with the recent grisly tragedy in Iraq, Trudeau shares your chagrin: "Most Sunday sections are prepared five to six weeks in advance, and today's strip was unfortunately overtaken by events. I regret the poor timing, and apologize to anyone who was offended by an image that is now clearly inappropriate."
Those newspapers around the country who print their Sunday sections late were offered a substitute strip.
In a column called "Dissent Stinks if It Exploits the Pain of GI's", Bill O'Reilly criticized the current B.D. storyline, accusing Garry Trudeau of "using someone's personal tragedy to advance a political agenda". What's GBT's response to O'Reilly's assertion that he "crossed the line".
-- D.T., Hartford, CT
While it's hardly a secret that Trudeau opposes the war in Iraq, he doesn't view it as a contradiction to value the warrior -- and the sacrifices he's making in our name. In a response to O'Reilly, Trudeau pointed out that he's been doing it for years. During the first Gulf War, Trudeau wrote over 200 consecutive strips about Desert Shield and Desert Storm, and at the request of Army Chief of Staff Gen. Gordon Sullivan, the Pentagon assembled a show of those strips to tour in theater. Shortly thereafter, Trudeau was invited to Kuwait by a commander who had first read Doonesbury in Stars & Stripes in Vietnam and thought the cartoonist should meet his men. Upon arrival, Trudeau received two medals of commendation from different units in Kuwait. Most of the soldiers who followed the strip seemed to appreciate the attention paid to the day-to-day conditions of their lives, whether absurd or inspirational or tragic.
I'm shocked by the current storyline. B.D. losing a leg? What was Trudeau thinking?!?
-- Lela A., Portland, OR
This is what GBT told ABC News on 'This Week with George Stephanopoulos' last Sunday:
The strips are about sacrifice, about the kind of shattering loss that completely changes lives. In B.D., I've placed a central character in harm's way, and his charmed life takes a dramatic turn on a road outside Fallujah. In the opening panels, he's in shock, hallucinating, with voices cutting in and out. Medics call this time the golden hour, that small window of opportunity when lives are most easily saved. B.D. is medevaced out, and in the third strip, the point of view is reversed, revealing just how grievous his wound really is. We also see his hair, its presence almost as startling as the absence of his leg.
What I meant to convey is that B.D.'s life has been irrevocably changed, that another chapter has begun. He is now on an arduous journey of recovery and rehabilitation. What I'm hoping to describe are the coping strategies that get people through this. There is no culture of complaint among the wounded -- most feel grateful to be alive and respectful of those who have endured even worse fates. But for many, a kind of black humor is indispensable in fending off bitterness or despair, so that's what will animate the strips that follow.
I have to approach this with humility and care. I'm sure I won't always get it right, and I'm also sure people will let me know when I don't. But it seems worth doing. This month alone, we've sustained nearly 600 wounded-in-action. Whether you think we belong in Iraq or not, we can't tune it out; we have to remain mindful of the terrible losses that individual soldiers are suffering in our name.
What's up with this $10,000 reward thing?
-- A. Mitchell, Amenia, NY
For the past several weeks, trolling-for-trash journalists have made repeated forays into the continuing mystery of George W. Bush's Air National Guard service (to catch up on developments, read Salon's "Bad news doesn't get better with age", The Decatur Daily's "Former Dannelly worker: Bush not AWOL", The Nation's "W's AWOL Spin Update!", and -- of particular interest -- The Memphis Flyer's "On Guard -- Or Awol?"). With just eight months left in the presidential campaign, GBT is hoping to speed the disclosure process along by offering a $10,000 reward to coax a witness to step forward and confirm President Bush's story, thereby putting the whole sordid mess behind us. For details, go to our special Bush's Guard Service page. We also encourage you to take a moment to vote in our current Straw Poll on the subject.
Could you please make the TOTAL RECALL coupon (to recall Governor-elect Arnold Schwarzenegger) from the 9-28-03 Sunday strip available on your site in a larger, printable format? I'd like to mail one in -- and also forward it on to my friends.
-- W.H., LA, CA
The DTH℘ is pleased and proud to do its part to help keep California's new tradition of way-participatory democracy alive by providing this supersized copy of THE COUPON in Adobe Acrobat PDF format.
In Doonesbury last week Alex tried to organize a flash mob for Howard Dean at the Seattle Space Needle. Was that for real?
-- H. Jones, New York, NY
Initially no, eventually yes. In an interesting case of politics imitating comic strip, Alex’s flash mob plan was immediately adopted by Deanies, who boosted it on the Net. An estimated 150 mobsters and gawkers, along with local TV news crews, showed up at the Space Needle at the appointed time. For complete coverage, check out the Seattle Times or AP story.
What's up with Trudeau running a big Howard Dean campaign the last few weeks. Is Trudeau in the tank?
-- M. Mahoney, Sacramento, CA
Damn near. Here's the skinny for full-disclosure buffs: GBT and Dr. Dean were childhood buddies, having first met at summer camp. During a camp wrestling tournament, the puny Trudeau pinned the athletic Dean twice, an humiliation (attention, biographers) that has haunted Dean ever since. After attending Yale together, the two lost track of one another until Dean became governor of Vermont and told a reporter that he'd developed his sense of humor hanging out with Trudeau. Trudeau wrote him to protest, because during his teenage years, GBT didn't actually have a sense of humor. This may explain why reporters don't think Dean has one, either. Actually he does, at least around Trudeau, so GBT gave him $2000 (maxing out early) on the promise of relief from daily Dean-For-America fundraising spam, a promise that his friend has yet to make good on. Dean has also refused to soften his position on gun control, drug reform, or any other issue of importance to GBT, so a lot of good it's done.
Did you receive a lot of feedback on the May 4 "French" Sunday strip?
-- J. B., Lakeside, MONTANA
Mon dieu! You betcha. The May 4 Sunday strip, in which Mark Slackmeyer and Zonker addressed "France bashers" in French, inspired a flood of e-mail responses that was impressive in its volume, variety, and passion. Many of the more outraged correspondents wrote under the misconception that GBT is either a native of France or Canada. He was born and raised in New York state. A sampling of the feedback, pro and con, appears below. And here's a link, in case you missed THE STRIP AND ITS ENGLISH TRANSLATION.
Thank you for articulating what I have been feeling concerning all the France-bashing going on in the country lately. There has been so much across-the-board bashing (Democrat, Republican, whatever) that I had begun to doubt the appropriateness of my own outrage. Thanks for the laugh and the lift. -- S.P. Lee, Ivins, UT
Why don't you move to France and e-mail your strip back to the U.S.? It would lower the pollution rate in our country by at least 1 percent. I am saddened to see people like you take advantage of and abuse our freedom by using their public prominence to verbally "spit on" our
Flag and our Leader. I pity you and your ilk.You have only my scorn. -- Don S., Redding, CA
I believe that, because of today's strip you will join the Dixie Chicks in terms of treatment by America. Yes, your strip will no longer be played on C&W; stations! However, all I can say is: Je suis d'accord avec le 5/4/03 Doonesbury completément. -- Joe Merola, Blacksburg, VA
My name if French also, but I am an American! Where were the French while my brothers and sisters in the American forces were liberating Iraq? Complaining, because their business contracts would be null and void soon. Yes, they helped
liberate us from the British over 225 years ago (after our forces took most of the beating). That is once in two millenium. On the other hand, we have gone in to kick out invaders of France twice in one century. All we asked for was support, but had
it shoved back in our faces. If you love France so much why don't you just pack up and go live there? -- Steve S., USN
Thank you! What a great strip. Never have I been so ashamed to be an American as when I encounter "freedom fries" or folks who won't buy French wine. I was in France last year on business on the anniversary of 911 and our French colleagues were wearing black suits with American flag pins on their lapels. I cried my eyes out when the minute of silence was observed. Viva la France!!! -- Jen Rice, Seattle, WA
After twenty years of being a fan and buying all the Doonesbury crap, this Conquer-Monkey now knows it's okay to be insensitive and rude to people you don't agree with -- so fuck France, and fuck you. -- T. Englet, Houston, TX
Je ne ferai pas mal à mon copain qui m'a réveillé, je vais l'embrasser tendrement en public pour montrer mon appréciation pour son sens de responsabilité civile. Autant que j'aimerai vous offrir la même chose, je préfère compromettre mes principes d'internaute pour vous écrire ce couriel en but de vous féliciter sur votre commentaire. Vous avez raison, vous avez les couilles d'un Viking. Je suis canadiens, mais j'ai recenti une folle baffle sur mon héritage, ainsi que celui des américains de décendance française, au moment ou la population des É-U sonna la cloche sur les produits qui portent le nom de la France. Bravo, M. Trudeau! -- Dominic M., Toronto, CANADA
The U.S. is a great country and there's no room for bashers of the great U.S. What the hell is your problem? Do you not support this country? If you don't like it then move back to France. -- R., Woodinville, WA
Would it be too expensive to put this up with its translation on billboards around the country? It's getting spooky out there -- somebody needs to sound the alarm! -- M. Marmor, Chicago, IL
As Ann Coulter so accurately explains in her book Slander, the only thing liberals like yourself can do when discussing issues like the war on Iraq or the French sellout to Saddam Hussein is to call people names. That's of course because you are always so completely wrong on the issues and have
nothing else to say! Your strip shows how consistent you liberals always are! Name calling! What a great way to discuss the issues. -- Mark Bedor, Studio City, CA
Today's strip does make a good point about freedom. I always enjoy your strips -- they help leaven my conservatism. Yes, conservatives are open-minded and can and will listen to new ideas. Impossible as it may seem, we can and do think for ourselves. Keep up the good work!
-- R.C., Round Rock, TX
Ou êtes-vous si provincial que vous ne reconnaissez pas l'âne d'un singe dans le miroir? Vive the land of the free and the home of the BRAVE - America!
-- B. Priez, a patriotic Franco-American
As an American progressive who lives in Canada and makes his living translating from French into English, I gotta say I loved your anti-France-bashers strip. In recent weeks you have given me a way to show my U.S.-bashing friends that we're not all jingoistic, self-regarding conquer monkies
-- A.D., Kitchener, Ontario, CANADA
You probably get lots of hate mail, so add this to the pile. While I always despise your absurd strip, this Sunday takes the cake. My grandfather sacrificed for the French there in WWI, my three uncles served in WWII in different areas. Should the French be free? Of course. But free actions have consequences, and the French have showed themselves to be ingrates, morons and dirty dealers. We only owe them so much for our revolution. I am free to despise the French now, and I will boycott
their products, and urge my representatives to punish them in any way we can. I am not surprised this absurd, inaccurate comic comes from a Frenchman. -- John Cotter, Centereach, NY
Your bravery is inspirational in the McCarthyistic times we are going through, where even the slightest criticism of government policy seems to be considered treasonous over there. It's only in monarchies and totalitarian states where the word of the leader is unquestionable law. In democracies you're supposed to criticize the government and expose its flaws. That's the whole damn point of the system! Keep up the good work and don't let the bullies of the world grind you down. -- John L., Wellington, NEW ZEALAND
Found your May 4 strip to be very funny. Oh, I don't mean funny ha-ha. I mean funny sicko. I will no longer read Doonesbury, and am complaining to my local newspaper about this insufferable exploitation of their goodwill and the insult to myself and all patriotic Americans. -- Bruce Goehring, TX
I just wanted to say "Bravo!" for last Sunday's cartoon. Il faut dire la verité! Je suis américaine, mais je n'aime pas ce que nous faisons maintenant aux français. Ils étaient toujours nos amis, mais je ne sais pas pourquoi beaucoup d'américains pensent que nos amis ont besoin de faire ce que nous disons! C'est vraiment bizarre! J'ai peur que nous allons perdre tous nos amis à cause de notre orgueil. Bon journée -- Margaret Varner, Milledgeville, GA
Congratulations! Looks like you finally found a way to get people to read your work. Now you and your strip will be remembered for being full of hate. You and Saddam seem to have the same way of thinking -- do and say whatever it takes to get in
the news and the history books. -- Frank W., Phoenix, AZ
I adore the x on the end of my name, and the French heritage that goes with it, but lately I have caught grief for it. I've had people tell me that they have to boycott me as part of
an anti-France stance and tell me off for France's disagreement with the Bush administration's Iraq policies. Do I agree with this war? No. Am I less than patriotic? NO. Thank you for pointing out how xenophobic a vocal portion of America has become
and the utter idiocy of France bashing. -- Michelle Therese Genevieve Goubeaux
Say clown, where do you get off with "patriotic Franco-American"? You have always been against America. Your slimey-liberal anti-American views are well known. Why not get the hell out of here and practice your crap with the Canadians or the Frogs. And don't give me any of that 'freedom of speech' stuff. You intend to do harm to the American way of life. -- Sam B., SF, CA
As another Franco-American, your cartoon provided the one moment of glee I have had in recent months. As a woman with a French heritage, I have been hurt and horrified by the extent of the vicious and racist attacks on France -- not even couched as "the government of France"
but "the French". As an American, I am embarrassed by this type of behavior, which I thought would never return after the KKK went underground. -- A.P. Punzavitz, Annapolis, MD
When did Trudeau discover Mark was gay? -- Paul Ward, Oslo, NORWAY
Moments before Mark did. The talk-jock's sexual identity crisis was brought to a head by a late-night conversation with the ghost of Andy Lippincott, who dropped by Mark's studio on August 31, 1993. Several months later Mark outed himself on National Public Radio, an event which left Zonker severely traumatized.
Do you have to get special permission to use the Nike logo on B.D.'s helmet? -- D. Woolard, Vancouver, B.C.
We hope not. GBT takes it as a good sign that neither legal documents nor free sneaks have arrived.
You're not going to do it are you? Please don't do it! I can see it coming and I don't think I can watch it happen. Don't let Alex go live with her mom. It would just be too depressing. -- Michael, Avon, CO
Hmm, interesting story idea. We'll focus-group it. Thanks.
Re the strip of 5-26-02. Please PLEASE Help! A Republican friend of mind absolutely refuses to believe that 29 Reagan appointees were criminally convicted. "Of what?", he demands to know. Can you fill me in?
-- Brian C., Seattle, WA
Who were the 29 Reagan-era convictees, and what were they convicted of?
-- Lorenzo C., LA, CA
Number of Reagan administration era convictions in the Iran-contra scandal: 14 (two overturned on appeal).
Number of Reagan officials convicted for illegal lobbying: 2 (Michael Deaver; Lyn Nofziger, overturned on appeal).
Number of Reagan officials convicted in Housing and Urban Development scandal: 16.
Total number Reagan era convictions: 32 (the number cited in the strip -- 29 -- arrived at by subtracting the 3 overturned cases).
In addition, Bush pardoned Reagan's Secretary of Defense Caspar Weinberger, indicted on 5 charges.
Moreover, the record of actual convictions doesn't tell the whole story. Over 30 additional Reagan appointees resigned or were fired following charges of legal or ethical misconduct, including Secretary of Interior James Watt, Secretary of Interior Raymond Donovan, CIA Director William Casey and EPA Administrator Anne Burford. Many dozens more were investigated.
Contrast this to:
Number of Clinton officials indicted or convicted in Whitewater, Travel Office, FBI files, Monica Lewinsky, Bruce Babbit, Michael Espy investigations: 0
Asst. Attorney-General Webster Hubbell was convicted of embezzlement, a crime he committed before joining Clinton Administration.
Do you hate all Jews, or just Israeli Jews?
-- Susan Katz, Southfield, MI
Though e-mail responses to recent strips on Arafat and Palestinian suicide bombers was light, the mailbag here at Doonesbury Town Hall has been filled to bursting with high-energy responses to the series on Sharon which began on 4-29-02. We thought we'd share the following samples of this impressive outpouring of passionate commentary.
Your attack on Ariel Sharon was a sick attempt at political satire. You are sitting in the dark ages, brooding behind your easel, seeking meaning in a money-lust of hatred and blood.
-- Mark A., Phoenix, AZ
I enjoyed the series on the Middle East, especially the criticism (and similarities) of Sharon and Arafat. They say you laugh at comics not because they are funny but because they are true. This is definitely the case here.
-- Mona Fahmy, Geneva, SWITZERLAND
I do not find any humor in anything that relates to the Middle East melee. There are some things in life that should not be connected to anything humorous, however ironic. You owe me an apology.
-- Beatrice Kass, Santa Barbara, CA
With your backing of terrorists, remember the blood is also on your hands. President Bush said that you're either with or against!
-- Mark Manzoni, Cumberland, RI
For forty years, Israel's persecution of Palestinians has been nothing less than genocide Jewish-style. That life-long terrorist thug, Ariel Sharon, should be taken before the world court for his war crimes. Then hanged.
-- Ed Williams, Austin, TX
Sharon has shown superhuman restraint by not decimating the Palestinians. They deserve that and more.
-- Debra S., New York, NY
Your characterization of Sharon as an intellectually corrupt militaristic blowhard is an intrusion into complexities you're not conspicuously qualified to handle, even at the superficially sunny level of satirical heckling you're largely confined to.
-- Harold Skulsky, Northampton, MA
The jokes about Ariel Sharon are great! I want more please. You know politics more than politicians. Thanks.
-- Dr. Mike Fenberg, CANADA
You have proven yourself to be a raving anti-Israel asshole. It would be dangerous if you really knew a fact about the situation. We will let the world know so you are marked as an immoral person (or group of persons - if you work at this website you are guilty by association).
-- David Menaged, New York, NY
Keeping this type of Palestinian-favored anti-Israel type of "entertainment" will lead to your destruction. Beware!
-- Jason S., Portland, OR
At a time when the world seems to be a very scary place to live in, your humor is a very welcome relief. Thanks for being as witty as you are.
-- Jerry Schwartz, Calgary, Alberta CANADA
One day you will realize that making a balanced argument does not mean that one exists. Injustice was served in the universe by your strip.
-- Rik Heller, Dallas, TX
Your ability to parody stupidity in the behaviour of both sides is a quality sadly lacking in many commentators. Neither the Israelis nor the Palestinians need people on the sidelines mindlessly rooting for one side and villifying the other, as if it were merely a football game. A true friend of either side is a friend of both sides, and realizes that the destinies of both nations are permanently intertwined, like the destinies of blacks and whites in South Africa, or those of Nationalists and Loyalists in Northen Ireland. Many thanks, GBT, for telling it like it is.
-- Bob Faser, Mount Martha, Victoria, AUSTRALIA
Do you have any more of that interesting e-mail?
-- M. Miquelon, KC, MO
As a matter of fact we do. Here is a sampling of recent commentary on
Doonesbury inspired by the 11-11-01 Òfreedom of the pressÓ strip and the and 11-18-01 ÒThanks, evildoers!Ó strip:
Do you enjoy doing what you do, Garry? I dearly hope so. I'll see you in
HELL, and that's a promise, cause there is no way you or your "fans" are
gonna be able to avoid that particular fate. -- Nate Green
Thank you so much for the 11-18 strip. Truth is the first casualty of war. I
thought it was already in a body bag. -- T. Holl, Erie, PA
The 11-18 strip is beyond humor, bordering on slander and, I dare say,
treason. -- Robert Hill, Fort Walton Beach, FL
You have given voice to what many in the media have been too cowed to say.
You may now be on Rush and Drudge's hit list, but rest assured you'll be a
hero to the majority. -- Erika A. Herd, Piedmont, SD
Thousands of men and women have died to secure your right to be an idiot. I
just wish that you occasionally would choose not to exercise that right.
-- Matthew J. Burkhart
It's refreshing to know that someone isn't afraid of critiquing popular
media and trying to halt the mob mentality that seems to be brewing from
coast to coast.
-- Margie James
Keep spreading your hate and someday you will realize that no one will read
your crap -- I never did.
-- Janis Sheen
Democracy depends on a loyal opposition. I hope you will continue to not be
intimated.
-- Jane Smith, Kokomo, IN
Garry, the blood of the Sept. 11 victims is on your hands.
-- C. Andreas
I think the 11-11 strip was brave. As an American living abroad, from my
point of view I think you're more American than ever. Keep up the good work!
-- Eduardo Ferrero, San Cristobal, Venezuela
You're about as un-American as it gets. Your ink is based from sewer water.
-- George Brock, St. Augustine, FLA
Thank you for hanging on to democracy and evaluating daily events
independently.
-- Norine Kukish, Manchester
You are lucky to be living in a country where you can espouse your
rhetorical mind-numbing crapola.
-- Greg Wiles
Doonesbury should be placed on the front page of every newspaper in the
nation. You alone are not "scared" by the Bush people who threaten those who
speak the truth.
-- Laura Lelievre
If you weren't such a smug, arrogant jackass you might actually understand
how repugnant your views really are.
-- David Wilson, Portage, MN
Hey, I liked the 11-18 strip. Seems to me that the way things are going, a
little criticism is needed.
-- Corey Manley, San Luis Obispo, CA
What junior college did you drop out of?
-- David Sustaita, New York, NY
I think the past few weeks have been some of the best work you've ever done.
Sure there are people who say "Love it or leave it", but I'm on the side of
those who love it and strive for improvement. Like you.
-- Donna Barnes, Riverside, CA
You're the old guard and you bore me. Wake up, get a life. Open your mind.
Be free. Our nation is done being a girly-girl. Now we are men with balls.
Even the women.
-- Virginia Leinart, WA
Garry, a toast to you. May you not end up in a reprogramming camp.
-- Gary Boyd, Kent, WA
When I see the strip, I laugh as I think of the pitiful morons who would
enjoy such stupidity.
-- Jeff Adkins, Carbondale, IL
The truly funny thing is, nothing is more unAmerican than being American.
Keep up the good work!
-- Raven Drumgod, Seattle, WA
You suck more than anything has ever sucked before.
-- Steve Jordan, Scottsale, AZ
You're totally freaking wrong politically, but I love the strip. Thanks.
-- Carlton Hall, Jr.
The following were among the multitude of questions and commentary received in response to the November 18th Sunday strip:
Why don't you go back to Canada, or even better, France?
-- Bev Kuerner, Little Rock, AK
Has it ever occurred to you, even once, that you MIGHT be wrong? You are so fucking arrogant. Please do the public a service and die.
--Stuart Schwartz, Virginia Beach, VA
Brilliant strip on 11-18. Thanks.
-- Charles Conley, Buxton, ME
Your disloyalty to our society and our country shine through quite clearly.
-- Vince Burns, Melbourne, FLA
My 7-year-old would gladly cartoon debate Mr. Trudeau, however I don't think
Randy would find it challenging enough.
-- George Giles
It takes courage to be ironic at a time when our masters have decreed irony
to be dead. Irony is the only way to make sense of recent days.
-- Steve Leo, Middleton, WI
You've got your politics mixed up with your wit and humor. Maybe you would
be happier in a country run by you, Alex Baldwin, Richard Gere, and Danny
Glover. Take Barbra Streisand along with you.
-- Lonnie Shoultz, Foley, AL
I'm sorry to say it, but this is pretty typical of most Democrats - they
just have no class, and are very vulgar.
-- Jake Licette, Racine, WI
Keep up the good work. Some people have forgotten that America is still
technically a democracy and would like to paint any criticism of Bush as
anti-American. I know that's not true. Don't quit, don't give in.
-- Anthony Rigney, Jacksonville, FLA
It seems as though you are a thoroughly brainwashed individual with a poor
sense of humor and timing. Perhaps you will wake up.
-- Robert Johnson, Wichita, KS
Aren't you glad you live in a country with a free press where you are free
to show how out of touch with reality you are?
-- Anne Gomes, Guatemala
Loved the 11-18 strip. It expressed my thoughts exactly. Thanks a lot for
just doing what you do.
-- Carl Fortunato, Yonkers, NY
Your petty and biased state of mind has no place for a patriotic thinking
America. Grow up, silly boy! We are at WAR!!!!
-- Delores Stafford, Maurepas, LA
Kudos for all Mr. Trudeau does to keep public discourse vital - a space in
which questions and critique may be offered.
-- Lori Muntz, Iowa City, IA
You're a first class idiot asshole. Go to hell.
-- Jon Bargas, Baton Rouge, LA
You're the biggity bomb, Dog! You aced that 11-18 cartoon, Dude. Keep up the
good work.
-- Dee Dee Arnelle, Baltimore, MD
Trudeau is not Canadian. He grew up in Saranac Lake, New York.
In his 10-21-01 strip Mallard Fillmore says GBT's a liar. Is he?
-- J. Smolin, Ames, Iowa
Who says irony is dead? The duck lays two big whoopers himself by claiming
that Trudeau accused Dan Quayle of using drugs and that he called Rush Limbaugh
a racist. In fact, he did neither -- quickly verified by firing up our
easy-as-pie search engine. The Quayle strips asserted only that the vice
president's accuser had been maltreated by prison authorities (documented),
and that Quayle had a DEA file (confirmed by the DEA). As for Limbaugh, GBT
never, ever called the popular broadcaster a racist -- he called him a
flaming, Nazi gasbag.
How can you possibly be so insensitive and out of touch with the national
sentiment? I am shocked and dismayed that your September 17 strip would
attack the president in a time of national crisis.
-- B. Babbitt, Columbus, Ohio
In response to the 9 -11 attacks Trudeau withdrew a week-long series of
daily strips critical of Bush -- already mailed to client newspapers --
replacing them with "Flashback" strips. Unfortunately a handful of papers,
including the one you read, did not follow these instructions for the first
few days of the week of 9-17.
The system by which Sunday strips are distributed and printed nationwide
requires a 6-7 week lead time, so the Doonesbury Sundays that have appeared
since 9-11 were already irretrievably in the pipeline by the time of the
attacks.
Which Doonesbury collection includes the strips from the out-of-print book
Dare to be Great, Ms. Caucus? I want to give those strips to a young woman starting law school, but I AIN'T giving up my copy of the original book.
-- S. Hoffman
The getting-into-law-school series was included in the first anthology, The
Doonesbury Chronicles, which, after a decades-long run, is finally out of
print as well. It is still available in used bookstores, or you could try
eBay or one of the many on-line companies that track down used books.
A recent revelation was that Mike nominated J.J. for her MacArthur Award
because he didn't want to pay alimony anymore. If J.J. has remarried, why
does Mike even have to pay alimony?
-- Elizabeth Forbes, Albuquerque
This latest Doonesbury inconsistency, like other instances noted in the FAQ
archive, was obviously thrown in to make sure readers are paying attention.
You do know that the story about Presidential IQ's that you used in your 9-2-02 strip is an Internet hoax, do you not? People that print things as vile and false as you did do not care what the truth actually is.
-- Kerry Wilson, Carrolton
What kind of ignorant piece of white trash do you need to be to try to use some fake IQ study to hurt the name of the leader of the free world?
-- Joseph Dirt, Winston-Salem
Not surprising from a Mamby Pamby Commie Pinko Liberal like yourself. Must be real depressing for you to realize that even I know you're full of it. If I know you're lying, everyone must know you're a liberal liar.
-- Steve Chapman, Goose Creek
Damn Liberal Freak! You are nothing but a scumbag, pal.
-- Chad Brewer, Gadsden
You're a moron. Have a good day.
-- Andy Bailey
Many thoughtful readers, including those sampled above, have expressed an interest in the "Presidential IQ" story, an internet hoax which was portrayed
as factual in a recent strip. This was a regrettable error, although perhaps
inevitable, given that this feature uses the same fact-checking house as
Saturday Night Live and The Drudge Report. Trudeau takes full
responsibility, acknowledging the use of fictional material from an outside
source instead of simply making it up as he usually does. The creator deeply
apologizes for unsettling anyone who was under the impression that the
President is, in fact, quite intelligent.
Aloha! Regarding your 'retro' 12-7-41 Sunday strip, Hawaii doesn't have
gulls. Strange but true! Malama pono - "take care"... -- Bruce Wheeler, Maui
Consider the source of the erroneous ID -- B.D. is hardly Mr. Natureboy.
Still, as a courtesy, we'll use FAQ to pass the ornithological clarification
along to other mainlanders.(Note: The above query refers to the Sunday which appeared on 7-15-01, shortly after release of the TV miniseries ÒPearl HarborÓ.)
Do you consider it an honour that typing www.myvulture.com into your browser
directs you to Boo.com, one of Europe's most famous dot.bombs? -- Justin, Stockholm, SWEDEN
Not only that, it provides an excellent opportunity to almost effortlessly create a fascinating and informative FAQ.
Could you tell me what happened to the Duke2000 site? -- E. Scott Marshall
I can't wait to re-run those great Uncle Duke movies from the Duke2000
campaign. I realize the election is over, but...is there hope? -- Jesse, Princeton, NJ
The Duke2000 web site - and its staff - were quickly unplugged in the wake
of the Ambassador's failure to take the White House. However, efforts are
currently underway to make the Duke2000 video collection available on VHS --
and the entire Web site (including video, audio, photos, text and graphics)
on DVD. Stay tuned.
I have trouble following the Duke storyline. The election stuff was clear,
but all this lost in a snowdrift stuff doesn't make any sense. It appears in
the op-ed pages, so I'm left to assume it's somehow political.
-- Jim Wilson
It's up to the editor of each newspaper to decide where the strip appears --
on the comics page, on the editorial page, or even among the classifieds.
Although Doonesbury is often characterized as "a political strip", there
have been many years in which the personal lives of the characters only
rarely touch on "politics" per se. The bender that led Duke to his snowdrift
repose was actually a post-political gesture which followed close on the
heels of his failed presidential bid.
I was reviewing Duke's tenure as ambassador to China. There was an episode where Honey takes Duke out to read political signs. In the May 1989 series on Tiananmen Square, do the Chinese characters on the signs mean anything, or did GBT make the symbols up?
--Gaylon Kent, Las Vegas, NV
Given the usual repressive deadline pressure, it would have been impossible
for GBT to create, translate, and letter realistic slogans in a language he
doesn't know for the Tiananmen Square banners. The calligraphic gibberish he
instead provided was resented by a handful of discerning readers.
Is it all right to buy Nike products
again? I've been avoiding them for years, but Jimmy Thudpucker
seems kindly disposed towards them. Has the company reformed?
--Kitty Williams
This would remain a personal choice, but you
should know that many of the recent improvements in labor conditions
being cited by Nike are being challenged by human rights critics.
For details, check with Global Exchange in San Francisco.
When Mike's computer company is hacked
into by J.J. and her boyfriend, she mentions that Mike should
pay more in support. Why does he need to pay her anything since
he is the one that takes care of Alex?
--Scott Kolb
J.J. is under the impression that the three
weekends a year Alex spends with her makes her the primary caregiver.
Which may lend some insight into their breakup.
How come most of the strips from 1983
are missing?
--Henrik Sorensen, Virum, DK
Because GBT was missing. He was on sabbatical
from January 1983 until October 1, 1984, during which time he
wrote Doonesbury : A Musical Comedy. In the musical the
denizens of Walden Commune graduated from college, Mike and
JJ were engaged, and other story lines were advanced. When the
strip returned it reflected these developments.
Where has Nicole got to?
--A.B., Sydney, NSW
Mike and Nicole have had several dramatic college
reunion encounters. Two gatherings back they almost had an affair.
At the most recent bash he was unable to gracefully conceal his
shock that she had put on some weight. The two have not been
in touch since Mike and Kim were married, nor did he send her
a wedding announcement.
Are there no lesbians in the world of
Doonesbury?
--Andrew M., Tallahassee, FL
Not yet.
Does Lacey have to get Alzheimer's? We
love the lady, think she's a great role model for young and
old, and have parents and grandparents that had/have Alzheimer's.
Can't it be shown to be a mistake?
--Karen G., Brooklyn, N.Y.
Since 1983, the characters in Doonesbury have
aged in real time (albeit in fits and starts). Two characters
have died since that time, Dick, Lacey's husband, who met a
swift end with heart failure; and Andy, who died of complications
from AIDS. Since Lacey is now in her early 90s, it was not illogical
for her to become the next character to face death. At the moment,
Lacey is going through the almost universal denial that Alzheimer's
patients experience, followed by the acceptance that will allow
her to resign with dignity. Thereafter the focus will move to
Lacey's relationship with her primary caregiver, Jeremy, who
is actually well suited to the role by virtue of his high comfort
level with both personal rejection and non-sequiturial conversation.
As always, humor is held out as the balm that allows everyone
to cope with savage circumstance.
How come none of the main characters
in Doonesbury ever have pets? Can't GT draw animals?
--Adam A., Madisonville, TN
No, he can't, but that's not the reason. Pets
aren't part of the franchise. Once you introduce pets, then
you have to resist the overwhelming temptation to anthropomorphize,
cutely. While this actually works in Peanuts, it probably wouldn't
in Doonesbury. The closest the strip ever came to pets was Zonker's
plants, but given whom they were conversing with, they were
probably better described as figments than pets.
Why does the 8-11-91 Doonesbury Organizational Chart list Zonker as Duke's nephew, even though a previous strip
said he was just a family friend?
--Jordan S., Wallingford, PA
The chart was in error. The intern who researched
it was summarily fired, although she retained health benefits
through 1993 and still occasionally tends bar at studio social
functions.
Why isn't Nike even mentioned at this
web site? Did Nike get a restraining order or something?
--Mary B., Fallbrook, CA
Traditionally, complaints from targets of the
strip only encourage the artist. Moreover, Nike, not being a
government agency, is hardly in a position to "censor" the strip.
There are several more weeks about Nike in the works.
B.D.'s helmet used to be a football helmet,
but these days it's obviously a motorcycle helmet. When did
this change take place and why? Was it intentional?
--Michael B., New Haven, CT
B.D. has been through a succession of helmets.
The first was his Walden football helmet, which had a star on
it. This was followed by a Los Angeles rams helmet, an infantry
helmet during the Gulf War, a riot helmet during the L.A. riots,
and his current motorcycle helmet, which he acquired when he
became a California highway patrolman. He is currently transitioning
back to a football helmet in his new job as coach for the Walden
football team.
Will Duke react to John Denver's death?
--E. Zuckerman
Fortunately, Duke is not in charge of his own
storylines. Readers will be spared his grotesque, loathsome
reaction.
Whatever happened to Bernie's girlfriend
who started a lesbian newsletter?
--R.M.W., New Orleans, LA
Didi has made no appearance in the strip since
she showed up as an audio-visual engineer for J.J.'s performance
piece, "Art-ville" in 1986.
Way back in the Doonesbury Chronicles,
there was a strip that featured the characters seeing Walden
commune for the first time, and a person with long shaggy hair
which completely hides his or her face. Who the heck was that?
--Thomas M., Nepean, Ontario
Didi, Bernie's girlfriend.
What's the deal with B.D.'s Gulf War
syndrome?
--Michael B.
B.D's symptoms are currently in remission.
Recently rereading the adventures of
Duke, I notice that after being busted by FBI agents while trying
to finance his John DeLorean movie with a coke deal, nothing
happens and he goes free. Did the book miss some strips or was
he let off through narrative dissonance?
--Paul M., London, UK
Duke was not let off; he was simply prosecuted
in another medium. The strip was temporarily suspended in January
of 1983, and the character storylines were advanced in the Broadway
musical, "Doonesbury." In Act I, Duke suffers through a trial,
is found guilty and sentenced to community service. The judge
orders him to set up a drug rehabilitation center. Duke buys
Walden Commune ostensibly for that purpose, but in actuality
he plans to raze it and put up condos. In Act II, the plot fails--spectacularly--and
Duke goes on the lam.
Who is George Hamilton and why is he
featured so often in Doonesbury strips?
--Chris F., Melbourne, Australia
George Hamilton is a B-list actor with an A-list
tan, which he maintains, famously, year-round. (A Hamilton tip:
spread your toes with toothpicks.) For many years, he was friend
and mentor to problem tannist Zonker Harris.
I am a bit confused about the recent
storyline concerning the revocation of tenure at Walden College.
Is GBT in favor of abolishing the practice of tenure?
--David R., Lexington, SC
The Doonesbury strips about tenure have not
been about whether tenure is a good system as much as whether
it's a viable system. Given the inexorable trend towards ever-tightening
marketplace efficiencies, it seems unlikely that the academy
will remain the only place on earth with guaranteed lifetime
employment.
Will Andy, the deceased AIDS patient,
ever return in his angel form to help us with any gay/AIDS-related
stories?
--Paul T., Los Angeles, CA
He already has, most recently to help Mark
face up to his emerging sexual identity.
When, with whom, and under what circumstances
did Mike lose his virginity?
--Richard P., Baton Rouge, LA
Mike surrendered his virginity to his future
wife J.J. Caucus, just prior to his graduation from college
in the spring of 1983. The event was dramatized in the Broadway
musical version of Doonesbury, which opened later that year.
When was Walden a commune? Who owned
it? Was it off-campus housing owned by the university? Who sold
it to Reverend Sloan?
--John A., Tucson, AZ
Mike Doonesbury and his friends first rented
the twelve-room Walden house in 1972 with the expressed intention
of turning it into a commune. In the spring of 1983, the landlady,
Mrs. Kirby, sold the house to Duke, who planned to raze it and
replace it with lakeside condo units. When that plan collapsed,
the property reverted to Mrs. Kirby, who continued renting it
to Mike and J.J. until they moved out in 1985. The next tenant
was Rev. Sloan, who initially used Walden as a sanctuary for
Latin American political refugees. Later he bought the house
and converted it into a community church/aerobic center. Finally,
Scot outgrew the place and sold it to Boopsie and B.D. in 1997.
What gave GBT the idea for the 1998 Michael
Jordan Asian Sweatshop Tour?
--E. Sawyer, El Paso, TX
Michael Jordan. While it hasn't been widely
reported, Jordan actually is planning a trip to Asia this spring
to investigate worker conditions. Nike says it will try to be
helpful in planning the trip.
When will someone from Doonesbury visit
Roswell, NM and have an "experience"?
--Tony Clayton, Roswell, NM
An unlikely scenario, but check out next week's
strips, reruns from the week of July 7, 1997, in which Boopsie
discusses Roswell and her experiences in an alien breeding facility.
The series earned GBT a letter from the mayor of Roswell and
a commemorative enamel pin.
Seeing as how Kim was an orphan baby after
Vietnam and Mike was in college at the time, what is the age
difference between Mike and his wife Kim? I mean, you could
almost call Mike a pedo.
--Victor Acosta, San Juan, PR
Please. It's an intergenerational couple. Mike
and Kim went over this ground prior to marriage (see strips
from winter '97), and they seem to have come to terms with the
age discrepancy. So should we.
Did GBT have a plan for what the "missing
piece" of the Iran-Contra puzzle was going to be?
----J. Pomeroy, New York, NY
The plan was for it to remain missing, as indeed
it has in real life. George Bush's pardons guaranteed it.