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Rock Stars Do Dumbest Things
AC/ DC
DUMBEST QUOTE
"My fantasy [guitar] would be a cannon that shot sperm at the, audience." (Angus Young)
FACTS OF LIFE (and Death)
RINGLEADERS: Angus Young (guitar)—born March 31,1955, Glasgow, Scotland; Malcolm Young (guitar)—born January 6, 1963, Glasgow, Scotland; Bon Scott (vocals)—born Ronald Belford Scott, July 9, 1946, Angus, Scotland, died February 20, 1980; the coroner's report declared that Scott had "drunk himself to death"; Brian Johnson (vocals)—born October 5, 1947, Newcastle, England.
SELECTED HITS (and Misses)
SONGS: "Big Balls" (1976), "Whole Lotta Rosie" (1977), "For Those About to Rock (We Salute You)" (1981), "Mistress for Christmas" (1990), "Got You By the Balls" (1990), "Moneytalks" (1981).
QUICKIE BIO
When the Australian brothers Malcolm and Angus Young saw their brother George playing in his own rock band, they decided that they could do a lot better. So in 1973, the two teamed up to create AC/DC. Original vocalist David Evans was soon replaced by wildman Bon Scott, who drank himself to death in 1980 and was replaced by Brian Johnson. Though the band changed singers, AC/DC never changed its look or its music.
AC/DC DOES THE DUMBEST THINGS
Before putting together AC/DC, Malcolm Young played with the Velvet Underground. No, not the Velvet Underground. Young's bandmates were Australians who simply stole the name.
When he first started performing, Angus Young wasn't sure what to wear onstage. First he tried a gorilla suit. Then he tried a Zorro outfit. His sister suggested that he wear an Australian schoolboy's outfit. It suited Angus perfectly.
The Young brothers claimed that when they named their band AC/DC, they didn't realize that the electrical term was also slang for bisexual. The ambiguous name worked in their favor, as the band was hired to play many gay-themed gigs when they were just starting out.
Despite its ambiguous name, AC/DC developed into a hard-core heterosexual act. Boob-loving fans were excited to learn that Malcolm worked as a sewing-machine maintenance mechanic in a bra factory.
After AC/DC hit the big time, a voluptuous (42-39-56) strong-armed singer brought Scott back to her place and mated with him. Allegedly,Scott was her twenty-ninth sexual conquest that month. The band dedicated a song to the well-endowed temptress—"Whole Lotta Rosie."
After a show in San Antonio, Texas, an intoxicated Scott proved what kind of a man he was by drinking a whole bottle of "liquor" in one gulp. Unfortunately, the bottle he downed was a bottle of aftershave.
Angus Young liked to get physical onstage. "I've jumped off amps and fallen ass over tit," confessed Young. "Made a complete fool of myself." When he broke his fingers, he put splints on them and used them to play slide guitar.
American soldiers found a use for AC/DC music. During the 1989 invasion of Panama, U.S. troops blasted out "Highway to Hell" at top volume in order to drive strongman Manuel Noriega out of the Vatican Embassy. When Johnson heard that AC/DC music was being used for psychological torture, the singer shrugged, "I guess now we won't get to play for the Pope."
When one journalist complained that AC/DC had made ten records that all sounded the same, Angus was insulted. "He's a liar," fumed Young. "We've made eleven albums that all sound the same."
ROCK STARS DO THE DUMBEST THINGS. Copyright © 1998 by Margaret Moser and Bill Crawford. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. For information, address St. Martin's Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y 10010.